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Not that you're doing this at all, but just putting it out there in a general sense...
I had a relationship where I started becoming more inward and distrustful because she would constantly expose private matters with people in a goofy way. It was an intimacy killer.
I would tell her that I felt betrayed because those cute things we joke about and be goofy about are between us. Why did you joke about that and let other people know!? After it kept getting blown off and swept aside, I finally felt nothing and didn't want to joke or have fun with her at all. Lot of resentment. Nothing was special or private between us, it was one big comedy fest.
So goofy women are great, but this is a way it can go south once you're actually in a relationship with them.
And I'm sorry you are sad and think he feels the way he does. Sending good vibes your way!
Not that you're doing this at all, but just putting it out there in a general sense...
I had a relationship where I started becoming more inward and distrustful because she would constantly expose private matters with people in a goofy way. It was an intimacy killer.
I would tell her that I felt betrayed because those cute things we joke about and be goofy about are between us. Why did you joke about that and let other people know!? After it kept getting blown off and swept aside, I finally felt nothing and didn't want to joke or have fun with her at all. Lot of resentment. Nothing was special or private between us, it was one big comedy fest.
So goofy women are great, but this is a way it can go south once you're actually in a relationship with them.
And I'm sorry you are sad and think he feels the way he does. Sending good vibes your way!
If you communicated about this and she didn't get the hint that it wasn't OK, I definitely feel for you. I sometimes overshare intimate things, often in a humor context (heck, I do it here all the time) and I sometimes worry about whether a partner would be ok with it, to the extent I have asked mine if they are ok with me talking about this or that.
If I was told they didn't want me to, I'd stop, though.
If you communicated about this and she didn't get the hint that it wasn't OK, I definitely feel for you. I sometimes overshare intimate things, often in a humor context (heck, I do it here all the time) and I sometimes worry about whether a partner would be ok with it, to the extent I have asked mine if they are ok with me talking about this or that.
If I was told they didn't want me to, I'd stop, though.
I would too, but this was not communicated or even hinted at.
I don't reveal our private "stuff" in my joking, though.
Every girl I have ever dated believes they are "goofy" or are weird in some way shape or from from others and attempts to make me aware so I don't get turned off or take them the wrong way.
Spoilers: they have all just been normal people who worry too much about what other think of them.
If someone is getting turned off by your behavior it's probably nothing to do with humor or "goofiness" it's probably due to how you bring it up or use it.
As in, too much, innproparaite times etc etc
Health (both mental and physical) can change all a persons tolerances towards certain behaviors. So it may also be a factor in your case...
Last edited by rego00123; 01-08-2016 at 03:04 PM..
Goofy isn't the word I'd use for me. I'm snarky, I like to tell funny stories. What I like to do, is present this picture of being wise and level headed and serious and intellectual, and then do something completely ridiculous that one would not really expect, in the spirit of playfulness and levity. I find I must balance myself with humor and self mockery, because I don't want to take myself too seriously or become insufferably egotistical.
I would wear a fancy pants suit, or long skirt, with very serious boots, and rock my glasses like a librarian, and underneath I've got thigh length socks with crazy stripes, or wacky eyeballs all over 'em. They do, however, match. I'm not THAT weird.
I'm also responsible for the deployment of inflatable novelty dolls into the moshpit of a big heavy metal concert festival. Because shenanigans.
You sound just like me only the men attracted to me usually refer to me as "adorable" and are very attracted to my personality. Good thing, too, because looks don't last forever.
JerZ, I just saw this thread. I'm sad I missed it the first time around. I am truly sorry you are dealing with this. I think you are pretty awesome, and I am glad you are able to keep your chin up. You can fart a little bit, I won't tell anyone.
I'm goofy. I have a weird sense of humor, love to laugh, can't get enough of laughter and conversation, I'm sort of off the beaten path I think (sometimes a dry sense of humor, sometimes an outrageous one)...I'm just...goofy.
[snip]
I also like to delve into and dig into the weird and unusual, think up scenarios and "what ifs" and discuss them, etc.
[snip]
I think he really just doesn't like "me"...as a person. I think at first he was fascinated and thought this was what he wanted because it's very much what he's like (when he's ever in a good mood) but I think now he feels I'm a buddy and therefore, can not be sexy.
What do you guys think? Do you think a pretty girl who loves sex and loves to joke around and be a "buddy" is un-sexy?
The answer probably won't change much for my personality as it is what it is, but I am curious because I've been thinking about this all morning now, and it just feels like it fits entirely.
This thread is YEARS old, but seeing this made me sad.
Different folks are drawn to different things, and even at different times in their lives. I think that goes without saying.
Nevertheless, to feel that you were UN-desired because of friendly overtures involving actual friendship... that is just really, really a sad, sad thing. I feel quite strongly about that because there is NOTHING I would love more than a wife or lover who was a funny, laughing, curious FRIEND who enjoyed questions, thoughts, conversations, play... and laughter is friendliness are just solid expressions of those qualities.
This:
Quote:
What do you guys think? Do you think a pretty girl who loves sex and loves to joke around and be a "buddy" is un-sexy?
... is a DREAM woman. DREAM, I'm tellin' ya! She'd have trouble staying dressed because happiness and humor are a solid turn-on -- and that's not even counting just being around one another and enjoying being happy, having someone to enjoy it with you.
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Sending good vibes your way!
