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Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
4,375 posts, read 4,070,925 times
Reputation: 2158
Well, I'm like the OP's husband. When I'm -- keeping it PG-13 here -- alone, I never look at pictures of the woman for whom I have romantic feelings at the time. I don't know why but it would feel weird. There's always been a separation in my mind between "I find this person sexually attractive", which is probably 90% of the women I see and 20% of the men, and "I am in love with this person or have romantic feelings for them". As to the latter, I have found fewer than 10 women about whom I feel that way, in 25 years of searching. They never feel the same, hence the reason why I have never had a GF or had sex.
But yeah I don't look at pictures of people I know when I'm doing...that. Like I said it would be weird.
I know this is an older thread so I won't quote anyone, but I think the main problem was overlooked here. And I think it's a common problem in a lot of hetero couples today.
Firstly, women are given the impression that men are very visual and love looking at women's bodies, and photos of them in various states of undress. We are told we have to look gorgeous and sexy, and be sexy and sexual to get a man and to keep his attention.
So when a woman makes an advance or tries to be sexy for a man in the way they're supposed to want us to, and gets no response, it can be devastating, not to mention confusing when he doesn't respond, or doesn't respond enthusiastically. It feels like rejection.
It's all well and good to prefer other things besides nude photos and your girlfriend trying to be "sexy" for you but for God's sake at least acknowledge what she's trying to do for you in some way! Otherwise you run the risk of having her think she's not doing it for you, which inevitably is going to destroy your relationship.
There's a lot of things I could care less about that my boyfriend does for me which I know he's doing as a gesture to show how much he cares and to win me over / keep me. Not acknowledging them, and not acting like I care either way would just be cruel. Like someone giving you a present and you saying "gee, thanks" and tossing it to the side.
It's primarily about respect for your partner's feelings, the fact that they are making themselves vulnerable to you, and understanding that it's a give and take. What you have to give, in this situation, is an acknowledgement of what your partner is trying to do (turn you on, be intimate & vulnerable with you, show that she cares & is thinking of you)
How hard is it to respond with something like:
"Yummy. Can't wait to see more of that in person later?"
Agree, it's a lack of empathy. How hard is it to make a bit of effort?
Sorry. Any woman who sends nude photos of herself to a boyfriend has poor judgement. Do you really want these pictures out there? When you beak up, does it not bother you that your ex has pics of you. They could wind up on the ent. You know he is showing all of his friends. Hard to believe that anyone other than a high school girl with low intelligence would consider doing this.
Haha wow some weird attitudes. I have naked pictures of my GF, I appreciate them, it’s sweet of someone to share something like that and they should be thanked for it. Presumably you should find your GF hot or maybe you should try to find a hot girl if she doesn’t do it for you lol
As hot as any girlfriend I have had, and believe me, they were hotter than I deserve, none of them offered to send naked photos of themselves. It is something both they and I would see as having low moral fiber. I have no desire to walk around with those pics on my phone. What good could come of that? What use is it? No decent woman would do this. Welcome to the Kardashian generation.
A bit of a prude I'm guessing. People have been going around partially clothed or unclothed for thousands of years. You are probably descended from some of those people. Relax and enjoy! your moral fiber is fine and naked pictures are going to ruin that.
Sorry. Any woman who sends nude photos of herself to a boyfriend has poor judgement. Do you really want these pictures out there? When you beak up, does it not bother you that your ex has pics of you. They could wind up on the ent. You know he is showing all of his friends. Hard to believe that anyone other than a high school girl with low intelligence would consider doing this.
I have nude photos of my girlfriend (not showing her face in any of them, and aren't saved to my phone image gallery that is) and haven't shown any of my friends since that's private between me and her (and the trust she has in me to not show them to anyone).
If we break up one day, then we break up. What's the difference? Presumably, you'd have seen each other naked in-person anyway, so both of you know what you look like without any clothes on.
"No decent woman would do this" Lol...
Edit-I will say that it MIGHT be bad judgment if you send a naked photo WITH your face showing. That I can understand
Last edited by NewYorker11356; 08-08-2018 at 09:55 PM..
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