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You don't need to be married to conclude whether or not marriage benefits men. That's like saying "well, in order to know what will happen if you put your hand on a hot stove for 30 seconds, you need to actually put your hand on a hot stove for 30 seconds." No, I know what will happen if I put my hand on a hot stove for 30 seconds even though I've never done so before.
Of course, some marriages do benefit men, but the vast majority do not and usually end up being a huge money drain. If the average married guy could walk away from his marriage with no ramifications right now, he'd have more money, more free time, could finally go after the chicks he's been checking out for a while now, could do whatever he wants to on weekends with whomever he wants, and would have a much less stressful life.
In fact, I even think about some of my friend's dads and wonder what their lives would be like if they were single now. Some of these guys have been making mid-6 figures since the late 80s/early 90s and I can't help but wonder how great their lives would be if they were single with that much money; they'd be living the life. Instead, however, they are stuck with a wife that they probably don't even find all that sexually attractive anymore.
Just because some people can't choose partners well doesn't mean all of them are miserable.
Both my parents benefit immensely from marriage, the got married very young just out of high school and they both supported each other. My Dad was able to focus on work, my Mom was able to focus on her children (and raised some pretty kick ass kids, if I do say so myself). My Mom now works full time and brings in good money, my Dad makes good money and their two incomes combined allow them to have a nice house on acreage, 2 Harleys, a brand new bass boat, a bit motorhome and a bunch of pretty cool toys. They go on Harley runs a few times a year together and genuinely enjoy each others company. Without one another, they wouldn't be where they are today.
Oh, and they both have activities outside of their marriage that they participate in. My Dad goes camping/fishing and my Mom plays bingo (I know..she's weird.) They have no desire to be together 100% of the time and have their own hobbies that they finance with their own money.
The bolded reminds me of the movie Hall Pass ( Hall Pass (2011) - IMDb ) the women were able to find new guys pretty much immediately, but the men (who, incidentally, thought they were gonna clean up) got nothing. So many men think they can just pick up whatever women they want, and for the most part it's just not true.
My attachment is that my folks expect me to get married and have a kid someday, but at this point in my life, I have absolutely no interest in any of that. The way I'd like to live my life and the way my parents want me to live my life are totally different.
When the time comes, there's a good chance I'll have to find a chick that's into swinging or something because I just don't see myself being with one woman for the next 40+ years. I could love one woman, but love and sex and two totally different things.
I got the same from my parents as well. I didn't follow the traditional rubric, but I wasn't bothered the way you and others seem to be bothered. Maybe you live nearby your folks. If you move far enough away and tell them they won't get to speak to you regularly if they don't cut the crap they'll probably chill about it. Mine did.
As far as the kind of marriage you want goes, if you wanted to marry, there are all kinds of people out there. I think we even have a few resident swingers on this board. I've known swinger and poly-amorous couples. It takes all kinds.
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Originally Posted by Yellow Jacket
and ones who would rather waste their time doing something else on the other side. You forgot that.
People who don't care about marriage aren't all wrapped up in it. It's more than obvious that some of the people on this board have some deep issues as it relates to their idea of marriage. People think that marriage is some kind of independent entity, something that can be shared by anyone if they want. That's not really the case ime. For a married person, or at least I'll just say as a married person, what I have with my husband is distinct from any concepts people here or elsewhere have of marriage. It's not something you or any of the men on this forum can have. It's our trip. And likewise, whatever your trip is, is not something I can ever know. Many here don't grasp that and I don't know if that's about a lack of experience or just plain old dimness.
People who don't care about marriage aren't all wrapped up in it. It's more than obvious that some of the people on this board have some deep issues as it relates to their idea of marriage. People think that marriage is some kind of independent entity, something that can be shared by anyone if they want. That's not really the case ime. For a married person, or at least I'll just say as a married person, what I have with my husband is distinct from any concepts people here or elsewhere have of marriage. It's not something you or any of the men on this forum can have. It's our trip. And likewise, whatever your trip is, is not something I can ever know. Many here don't grasp that and I don't know if that's about a lack of experience or just plain old dimness.
