For Men With Children - Paternity Test; Child Not Yours? (girlfriend, women)
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It isn't the child's fault that he was brought into a world where the father chooses to not be there for support.
If I was with a woman who had situation like this, I would help her find the father for child support, but I would support both the child and woman regardless if it was mine or not. The child deserves a father figure, and if I'm the man for the job, I'll do the best damn job I can for the child.
My crazy ex-wife had two kids by someone else while pretending they were mine.
I always suspected, but she always denied it.
I found out for definite after we'd split up and she started using the children as weapons against me.
She really was psychotic then.
The girl was 6, and the boy 5.
Let me tell you, when you are actually in this situation, everything you'd thought of saying and doing changes.
All this pontificating on this thread, "well, if she did that, I'd".................
Absolute crap No matter what you think you might, or should do, it all goes out the window.
She eventually stopped me seeing the kids altogether, that was probably the hardest thing I've experienced in my life so far.
IMHO, if the man finds out the woman has lied about paternity, it should involve some sort of criminal charges.
I tried to sue her through a civil court, but couldn't find a lawyer brave enough to take the case on.
All the rights and power lies with the mother
I also knew a family where 2 of the kids were not the fathers. He raised them and treated them well, but after all the kids were grown, he filed for a divorce and as part of the decree, the courts subtracted his financial support for those 2 kids x18 yrs from the wifes portion of the $$.
I live in a state where the father is asked to sign the birth certificate and acknowledge paternity. Once it is acknowledged, it doesn't matter...the child is yours
I am not sure what I would do. I would think after living and raising a child, it would be difficult, cold, heartless, to just kick them to the curb.
However, it would be tough to take that the child you thought was yours, turns out wasn't. Also tough to find out in that way that your wife was cheating on you.
I can only relate to the flip side. I am helping raise someone else's child. The "father" is not at all involved in my step daughter's life, and doesn't want to be. (She turns 3 next month).
Timing is of the essence. If you suspect the child isn't yours. You should get tested as soon as possible. Marriage license and a Birth Certificate are legal contracts.
When you sign the Birth Certificate. You are basically saying. "I'm going to be responsible for this child". That is how the court sees it.
Quote:
Man jailed even though two separate paternity tests proved he is not the father.
So if you test the child. Tens years down the line. You still are responsible for that child. The woman could find the sperm donor. She could leave you and live with him. You still would have to pay Child Support.
I believe paternity test should be mandatory. Before signing any Birth Certificate.
So if you test the child. Tens years down the line. You still are responsible for that child. The woman could find the sperm donor. She could leave you and live with him. You still would have to pay Child Support.
I believe paternity test should be mandatory. Before signing any Birth Certificate.
Exactly what I tell my nephews, and as for my nieces, I'd be the first to knock them into next week if they tried to ever pull that crap.
You can buy paternity test kits in drugstores for about $25, and then there's a (roughly) $130 fee to have a lab do the analysis. The latest estimates I've seen are that about 2% to 4% of children in the USA have false paternity. It's not a huge problem, but it may well matter to the supposed father, especially in cases of divorce and child support, and other legal issues. Besides, the betrayal by their spouse and the necessary lies afterwards would be very hurtful and perhaps devastating.
As for what someone should do, my take is that if you find out within the first few months after birth, you take action depending on how you feel about the situation. After perhaps a year, I think the bonding with a child makes it no different than an adoption, though you may still be hurt and may still very legitimately pursue a divorce from a cheating, lying spouse.
I guess if you question the paternity of the children it can be a good thing that this test is affordable.
However, there was one comment that stood out to me:
I've had paternity done on all my children. I'm in a good marriage, never divorced, but you never know. I'm not going to be a sucker raising some other dudes kid. No harm in double checking and keeping her honest.
If my husband EVER suggested a paternity test for our children as this guy did, I'd go along with it and then when it came back that they were all 100% his I'd divorce his ass and OWN him.
Obviously his marriage isn't that good if he even has to question the paternity of his children.
The "harm" in double checking is that he is showing he doesn't trust her or their marriage. I really hope his wife wasn't a sucker to stay married to that loser!
+1 I agree - if you don't trust your wife, why the hell are you married for?
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