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Dude come to NYC. Most of the serial daters here would eat you alive. I bet your perspective would change then.
Us, different tactics for different environments. In fact, I work with a girl right now who was a graduate student at Columbia. She said that she would date guys she wasn't interested in for meals and drinks sometimes. She's a nice girl, but I can see how a starving college student in the city might talk herself into taking advantage of free nights out. I wouldn't play that at all. I would act quite differently if that's what I was faced with. But I'm not. I'd like to think I could tell if a woman was using me, and I'm not that desperate for company. If I got that vibe, I'd walk and stick the woman with the tab.
What about the nature of the relationship changes who should pay?
If it progressed further then the ''switching'' method seems ok. This is when the guy decides to pay one day and next time it's the woman paying and so on... taking turns.
Quote:
Originally Posted by filihok
Why if it's a romantic relationship should the asker pay?
Why not? It was his/her time being invested in planning for a date, doing the asking out, wanting to get to know you and seek for a relationship and making you get all dressed up.
Quote:
Originally Posted by filihok
Why is it different for non-romantic relationships?
You don't talk to friends nor treat them the same as you would on a date. You're not gonna be in a relationship with your friends nor are you obligated to show that type of courtesy towards them as you do on a date.
Paying for the first date is terrible advice. I'd take it as a sign of desperation. You shouldn't do that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by usamathman
Those guys probably weren't interested in a long term relationship with you. Best to find some better guys to go out with.
See, I just can't win. I have some guy saying they would really love it and be impressed if a woman offered to pay, then I'm told it's desperate and they weren't interested.
If it progressed further then the ''switching'' method seems ok. This is when the guy decides to pay one day and next time it's the woman paying and so on... taking turns.
Sure. That sounds fine.
Quote:
Why not? It was his/her time being invested in planning for a date, doing the asking out, wanting to get to know you and seek for a relationship and making you get all dressed up.
Is it not both people's time being invested?
Is it not both people wanting to get to know each other?
Aren't both people getting dressed up?
Quote:
You don't talk to friends nor treat them the same as you would on a date. You're not gonna be in a relationship with your friends nor are you obligated to show that type of courtesy towards them as you do on a date.
Ok, but what about those differences has anything to do with who is expected to pay?
If it progressed further then the ''switching'' method seems ok. This is when the guy decides to pay one day and next time it's the woman paying and so on... taking turns.
Why not? It was his/her time being invested in planning for a date, doing the asking out, wanting to get to know you and seek for a relationship and making you get all dressed up.
You don't talk to friends nor treat them the same as you would on a date. You're not gonna be in a relationship with your friends nor are you obligated to show that type of courtesy towards them as you do on a date.
I don't think that a lot of men get this. Women go to more trouble then men do in certain ways on dates. They buy more expensive clothes and make up. There are more rules for how they should act... it's more of a pain for them in certain ways. That's one reason why men pay.
See, I just can't win. I have some guy saying they would really love it and be impressed if a woman offered to pay, then I'm told it's desperate and they weren't interested.
Some women will be impressed that I've hung by hooks pierced through my flesh. Some will be disgusted.
Amazing that all people aren't the same.
The thing is, that since who should pay isn't rooted in any type of logic, if the expectation were changed to the logical "they should split paying" this particular 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' could be avoided.
See, I just can't win. I have some guy saying they would really love it and be impressed if a woman offered to pay, then I'm told it's desperate and they weren't interested.
Dating blows.
If the guy you are with doesn't view you as girlfriend/wife material then it won't matter how many dates you pay for. Once you get put into booty call category there is nothing you can do to get out of it.
Women paying for date only applies to guys that are truly interested in getting to know them. Not guys looking to only have sex with you.
Any man that says he is not impressed with a woman offering to pay for a date is CLUELESS if you ask me. Serious issues behind that mentality.
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