They just don't think about it with their heart but with their mind as a result, you may think that they aren't as wrapped up in it. Which is true to a certain degree.
You don't need to be married to conclude whether or not marriage benefits men. That's like saying "well, in order to know what will happen if you put your hand on a hot stove for 30 seconds, you need to actually put your hand on a hot stove for 30 seconds." No, I know what will happen if I put my hand on a hot stove for 30 seconds even though I've never done so before.
Of course, some marriages do benefit men, but the vast majority do not and usually end up being a huge money drain. If the average married guy could walk away from his marriage with no ramifications right now, he'd have more money, more free time, could finally go after the chicks he's been checking out for a while now, could do whatever he wants to on weekends with whomever he wants, and would have a much less stressful life.
In fact, I even think about some of my friend's dads and wonder what their lives would be like if they were single now. Some of these guys have been making mid-6 figures since the late 80s/early 90s and I can't help but wonder how great their lives would be if they were single with that much money; they'd be living the life. Instead, however, they are stuck with a wife that they probably don't even find all that sexually attractive anymore.
I received not so critical acclaim for an analogy in another thread that made perfect sense to me. With that in mind, I'm going to leave alone your hand on the stove thingy.......
"If the average married guy could walk away from his marriage with no ramifications......" Sounds too much like entering a marriage already believing it won't last. (I'm not of this mindset. Society/statistics can influence my decisions or not. I choose not! I don't care if everybody in America who married got divorced, what does that have to do with me?) And sounds to me like you'd be one to enjoy singlehood, by all means............
You know, it's one thing for you guys to not want to get married - just don't.
But quit spouting off things about marriage that are not true and have no basis in fact.
It just makes you look bad.
Men do not benefit from marriage. We receive the same things if we are In a relationship without signing over our life. Sure a married man may live longer. A caged cat inside a house will live longer than a cat in the streets. That does not mean that most cats would rather be caged. Women beg us to get married yet the majority of them are first to want a divorce. Women claim they are independent but they always want our money. The average man just want sex, food and no nagging and we can get that without signing over our life. Men traditionally get raped in divorce court and women generally gain too much weight after marriage. Why live with that threat of we don't have to.
Men do not benefit from marriage. We receive the same things if we are In a relationship without signing over our life. Sure a married man may live longer. A caged cat inside a house will live longer than a cat in the streets. That does not mean that most cats would rather be caged. Women beg us to get married yet the majority of them are first to want a divorce. Women claim they are independent but they always want our money. The average man just want sex, food and no nagging and we can get that without signing over our life
Well, just tell all those hot, intelligent, funny, wonderful women that are begging, begging, begging you to marry them that you just want sex, food, no nagging and so you are going to be single for the rest of your life. I feel so sorry for all those awesome women that are going to be crying their eyes out tonight!!!
Marriage would not benefit you. It certainly benefits my husband.
Eta:
To answer the rep comment, yes I'm sure. My husband has a person who is entirely devoted to him and that's simply not something everybody deserves. You guys get shyte because you give shyte. That's how it typically goes. I am curious why any wo/man on this forum would be too cowardly to leave his anonymous userid. That's pretty goofy.
Well, just tell all those hot, intelligent, funny, wonderful women that are begging, begging, begging you to marry them that you just want sex, food, no nagging and so you are going to be single for the rest of your life. I feel so sorry for all those awesome women that are going to be crying their eyes out tonight!!!
It's the truth. Ask the average man this and he will say the same. Do a poll on this site for men. Ask then do they want sex, food and no nagging or if they would rather watch lifetime with her, go shopping with her and listen to her talk all day and see what they say. Men don't say this around other women but this is what we say when you are not around
It's the truth. Ask the average man this and he will say the same. Do a poll on this site for men. Ask then do they want sex, food and no nagging or if they would rather watch lifetime with her, go shopping with her and listen to her talk all day and see what they say. Men don't say this around other women but this is what we say when you are not around
My husband rushes home from work everyday to be with me, my son, and our dog. That's the only person whose opinion matters to me and I already know how he feels. If you don't want to get married - then don't. But don't assume that every man on the planet feels the same way that you do. Not all women feel the same way I do. Luckily, I don't care.
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