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I have yet to get wind of any guy I know cheating, I know plenty of women who have cheated, is it just my surroundings or do women cheat 20 times as much as men do? they certainly have more opportunity....
Should women start accepting cheating from a man as long as he doesn't bring it home or make it very obvious?..disrespectful....
And just to add support, I have spoken to females who say that they don't care if their man is cheating, as long as they are not being disrespected and use protection.
In 2011, I cannot understand why a woman would be surprised if their man/husband cheated.
Historically, the roles of the husband and wife/mother were such that for many decades a man's obtaining sex outside the marriage was not considered a bad thing. Wives chose to "look the other way" so long as the bills were paid and the children were fed. Men, on the other hand, understood that sex was a "business arrangement" (in the case of prostitutes), or if there was a mistress involved, that divorce was out of the question.
Somewhere along the line....about the time when prostitution became illegal and women began to get more "rights", this mentality was replaced with the model that we have now.
Men, by their very nature are not monogamous creatures and expecting them to be with one woman only for their entire life is unrealistic and somewhat unfair. Surely, much of the domestic MISERY that we experience in this country is due to this fact. It would be much more practical to reinstate a "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy for men based upon the historical model.
Being with another woman does not mean that the man does not love his wife. It does not mean that he doesn't want to be married. It doesn't mean that he wants a divorce or anything of the kind. It simply means he wants a little "strange". It's a guy thing.
Men, by their very nature are not monogamous creatures and expecting them to be with one woman only for their entire life is unrealistic and somewhat unfair. Surely, much of the domestic MISERY that we experience in this country is due to this fact. It would be much more practical to reinstate a "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy for men based upon the historical model.
Being with another woman does not mean that the man does not love his wife. It does not mean that he doesn't want to be married. It doesn't mean that he wants a divorce or anything of the kind. It simply means he wants a little "strange". It's a guy thing.
20yrsinBranson
Bull. Women are no better or worse at monogamy and are equally as promiscuous. A cheater does not love their SO. If they did, they wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
Should women start accepting cheating from a man as long as he doesn't bring it home or make it very obvious?..disrespectful....
And just to add support, I have spoken to females who say that they don't care if their man is cheating, as long as they are not being disrespected and use protection.
In 2011, I cannot understand why a woman would be surprised if their man/husband cheated.
the last girl i had a fling with told me point blank, "i don't care if you f*** other girls, i really don't"...i think all women should be like her
Bull. Women are no better or worse at monogamy and are equally as promiscuous. A cheater does not love their SO. If they did, they wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
I agree that women are not, by nature, monogamous either. We are discussing men.
Sex and love are totally independent. Our CULTURE has made the connection. Biology has not. To be perfectly honest, "love" (which is really just a temporary hormonal/endocrine rush to ensure pregnancy and survival of the species), does not exist in the way that romance novel writers would suggest. Now, there is commitment, respect, honor, etc., which is the true "LOVE", and it has nothing to do with sex either.
People remain true to their mate and do not cheat, because the negative ramifications outweigh the benefits. If the spouse did not care or it was more culturally accepted, both sexes would be doing it all the time. Even more than they already are, which I believe is something like 40 percent.
I'm kind of with you on this. For some reason, people on cheating threads always want to stand up and say, "Why, I'm not like THOSE people over there." I don't buy into that. I think that all people are capable of it given the right combination of circumstances, and denying it is an act of hubris and moral egotism.
After all, most of us couldn't imagine stealing either. But what happened if you were faced with a calamity and needed to feed yourself and your children? Miss six or seven meals, and I'm guessing you'd take a brick to the grocery store window in a skinny minute. Likewise, what happens if you suffer in an emotionally barren marriage? What if you've been abused? What if you just married someone who does not connect with you anymore? I've seen plenty of pretty righteous people go off the rails after a few years of those situations. And none of them ever believed it could happen to them. Oh, sure, people love to say that they would get divorced first. But it almost never happens that way because events sneak up on them.
Now, all that certainly doesn't sanction cheating. Heck, I've had the hook thrown my way more than once and refused. And I've always tried to not put myself into a situation where it could happen. But rather than assure yourself that it can't happen to you, it's far better policy to recognize your own fallibility and act accordingly.
Cheaters are human, too. Even Hitler, as evil as he was, also was a human being. The thing about cheating is it doesn't just happen. It's a process. No, you just don't wake up and say I'm going to f*ck my coworker.
You get close to your coworker over time, maybe thinking my marriage is strong, I'm trusted, and I trust myself. You go away with that person on business trips, you eat together you open up, you work late nights together and suddenly you're very attracted. The emotional barriers are down and next thing you know, so are your shorts. That's typically what happens.
Then there are the slime balls who are just so horny they can't keep it in their pants or they crave variety and they go after it without guilt or regret. Some people think I work hard, and I deserve to have some on the side. I've even heard it said that some people want to be successful so they will have more access to sex. Lots of sex.
Why do they get into relationships? Every body wants to be thought of as special by one certain person. Even these people. Also, relationships are socially sanctioned and singles aren't thought of as truly grown up in some cases. How many politicians at a high level do you know that are single?
I agree that women are not, by nature, monogamous either. We are discussing men.
Sex and love are totally independent. Our CULTURE has made the connection. Biology has not. To be perfectly honest, "love" (which is really just a temporary hormonal/endocrine rush to ensure pregnancy and survival of the species), does not exist in the way that romance novel writers would suggest. Now, there is commitment, respect, honor, etc., which is the true "LOVE", and it has nothing to do with sex either.
People remain true to their mate and do not cheat, because the negative ramifications outweigh the benefits. If the spouse did not care or it was more culturally accepted, both sexes would be doing it all the time. Even more than they already are, which I believe is something like 40 percent.
20yrsinBranson
I wouldn't. I think there are just those people who just like to f*ck others and are more apt to form superficial attachments. I'm not interested in swapping fluids with anyone I don't like and know well. I'm sure I'm not alone.
I'm faithful to my mate because I love him and because I'm not interested in hurting his feelings in addition to me thinking grinding on some relative stranger is gross.
Bull. Women are no better or worse at monogamy and are equally as promiscuous.
Agree. Nothing to argue with there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WakaFlocka
A cheater does not love their SO. If they did, they wouldn't have cheated in the first place.
This is a "politically correct" myth, but often not substantiated in reality. It is seldom so simple, and love can be a spectrum. Not that I condone cheating. At the very least it is a violation of trust, and often much worse.
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