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Old 07-11-2012, 08:11 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,217 posts, read 100,764,332 times
Reputation: 40200

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
Loves he says he likes you already. Yep. I like to have a few things sitting on the bathroom and I found them gone......

Nope, it doesn't change who we are, just our habits. I think we work well together and are very accommodating.... I hope to be that way for many years to come......
He sounds like my kind of guy too.

Yep, I said this earlier on another thread - successful relationships require a team approach, and the ability to negotiate. When you've got that, along with true respect for each other, you can go far
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Old 07-11-2012, 08:25 PM
 
Location: NYC
545 posts, read 909,139 times
Reputation: 655
He tried to get me deep into his cosplay, but I didn't have the time, interest or money. He got pissed when I went to period events dressed 50s pinup diesal punk. Oh well his loss.
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Old 07-11-2012, 10:39 PM
 
Location: Earth
3,814 posts, read 6,787,012 times
Reputation: 2590
I think once you live with someone your habits need to blend together.

I have 4 bottles in my bath, having 16 is a crime that will get you onto hoarders!
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Old 07-11-2012, 10:56 PM
 
Location: Viña del Mar, Chile
16,391 posts, read 30,945,615 times
Reputation: 16644
Ha, my ex tried to a lot of things about my personality and general outlook on life. It actually worked for a while.. while I was upset and unhappy in just about every part of my life trying to please her. Then my brother and a buddy of mine smacked some sense into me and I realized how much I had changed over that period of time and dumped her. Now I'm back to my old ways and really happy.
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Old 07-12-2012, 02:08 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,640,756 times
Reputation: 16395
Quote:
Originally Posted by Raena77 View Post
I need to change my bra the under-wire is stabbing me.
My bra is held together with Loctite and a bit of duct tape Mine is stabbing me too, but I can't afford a new one right now until a sale starts.

As for the OP, I could write a book on what my ex told me he wanted to change:

*My weight
*My height
*My tattoos
*My genetic disorder
*My surgery scars
*Basically my entire personality
*My boobs
*The fact that it's very hard for me to do contact or jarring sports because I have pins in my knee and it hurts horribly. He thought I was just 'making up' the pain.
*The food I ate
*The way I made the bed
*The way I cleaned our house
*The way I mowed our lawn
*How I was 'cluttered'. He hated anything on the walls (pictures, paintings etc. and I hate bare walls)
etc. etc. etc. Seriously, I could go on forever. And he told me all of this stuff ALL the time.

I did change though.

I changed my relationship status to single.
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Old 07-12-2012, 03:58 AM
 
Location: Virginia Beach, VA
11,157 posts, read 14,011,782 times
Reputation: 14940
Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
As for the OP, I could write a book on what my ex told me he wanted to change:

*My weight
*My height
*My tattoos
*My genetic disorder
*My surgery scars
*Basically my entire personality
*My boobs
*The fact that it's very hard for me to do contact or jarring sports because I have pins in my knee and it hurts horribly. He thought I was just 'making up' the pain.
*The food I ate
*The way I made the bed
*The way I cleaned our house
*The way I mowed our lawn
*How I was 'cluttered'. He hated anything on the walls (pictures, paintings etc. and I hate bare walls)
etc. etc. etc. Seriously, I could go on forever. And he told me all of this stuff ALL the time.
Sort of makes you wonder why he went out with you in the first place, right? In the interest of full disclosure, maybe he should have just issued this list on your first date so you could either go in informed or bail before you invested much time/effort into it!

The two bold ones are real head scratchers. Contact sports? Unless this clown had a gym bag full of safety equipment stashed away in the closet (which is unlikely because you said he didn't like clutter) why would he want you to play a contact sport anyway? And as for mowing the lawn, I won't get into the "man's job/woman's job" argument of it, but I will say that any man whose girlfriend mows the lawn...has nothing to complain about!

Maybe he just wanted a mean girl?
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:08 AM
 
27,354 posts, read 27,407,146 times
Reputation: 45894
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I think in any good relationship the two partners work to accomodate one another on those little things.

16 bottles in the shower would scream "major clutter" to me, lol, and I would not like it either.

