Marriage....what's the point? (singles, celebrities, school, years)
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You said that, sure, but based on what exactly? To me it just looks like your opinion and that doesn't really hold any weight.
It would definitely be a greater boon for the financial losers out there. If anything the poor, the working class, and the struggling would benefit from marriage the most. That's just not how it's playing out. Again, what's happening is that the upper classes are building that much more wealth. Upper and middle class men are marrying upper and middle class women, so instead of having the $100k+ household income, it's now a 200k+ household income. This in turn propels their savings, portfolios, and futures. As usual the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Marriage is playing out in that arena.
My opinion is based on observation. Nearly all of the guys I know are marrying because of family/social pressure, to make their parents proud and provide them with grandchildren, and because it just seems like the "right time to settle down", not because they just can't live without a mate at the age of 27-30.
And who cares about building wealth as a couple? Because everything legally gets split 50/50, a guy still only controls 50% of that $200k which puts him in the same place he was at as a single guy making $100k. Also, even if a guy making $100k+ marries a woman making $100k+ (which is rare since women often marry up, not down or equal), once she has children, she'll likely work less and be put on the "mommy track" which means her financial contribution won't be nearly as great as it was before; rarely does a woman continue to put in long hours in an attempt to make more money once she becomes a mother. Moreover, what good is it for a guy to have more money if he can't even use it to attract other women? The primary reason guys want money is so that they can buy certain things that will attract many women, but if a guy is already married, none of that matters anyway.
As I said before, I'm still waiting for some legitimately good reasons for a non-loserish guy to get married.
Last edited by bicoastal10; 08-26-2012 at 01:12 PM..
My opinion is based on observation. Nearly all of the guys I know are marrying because of family/social pressure, to make their parents proud and provide them with grandchildren, and because it just seems like the "right time to settle down", not because they just can't live without a mate at the age of 27-30.
Who you or I know really doesn't matter. The people I know, particular my husband's family who have been here since the pilgrims arrived and are comprised of generations of educated, tight familie. They are the essence of "family-oriented" and they thrive for it. It really works for them and it's not about pressure. But, that doesn't matter. What matters are the available stats and if personal experience agrees with the data, great.
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And who cares about building wealth as a couple? Because everything legally gets split 50/50, a guy still only controls 50% of that $200k which puts him in the same place he was at as a single guy making $100k. Besides, what good is it for a guy to have more money if he can't use it to attract other women? The primary reason guys want money is so that they can buy certain things that will attract many attractive women, but if a guy is already married, none of that matters anyway.
As I said before, I'm still waiting for some legitimately good reasons for a non-loserish guy to get married.
The guys earning that money are the least likely to divorce. As far as your soul purpose in life goes, attracting women and what not, you have to realize that not all men are coming from the same space as you. The US is not a homogenous place. We're a mixed bag and values and priorities vary. You may not share the values of others, and you may not understand them, but it shouldn't be so difficult for you to grasp that not all men are you.
Also, keep in mind that what is available to these men may not be something many of you are familiar with or have available to you.
Who you or I know really doesn't matter. The people I know, particular my husband's family who have been here since the pilgrims arrived and are comprised of generations of educated, tight familie. They are the essence of "family-oriented" and they thrive for it. It really works for them and it's not about pressure. But, that doesn't matter. What matters are the available stats and if personal experience agrees with the data, great.
The guys earning that money are the least likely to divorce. As far as your soul purpose in life goes, attracting women and what not, you have to realize that not all men are coming from the same space as you. The US is not a homogenous place. We're a mixed bag and values and priorities vary. You may not share the values of others, and you may not understand them, but it shouldn't be so difficult for you to grasp that not all men are you.
Also, keep in mind that what is available to these men may not be something many of you are familiar with or have available to you.
I realize some guys are more family oriented than others, but the bottom line is that most successful guys have nothing to gain from being married and everything to lose. If a guy is willing to risk everything in order to have a family and keep up appearances, good for him, but he'll still come out the loser if things don't work out.
For me, I'm fine with having a mate, but not if I have to sign a contract saying I'll have to turn over 50%+ of everything I own in the event things don't work out; that's just bad business practices. I'd rather just date and have the option to leave immediately if things go south and avoid getting the courts involved. However, maybe if the marriage laws change sometime in the future, I might reconsider.
Parenting and marriages are the toughest tasks going. The best that everyone can do is to try your best and communicate. Those requirements sound easy but are really hard. The rewards and challenges are great.
On the flips side, not having kids and not being married do avoid the dramas. But whats the point of not being married.
Parenting and marriages are the toughest tasks going. The best that everyone can do is to try your best and communicate. Those requirements sound easy but are really hard. The rewards and challenges are great.
On the flips side, not having kids and not being married do avoid the dramas. But whats the point of not being married.
1. So that you are free to romantically pursue whomever you'd like.
2. So that your money and hard earned possessions are always safe.
3. So that you can do what you want, when you want, and with whomever you want. Not being married allows one to be selfish, which is how most people naturally are anyway.
4. So that you are free of the expectations and time commitments that come with marriage.
I realize some guys are more family oriented than others, but the bottom line is that most successful guys have nothing to gain from being married and everything to lose. If a guy is willing to risk everything in order to have a family and keep up appearances, good for him.
For me, I'm fine with having a mate, but not if I have to sign a contract saying I'll have to turn over 50%+ of everything I own in the event things don't work out; that's just bad business practices. I'd rather just date and have the option to leave immediately if things go south and avoid getting the courts involved. However, maybe if the marriage laws change sometime in the future, I might reconsider.
I don't know why you assume it's always about appearances. Some just value family. Others don't and that's ok. The biggest issue is people having children outside a stable family unit. Outcomes for those kids tend to be poor, unfortunately.
For me, Marriage is a religious thing. God commands marriage for those who want a sexual relationship. Very simple, and God's intention is that it be life long, loving and a sharing of all things. However, if a person is not religious, I don't understand why they would get married except for the aquisition of money or status or both.
For me, Marriage is a religious thing. God commands marriage for those who want a sexual relationship. Very simple, and God's intention is that it be life long, loving and a sharing of all things. However, if a person is not religious, I don't understand why they would get married except for the aquisition of money or status or both.
Not everybody needs to be commanded, although some do. Perhaps the naturally family oriented, as well as those who are good for the sake of being good (no need for threat of punishment) are of a different breed. I consider it as being socially evolved.
Marriage is also a status symbol. People automatically think this person is perhaps a better human being. They would think the unmarried person would sleep around and party or what not.
I realize some guys are more family oriented than others, but the bottom line is that most successful guys have nothing to gain from being married and everything to lose. If a guy is willing to risk everything in order to have a family and keep up appearances, good for him, but he'll still come out the loser if things don't work out.
It's been proven that married men live longer, healthier, happier lives.
You know, it's one thing for you guys to not want to get married - just don't.
But quit spouting off things about marriage that are not true and have no basis in fact.
It just makes you look bad.
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