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Apparently the single life is not all many would like to think it is. Maybe some guys realize this way ahead of others for whom it takes longer?
ScienceDaily (May 30, 2012) — Married people may be happier in the long run than those who aren't married, according to new research by Michigan State University scientists...
... In general, similar-aged participants who did not get married showed a gradual decline in happiness as the years passed...
Who said anything about not getting married at all? The thread is asking why successful guys get married sooner than later; not why do they marry at all. This isn't an issue of getting married while young vs. being single at 70.
Um, first of all I'm gay and I have a boyfriend. When you don't have the ability to legally marry, you start seeing the benefits of it. That's why it really gets my ire up when I hear heteros diss marriage so much. They don't know what the heck they're talking about.
And if you're an introvert, I think your bias is most definitely more in favor of thinking you don't really need someone else to be happy.
But on one point, you are correct. Most introverts probably don't date as much. In general, they go more for quality relationships over quantity.
That may be true, but you and others hijacked the thread into a different direction. (Sorry I don't remember who started it.)
I don't think you fully understand it. A lot of people are very set in their ways long before they hit 65 or 70. There is sort of a fairly short window of opportunity for most people where they are flexible enough yet mature enough for marriage. I'd say that's 25-30 for most people. You start hitting age 35 and you get set in your ways. And has already been said, at that point the dating pool is much smaller, and yet you've become more inflexible as time goes on, making you less willing to date someone who is divorced, had kids from a previous relationship, etc. Obviously, this doesn't apply to everyone, but I think it's naive or downright foolish to think "I'm not like everyone else. I'm the exception". Uh-huh . I thought that in my 20s and early 30s, too.
The thread is about successful guys; not average guys or basement dwellers. Therefore, the guys I'm referring to are the exception and should have a much easier time finding a quality mate at 35, 40, or even 45 than an average guys despite the dating pool getting smaller. Trust me when I tell you that a decent looking 40/45 yr old guy with good social skills making $150k+ a year will have no problems finding a quality mate.
Guys who are likely to be successful probably are also successful with the ladies and know what they are looking for. One of the reasons they are successful in life and with women is they are "big pictue" people and not just "who can I bang right now" people. They fall in love because they are confident in themselves and what they can have (random sex if they want, big deal). Finding a woman who can HELP him be successful happens too. Plus it's good to have someone who wants him for HIM and not his money and position.
The thread is about successful guys; not average guys or basement dwellers. Therefore, the guys I'm referring to are the exception and should have a much easier time finding a quality mate at 35, 40, or even 45 than an average guys despite the dating pool getting smaller. Trust me when I tell you that a decent looking 40/45 yr old guy with good social skills making $150k+ a year will have no problems finding a quality mate.
Yes, but having looks, social skills and money. Why settle for just one, when you can have it all?
Guys who are likely to be successful probably are also successful with the ladies and know what they are looking for. One of the reasons they are successful in life and with women is they are "big pictue" people and not just "who can I bang right now" people. They fall in love because they are confident in themselves and what they can have (random sex if they want, big deal). Finding a woman who can HELP him be successful happens too. Plus it's good to have someone who wants him for HIM and not his money and position.
What?? If you're successful, you'll probably have many more options than average guys which means you don't need to hurry up and lock someone down out of fear.
This is not about being a big picture person or having confidence in themselves; this is about testing out what's on the market for quite some and fully getting it out of one's system before calling it quits and settling down with one woman. This has more to do with basic biological urges than anything else.
The thread is about successful guys; not average guys or basement dwellers. Therefore, the guys I'm referring to are the exception and should have a much easier time finding a quality mate at 35, 40, or even 45 than an average guys despite the dating pool getting smaller. Trust me when I tell you that a decent looking 40/45 yr old guy with good social skills making $150k+ a year will have no problems finding a quality mate.
Trust you why?
Quote:
Originally Posted by midatlantic12
What?? If you're successful, you'll probably have many more options than average guys which means you don't need to hurry up and lock someone down out of fear.
This is not about being a big picture person or having confidence in themselves; this is about testing out what's on the market for quite some and fully getting it out of one's system before calling it quits and settling down with one woman. This has more to do with basic biological urges than anything else.
This might provide some answers for you. It's an interesting read at least.
Some say that your first love is the only true love that you will experience. Fate puts young people together..people who are meant to be together. If one or more of the partners are virgins- even better...sex with a lot of different people (playing the field) only creates baggage and can not be chalked up as useful experience.
There are usually blockages to this kind of real youthful love- Adults with no real vested interest in such relationships will interfere under the guise of "knowing what is best for there son or daughter" - class and money issues some times emerge---What I noticed was these adults who see a young couple in heavenly bliss are simply jealous...cos' they do not have and will never have true love.
I was deeply in love with a young woman when I was 18- When we were together we walked on air...We wanted to marry..BUT her family were very arrogant and extremely rich and disapproved..We ran off together- We were a few thousand miles from home when a black car pulled up and those classic guys in black suits and sun glasses pulled up..They brought us back- Here family were in a panic that we may have gotten married..
Once we were back my love and I moved into my mother's house on the lake...Her father was a conservative senator..my dad was an old Russian immigrant Army Captain who worked as a carpenter. BOTH of our fathers had passed away with the same six month period....so a class and ethnic feud broke out between my mother and her mother.
Her mother wanted control over the situation.. So they made us an offer- To move into the city and take any place we wanted- all expenses would be taken care of..Like fools we agreed. The place was furnished with the best money could buy...Checks arrived in the mail...between the ages of 18 and 23 we lived there together- Her family did everything to under mine our relationship- They would ship her off to Europe leaving me alone- Off to Barbados for holidays- leaving me alone- and she would visit the club- of course I was not invited and would wait for her at the door to pick her up.
Slowly things came apart- The money was suddenly being limited and hardship emerged. We had this exclusive home and no food...I was a country kid and had no idea how to earn a living in the big city. One day I arrived home after doing a musical audition ....The place was empty- not a stick of furniture- my clothes were gone and all that was left was one tooth brush...It was heart breaking.
I really believe that they should have simply left us alone...I pinned over this woman for 30 years- and I wish I had never met her- It effected the rest of my life...point of the story....Do not mess with young love.
I found out that my love had married a banker- then a film producer- then a lawyer- finally she had a couple of daughters..and was happy...I was notified a couple of years ago that she who was full of life and vigor...Had suddenly fallen to the floor and died.................I wept bitterly...after all those years...and I harbored great bitterness all those years...All the people that interfered with our love are all gone....and I who they said was wild with " a death wish" am alive and breathing- go figure.
Like I said- if we were respected everything would have worked out- we would have children- and I am sure she would have lived longer...That is the last time I considered marriage- I never considered formal marriage after that experience- Leave young love alone- Adults- keep your nose out of there.
Successful guys get married sooner because they were probably with the woman before they became successful-so they know the woman is not marrying them for money...no one wants to be used..
I sure didn't. I said that some guys wait a long time as singles (for myriad reasons), while others might be aware sooner that married people tend to be happier than unmarrieds, and go for it.
Lengthening the period of singlehood, apparently doesn't tend to increase happiness or even keep it even.
As the years of singlehood continue, happiness becomes more fleeting.
Just thought you might like to know!
Quote:
Originally Posted by midatlantic12
Who said anything about not getting married at all? The thread is asking why successful guys get married sooner than later; not why do they marry at all. This isn't an issue of getting married while young vs. being single at 70.
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. I thought that in my 20s and early 30s, too.