I view this kind of thing as just altering personal habits for the sake of your partners comfort level - not asking them to change WHO they really are
Well I will agree, each could make a minor reasonable change or two to accommodate. But there are too, areas where you have to draw the line. Maybe in the way a person cooks, or their preference of friends... Some even insist you wear a ring (or wont wear one), that has become an issue in some marriages.
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:11 AM
 
35,094 posts, read 51,273,394 times
Reputation: 62669
I introduced organization to Sneakers and the wonders of some technology. When he remembers how to get there he can actually text on his Blackberry now.
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:12 AM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,640,756 times
Reputation: 16395
Quote:
Originally Posted by iknowftbll View Post
Sort of makes you wonder why he went out with you in the first place, right? In the interest of full disclosure, maybe he should have just issued this list on your first date so you could either go in informed or bail before you invested much time/effort into it!

The two bold ones are real head scratchers. Contact sports? Unless this clown had a gym bag full of safety equipment stashed away in the closet (which is unlikely because you said he didn't like clutter) why would he want you to play a contact sport anyway? And as for mowing the lawn, I won't get into the "man's job/woman's job" argument of it, but I will say that any man whose girlfriend mows the lawn...has nothing to complain about!

Maybe he just wanted a mean girl?
He wants a 'perfect' girl. Always has. Always made me feel bad about not being that 'perfect' girl. Now, he's got her. She's petite, blonde, cute and a semi pro tennis player and he didn't hesitate to shove that fact in my face. I wasn't good enough for him, and I was nothing more than a plaything until he got what he really wanted. He came right out and said that to me, after telling me he was embarrassed to be seen with me in public.

Regardless, we got along well (we were friends before we got together) and everything changed around the year 4 marker in our relationship. He played tennis, raquetball (I considered that a full contact sport when I played it with him) and went mountain biking regularly. He changed his core group of friends during that time and became a gym rat who constantly criticised everything I did. I didn't 'measure up' to his new friends girlfriends and he became resentful. I wasn't a hot tennis player (he worked at a tennis pro shop) and it was my fault.

People change, and not always for the better.
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Old 07-12-2012, 04:12 AM
 
1,463 posts, read 3,268,311 times
Reputation: 2828
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pikantari View Post
I got to thinking about this today. I am the kind of person who does not wish to change people. I do believe that if a person thinks they need changing, then they are the decider of that. I do not go into a relationship trying to change anyone.
So, is there anything about you or anything that you do that your SO doesn't like, or would like you to change, and did you/would you? My sweetie has never complained once about anything I do or anything about me....out loud. Not until July 4. He got out of the shower and said, "Do you know that you have 16 bottles of things in the shower?" I had never really thought about it, but he was right, I did. So, we went into the bathroom and I explained to him my order on the use of all of the products.
I do use them all, but I don't suppose they all need to be in there... By the time he got home from work the next day, the number of bottles was down to 8.
Not a biggie, and not anything to get rid of me over, lol. Flip side; he keeps all the food downstairs! He doesn't like things on the kitchen or bathroom counters and I am quite the opposite. You can probably tell by all of my products... I have been living with him since January so I suppose there has been compromise. I keep the things I use a lot upstairs and the surplus stays downstairs. He shops for a million years and it is all in the basement. He has cut back on that.... But about our personalities or selves, so far neither of us has complained..... I do suppose that we must compromise when we live with someone and not everything can be our way all the timeYou? Would you put away some of your shampoo, conditioner, body wash, and facial cleanser for him?
I found out with my first husband that trying to change a person is one of the most difficult, impossible challenges out there. Unless a person realizes "the error of their ways" if in fact they think they even have errors, not a great thing to attempt. Good thing you don't try such a useless task. Yes, I keep a lot of "stuff" in my shower but am fortunate enough to have my very own bathroom. Yes ladies..that is the answer the forbidden territory of your own bathroom where you can have it overflowing with shampoos, conditioners, different body washes, ladies shaving creams that smell good, perfumes, and an overflowing vanity that has every latest nail color on the market!
He on the other hand, has his own bathroom that looks like a military bathroom. Everything is lined up on his shelf over the toilet in perfect order..now if he would just DUST the glass shelves more than once a month, we would both be happy. OH...he vacuums but perhaps only once a month and seeing that he actually SHEDS there are times when it looks like he has a rug down on the floor. I will vacuum his bathroom if we have company coming but basically..its his mess so he is responsible for cleaning it.
Now, if we were to share a bathroom..hmmmmm? I would have a shelf in the shower with some of my 20 bottles of "stuff" on it but only because I was afraid he would knock one of the bottles over and spill it all out or slip on something that might have spilled. Conditioners are slick and when spilled could be an issue. Hopefully this is the only difference you two have as you travel through your relationship and getting to know each other better!
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