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There is no such thing as luck, only probabilities and math is indifferent. It seems cruel Hurri but there it is, God helps those who help themselves and even then the odds say at times you will go down in flames. The only luck you will ever have will be manufactured by your own hands.
There's plenty of decent men. When women complain about stuff like that, it means there's no decemt men THEY'RE ATTRACTED TO. If I say there's no decent women, it means there's no decent women I'M ATTRACTED TO. I've never gone and said that, but you see my point. It's about the men they're attracted to.
People, male or female, who complain about there not being any decent prospects out there tend to be what I call "[poop] magnets."
Yes, into everyone's life an undesirable or two will fall, but if that's all you meet and that's all who is attracted to you, well, do we really have to trot out the ol' common denominator cliche yet again?
In the world of romance and dating, like attracts like. If you meet loser after loser, you are either approaching the wrong people or there is something about you that leads the wrong people to approach you.
Either way, you can control the rate at which you attract losers by evaluating yourself and your situation, from your own behavior to the places you socialize to the area in which you live. Should you give someone the benefit of the doubt and your gut starts firing on your first date, end the date and do not have contact with the person again. If you date someone for a couple of weeks and you see red flags, dump the person. All too often, people make excuses and then wonder why they get burned later.
But, you know, all of that is much too difficult. Instead, it's easier for bitter women to blame men in general, and it's easier for bitter men to blame women in general.
I think most are talking about meeting someone, not being involved, not dating and being in a relationship.
BRAVO. THIS. I fall dead smack in the middle of your description. I'm extremely balanced in terms of alpha/provider ratio of qualities (meaning I'm joker of both trades, master of None, ie. nominal), and I can't get the time of day from women I consider sexual equals.
So, true to your theory, I spend the majority of my time partnerless, as I refuse to settle again for the "available chunky girl who returned the phone call"...ergo, the exwife. The only twist my life has to your archetype is that I resort to prostitution and overtly mutually short term "business" sexual interactions (cougars and/or women with no possible compatibility with me in terms of forming a life union), to literally get me through the year. The second I attempt to approach a woman of my age group in a level headed fashion, the checklists come out: Not rich enough, 'stingy', boring, car's not new enough, zip code is too far or too crappy, house's too small, he's an 8 but not a 10, etc etc et al ad nauseam.
Then I got the beta orbiters who hang around me. The baggage patrol. Or the overweight bunch. Or the pity #ucks who argue with me about not considering them pity #ucks as they beg me to consider them (sighs...). It's one big disheartening exercise in "she likes me, but I like the other girl, and that girl doesn't like me...". All because women have completely been brainwashed to expect more than they bring to the table, unsettling the whole order of the world. A world increasingly populated by single parenting, since nobody hardly genuinely loves each other with a sense of posterity when they inseminate one another these days anymore. How could they? We're all everybody's plan B.
In this whole discussion I look back at my life and recognize I've (as in, the MALE half of a relationship) always been the ceding one. I have always had to cede my 'ideals' in order to effect the consumation of any relationship. This too goes in tune with your theory of the polarization of women's expectations. They never get to settle, we men always have to. Now that I'm divorced and no longer subscribe to settling, my romantic life has effectively been decomissioned. Like dust bunnies down the hall way. Even in post-divorce, nothing has changed. Women are just as entitled as when I was dating my exwife almost 8 years ago.
Men get accused of being users and not being available for committed relationships. How ironic. Because here is an educated, one sigma above median income earning, able bodied, sexually active man, ACTIVELY bemoaning the fact I'd like to stop sport #ucking hookers and cougars for the chance at developing a monogamous life partnership.
But the only people responding to that request are women I'm not remotely attracted to, as they bring NOTHING to the table. I'm sorry, not being attracted to women who outweigh me, have no education, have baggage Delta Airlines would charge them triple for, and an attitude so pointed and entitled that one could cut diamonds with, is NOT equivalent to me "being picky" or "aiming for women above your league". That would be called SETTLING or "dancing with the one that brung ya". Been there, done that, got the T-shirt. Women need to adjust their thinking, this kamikaze attitude is sending us all to a boiling cauldron of single motherhood American Hell. And nobody's happy, not even the married ones.
Just my .02 worth....but I think sleeping with hookers and doing casual hookups has a way of repelling LTR oriented women, even if you don't say anything. I can't prove it, but it's what I observe among my gay friends. The ones in LTRs tended to hook up less when they were single than the perpetually single ones.
I also think the hooking up is contributing to your cynicism. As another poster said, that cynicism has got to be bleeding through when you meet people in person. As another poster also said, your cynicism about the divorce bleeds through in a lot of your posts. Something's outta whack there, and it's not just with the woman you divorced.
You make a lot of good points, though. In particular, the comments about single parenting seem spot on. The single parenting thing hurts everyone, IMO. We've got to turn that around for both financial and other reaons. But we also need to start noticing that we're as much a part of the problem as "the other".
I think people are too afraid of trying each other out.
People dismiss each other before they are even close to knowing really anything about each other.
I mean even if I'm picky, I could do a half-try with a half-match just to see what happens. But I seem to be alone in thinking like this, and apparently it's desperate to want anything at all...?
I don't actually hear many women complaining that they can't meet decent men.
What I hear more often is that no matter who they meet, they're not going to marry or live with a man again bc it's too much of a PITA.
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