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Good Grief, I have always earned more money than my "Handy" husbands...thus I could always afford to pay for some guy that would fix my "Handy" husbands fix 'em jobs, that always ended up being a disaster.
Unfortunately even today, too many women are so fixated on having a man and expecting a man to provide for them that they do not acquire the skills to earn a decent living, then when the man moves on they are unable to support themselves, does not compute to me, IMHO, today, we all should be able to support ourselves, and , make that our goal, to be self sufficent.
The biggest issue, which is probably what sparked this question, is whether or not woman are willing to put any effort into finding (and keeping) the guy they "want". Usually people with a "I dont need a (wo)man" mentality are those who are down and out on finding one. Lets face it, the healthier your mind, body and soul, the more likely you are to find somebody. Those who use an excuse like I dont need a man are probably pessimistic and will have a hard time finding one which is why they resort to such ridiculous claims.
I think women go through a period in their lives when they are actively searching for a good man to nest with. Sometimes that's the wrong way to go about it. Sometimes, just going out and enjoying life, doing what you like doing, eventually brings a person into your life who turns out being much better than all those jerks you dated while you were 'looking'.
There is little in life that is as bad as being stuck in a bad relationship. We spend a number of our young adult years choosing prospective mates that are either like our parents or the opposite of them, even though we are sure we are not doing this. When we get older we gain more experience in life, become more well rounded, find out who WE are. It is only then that we have, in my opinion, the best chance of matching with someone with whom we are truly compatible.
So many women have kids with a guy they are 'in love' with and it turns out all wrong. Such love seems so very real, but as an emotion it can dissipate easily. Emotions are often based on chemicals in the brain. So, all of a sudden she awakes to find herself with a brood and no longer 'in love', wondering what happened. Or he goes away on business trips and is cheating on her. If you base your relationship on the emotional 'high' you get from each other, there will come a day when the relationship will fail.
A man really has no right to waste a woman's time if he knows she is looking for a life partner and he has insecurity in his finances. She has no business looking for a life partner if she is not grounded regarding earning a steady flow of income.
How many women do you see complaining on these threads about having kids and her husband is cheating or has left her? How many women burden the grandparents with taking care of her kids?
Relationships based on impulse, that are not well thought out are just terribly selfish and irresponsible.
as for the feminists of old - They walk the street late in the evening with their dogs - alone - single and bitter...I guess that their freedom was really worth it...lol.
Oh, you HAVE to be kidding.
You can leave your job and have a life for the rest of the day. You cannot do that with a tyrannical husband.
Your dog is a loyal companion, not the case with many husbands.
I think you should start seeing women as individual people, similar to men, but wrapped in a different body. Women alone are not bitter. That went out in the dark ages where a woman was valued by having a man in her life and her worth had a direct proportion to his wealth.
I think it is you who sounds bitter.
In the old days men were the king of their castle. That is long since gone. We should either change with the times, or if we are too brittle, we break.
Women lack empathy and substance these days. Most of them are incapable of being involved in a monogamous relationship. Money is their only God, and the only thing they answer to. They use men for both money and sex. I hate to paint the whole topic with such a broad brush, but this is really how it is in America anymore.
Yeah. In these days, if you want a good relationship, both parties must bring something of value to the table.
I think women go through a period in their lives when they are actively searching for a good man to nest with. Sometimes that's the wrong way to go about it. Sometimes, just going out and enjoying life, doing what you like doing, eventually brings a person into your life who turns out being much better than all those jerks you dated while you were 'looking'.
There is little in life that is as bad as being stuck in a bad relationship. We spend a number of our young adult years choosing prospective mates that are either like our parents or the opposite of them, even though we are sure we are not doing this. When we get older we gain more experience in life, become more well rounded, find out who WE are. It is only then that we have, in my opinion, the best chance of matching with someone with whom we are truly compatible.
So many women have kids with a guy they are 'in love' with and it turns out all wrong. Such love seems so very real, but as an emotion it can dissipate easily. Emotions are often based on chemicals in the brain. So, all of a sudden she awakes to find herself with a brood and no longer 'in love', wondering what happened. Or he goes away on business trips and is cheating on her. If you base your relationship on the emotional 'high' you get from each other, there will come a day when the relationship will fail.
A man really has no right to waste a woman's time if he knows she is looking for a life partner and he has insecurity in his finances. She has no business looking for a life partner if she is not grounded regarding earning a steady flow of income.
How many women do you see complaining on these threads about having kids and her husband is cheating or has left her? How many women burden the grandparents with taking care of her kids?
Relationships based on impulse, that are not well thought out are just terribly selfish and irresponsible.
I can assure you that those matters are not exclusive to women. There are plenty of men who go through abusive relationships. Its okay to look for a relationship, mostly the reason it seems to fall into your lap is because you are content. Most people who are not happy, or are lonely have trouble finding someone to love because they don't love themselves.
Those impulses you speak of ARE real and unavoidable. I am a firm believer that not everything can be planned, not everything can be analyzed, and love is one of them. If your chemicals in your brain cause you to fall in love with a toilet than more power to you. Sometimes relationships based on impulse succeed. My sister got married at 19 and is in one of the happiest marriages I have ever seen. If your love fades, then it fades. That's why I believe in divorce.
Those impulses you speak of ARE real and unavoidable. I am a firm believer that not everything can be planned, not everything can be analyzed, and love is one of them. If your chemicals in your brain cause you to fall in love with a toilet than more power to you. Sometimes relationships based on impulse succeed. My sister got married at 19 and is in one of the happiest marriages I have ever seen. If your love fades, then it fades. That's why I believe in divorce.
The head over heels in love phenomena lasts for about three years. It is brain chemistry - drugs you create yourself, a natural high. It is not lasting. This, you are capable of finding with many people, most of whom you would not last in a marriage with.
The reason we have such a high divorce rate is lack of logic in choosing a mate and the Hollywood concept of 'love'.
Yes, the impulses are real and unavoidable, and there is nothing to prevent people from acting on them, they are just not the basis of a solid relationship and they fade. I am not saying you cannot build into something better, but there must be some substance there to begin with. If your sister lucked into the right fellow, better for her.
I like guys . But only if they are funny enough to hang out with .
Touche! But put in woman in place of man.
What I find in most all women I have seen in my life is they're expectations in me far out exceeds my expectations in them. I really am only able to handle the good and very little of the bad!
Quote:
Originally Posted by goldengrain
The head over heels in love phenomena lasts for about three years. It is brain chemistry - drugs you create yourself, a natural high. It is not lasting.
I would have to agree with this. 6-24 months is about par for the course for me. No reason why you can't have the high and not put up with the downside.
I would have to agree with this. 6-24 months is about par for the course for me. No reason why you can't have the high and not put up with the downside.
Some people actually are addicted to the endorphines that the body creates while 'in love'. When they lose that giddy feeling of being in love they drop that person and go looking for someone else.
What is that old song - 'I Fell in Love with Love'?
I think we are not taught about the difference between a solid relationship and the brain chemistry high that we mistake for love. It's pretty much great sex and not the serious thing that we think of when we pledge to be together for better or for worse, in sickness . . .
People sometimes do get the 'worse'. People become ill and lose jobs and all sorts of horrid unplanned for things. That pledge to remain a team throughout life should be strong enough to outlast temporary affairs or illness, etc. People should really examine the reliability and intestinal fortitude of the prospective mate - yes, and the financial earning power as well, especially if you intend to have children at some point.
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. But only if they are funny enough to hang out with 
.
