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And then you stop asking her out, right? Moderator cut: Personal attack If you're calling all the shots and putting in all the effort, and you're not getting what you want, just walk away. Any guy who does otherwise is a sucker and has no one to blame but himself.
Not quite sure I read this in the right context since there was a moderator cut, but yes I walk away when I feel I'm not getting a good response from a girl, because in my experience there is no point in trying to cling on to something that just isn't there.
Quote:
Originally Posted by onihC
From what have been said in these kinds of threads, you may seem unmanly, not a gentleman, not a good man, not worth it, etc. if you don't continue to do all those things for a woman. Hey, that seems to be the tradition and sometimes traditions are hard to change.
Tradition is one thing, but If i'm the one sending 9/10 texts, always taking the initiative etc, while she's just coming along when she doesn't seem to have better things to do or comes with excuses then there isn't that many options open...
Doesn't have to be as apparent as this either... If I don't feel her pulse going beyond a certain beat or make a certain change at certain moments like when kissing etc, I'm gonna take it as her just riding along without really wanting me. I go a lot by pulse, because women are good at lying with with both body language and mouth, but they can't moderate their heartrate, and I'm good at detecting it in a suttle way...
The times that I have felt that things are going good the girl have always seemed eager to meet me.
Remember, Women CHOOSE the men; therefore, they have the power. An average looking woman can have her pick of several men. As a Man, you need to "proof your worth" to her by showing your social skills, charisma, physical attributes, social status, etc.
There are ways around this through prostitution, strip clubs, porn, sugar babies etc. Yes, but these methods are look down upon by society (men and women alike) and some men either don't have the $$$ or don't want to be labeled a loser.
I remember that there was this study done in a college campus. They had one attractive male and female and they had them approach the opposite sex and proposition sex to them. The female got like a 98% acceptance while the male got rejected completely.
Last edited by Mr. Klato; 10-15-2011 at 10:32 AM..
Remember, Women CHOOSE the men; therefore, they have the power. An average looking woman can have her pick of several men. As a Man, you need to "proof your worth" to her by showing your social skills, charisma, physical attributes, social status, etc.
There are ways around this through prostitution, strip clubs, porn, sugar babies etc. Yes, but these methods are look down upon by society (men and women alike) and some men either don't have the $$$ or don't want to be labeled a loser.
I remember that there was this study done in a college campus. They had one attractive male and female and they had them approach the opposite sex and proposition sex to them. The female got like a 98% acceptance while the male got rejected completely.
Which is exactly why men shouldn't pursue. It makes absolutely no sense. The women are the gatekeepers, the men are ready regardless. The efficient model is for women to ask men out. We all waste a lot of time and effort with the current system.
Now that is the efficient model but I'm for equality so I would be ok with a 50/50 split or whoever is attracted first doing the asking. The old fashion system is deeply rooted in sexist patriarchy and the women arguing for it are engaging in self-defeating behavior even if they believe they are getting over.
All you men who are so upset that you have to do the pursuing - the people that you should be upset with are the other men who are doing the pursuing. Stop ragging on the women. Go find all the men who are pursuing women and tell them to stop so that you'll have a better shot. Just say to them, "Could you please stop going after women because I want them to come after me and they won't do that if you are going after them." I'm sure they will oblige you. Problem solved.
It's not about having a better chance, it's about being equal. Do you think I don't ask women out? Of course I do, I can be very sucessful using the system to my advantage, but that doesn't mean it's right and it doesn't mean it's fair.
I have a girlfriend right now, I asked her out, it's no big deal, every situation is different. The problem is when some people don't want to recognize that every situation is different and insist on a rigid viewpoint that one sex ALWAYS has to do something. THAT is sexist, THAT perpetuates sterotypes and hurts women, not men.
You cannot ask for equality in one aspect of your life and inequality in the other. If men see you as meek and unable to take charge in one aspect of your life it will be harder for them to switch modes in others, that's why traditional men tend to be more traditionally sexist in other aspects (my wife should stay home with the kids, women aren't great leaders etc)
Like I said, th system hurts women and is an annoyance for men.
Every male species usually iniates the courtship and the female accepts or rejects so i guess we are wired that way. I don't believe this will change. A man will have to pursue the woman.
Instead of pursuing just live your life. Find happiness within yourself and have people compliment your happiness.
Every male species usually iniates the courtship and the female accepts or rejects so i guess we are wired that way. I don't believe this will change. A man will have to pursue the woman.
Instead of pursuing just live your life. Find happiness within yourself and have people compliment your happiness.
In Scandinavian and Brazilian cultures, women pursue men. On Valentines Day in Japan, women give the men chocolate. It's not wiring, it's social conditioning.
In Scandinavian and Brazilian cultures, women pursue men. On Valentines Day in Japan, women give the men chocolate. It's not wiring, it's social conditioning.
Maybe, the women in scandinavian and brasil are more foward when it comes to accepting a male. They give clear signals so the male can react to them. Some ladies, give subtle hints of attraction that sometimes are not pickedup or misread by the male.
A woman also puts herself out there when she clearly shows an attraction to a guy since he can reject her. I believe both sexes are afraid of rejection.
I remember when i went to Brasil, the women were more openly flirtatious and friendly if they liked/accepted or were attracted to you.
Maybe, the women in scandinavian and brasil are more foward when it comes to accepting a male. They give clear signals. I remember when i went to Brasil, the women were more openly flirtatious and friendly if they liked/accepted or were attracted to you.
Because they were taught from an early age that if you go after the man you want, someone else will. That's how they're brought up. In this country, young girls are shown fairy tales and think that's how life is.
It's absolutely wiring. Social conventions are what have changed. Read the works of Helen Fisher, PhD who has studied this in depth. You don't have to go with biological wiring, but to claim it doesn't exist is just plain incorrect.
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Why do men still have to pursue?
