Problems in a relationship (single, calling, different, issues)

[round4]

How much and what are you willing to put up with? Sounds to me like you need to love and respect YOURSELF a lot more than you are.

[Sonata36]

Man, this one is super simple:

She wants it to be over but she doesn't want to be the bad guy therefore she is doing things like this so that YOU break it off first, and thus you can be the bad guy.

[intelfan11315]

Someone asked how it ended up, I actually spoke again with her about the subject and she felt really bad. Things have been better than ever and both of us are very happy. I think any relationship can go through rough patches, this was a bad short period of time, but there were too many good times to end it over a short time of frustration. Both of us are very happy.

[artemis agrotera]

good for you guys

i'm glad you didn't listen to the assumptions that she is a cheater.

Sometimes people go through periods where they might be angry, down or stressed.

[20yrsinBranson]

Originally Posted by burgler09

Me and my girlfriend have been together almost 2 years now, and i really love her a lot. The problem is recently she has been getting very angry with every tiny thing I do, it is almost every day even when things are going good, something will pop up and then she will turn it into a huge argument. She seems constantly annoyed with me. It has been tough lately, and I even ask her if she still wants to be with me and if she's tired of me, and she says yes and that she wants to be with me, but then after that she will mock me for asking. I feel like I can never do anything right, and I feel like she blames me for a lot of things. If we're together and then it ends up being more time than we expected, she gets angry and says "you see why I don't come around? you just make me late and it wastes my time"

I don't know how to fix things, even when I try to not do the things that she tells me bothers her, it seems like new things just come up. But she tells me she wants to stay with me. I know I sound like a 16 year old, but man we used to get along so good, I don't want to just let it go. Is there a way to make her not be upset with me? Is this a sign she is just tired of me? Is there any advice for a situation like this.. I mean I feel like problems can always be fixable.. but could it be she really just wants to get away?

She sounds more like a wife than a girlfriend. Dating was created for a reason. To find out if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Ask yourself that very question.

20yrsinBranson

[intelfan11315]

Originally Posted by Ozgal

good for you guys

i'm glad you didn't listen to the assumptions that she is a cheater.

Sometimes people go through periods where they might be angry, down or stressed.

It was stressful times for both of us, I don't let things like lack or respect slide, but I do understand that we aren't at our perfect behaivor at all times and after 2 years, especially the fact of how bad she felt.

[intelfan11315]

Originally Posted by 20yrsinBranson

She sounds more like a wife than a girlfriend. Dating was created for a reason. To find out if this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. Ask yourself that very question.

20yrsinBranson

A fairly easy yes

[lovesMountains]

Originally Posted by burgler09

Someone asked how it ended up, I actually spoke again with her about the subject and she felt really bad. Things have been better than ever and both of us are very happy. I think any relationship can go through rough patches, this was a bad short period of time, but there were too many good times to end it over a short time of frustration. Both of us are very happy.

Pulling for you to stay that way

Thanks for the update, I always appreciate when an OP comes back to give one

[WireChief]

Originally Posted by burgler09

A fairly easy yes

I hope you are right and I hope you pause to consider that maybe she is only feeling bad 'for now' and sorry 'for now'. I don't want you on this board 3 years from now wondering why your wife is so biotchy.

You strike me as being committed to the relationship and making it work . People who are the only one who is genuinely committed are vulnerable when their SO is not of the same mindset.

A commitment means that she is willing to compromise, make a genuine attempt to understand your point of view and is willing to sacrifice. It will result in tangible behaviours, not just expressions of intent.

What bugs me about your story is:
- It wasn't an occasional bad day; it was for some period of time. This suggests to me that this is her normal, when she is not making an effort.
- She didn't (or you didn't reveal) that there was a 'special' and understandable stress that caused this episode.

I don't want the following to happen to you.
-She gets growly, you call her on it and she corrects
-She gets comfortable, the same happens
-you marry or have kids
-She has kids and she no longer has to restrain herself because of the obvious excuse that kids are stressful and that you're not being a supportive spouse and if you were better at that, she wouldn't be biotchy.
-You get chippy too and it all goes down hill.
-You put up with it because you are committed to the relationship for the kids but your emotions for her are numb
-After several years of her crap, you finally make peace with leaving her and tell her so
-She realizes that she'll lose you and begins to treat you much better.
-And you wonder why after so much crap, why should you stay with someone who only treats you better when you are ready to leave

And THAT, is what bugs me about this. If you don't make it clear that this behaviour will result in ending the relationship then I fear she will not take you seriously. Commitment to the relationship has to go both ways or it will eventually go sour.

If this happens again you need to seriously consider your future.

Dating is the time to test a relationship and the time to leave bad ones.

Goo luck!!!!!!!

WC

[intelfan11315]

I am in a relationship about 2 years, and it has been shaky for a while and we've been fighting a lot. Mainly due to her lack of respect to me and saying very rude things about me. It has been really droning and we fight quite often, and just a few days ago I have met a girl who has been really nice to me, and we've been getting along very well.

I'm not really asking what should I do to you guys.. but more.. how would you handle the situation?