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News flash: there are plenty of women who never set foot in a bar. So they wouldn't know who has "options". Some guys don't go to bars, either. It takes money to go to bars regularly, and a lot of students are just scraping by, working their way through school. The bar scene doesn't appeal to everyone.
Ugh...Ruth, you are being obtuse once again, for the sake of arguing with me. A bar was used simply as an example. Its not as if my main point is that bars are excellent places to meet a woman. Not even close.
OK. But I still don't see how women would know a guy has options. In a university environment, say. Like the OP was discussing. No one has any idea who is single, who's taken, who's playing the field just from attending classes, and maybe a couple of activities. It just isn't something that's observable. Outside of a bar, or a frat party.
OK. But I still don't see how women would know a guy has options. In a university environment, say. Like the OP was discussing. No one has any idea who is single, who's taken, who's playing the field just from attending classes, and maybe a couple of activities. It just isn't something that's observable. Outside of a bar, or a frat party.
This.
The only way to find out is to initiate conversation and ask them out.
^^^^ this. What she means is no guy that SHE likes, has asked her out.
No, it just means generally, people aren't that friendly in college. The old cliche of a guy approaching a woman after class and inviting for coffee, or whatever, even just starting a convo, is something that only happens on nostalgia TV, or to the "hot"-looking women. This is the same old male fantasy that women have guys lining up to date them, blah blah. Fantasy is so much more interesting than reality, after all.
No, it just means generally, people aren't that friendly in college. The old cliche of a guy approaching a woman after class and inviting for coffee, or whatever, even just starting a convo, is something that only happens on nostalgia TV, or to the "hot"-looking women. This is the same old male fantasy that women have guys lining up to date them, blah blah. Fantasy is so much more interesting than reality, after all.
I don't see anything in any of your posts that makes you seem bitter. I'm not sure where these guys get the idea that if a woman is single she must be unattractive. There are plenty of single attractive people out there. I'm not a super model, but I'm not ugly either, and yet I don't have millions of offers coming in. I sure wish the reality about dating was what some of these posters seem to think it is - that if you're a woman your online dating inbox must be flooded and you must not be able to go out for a cup of coffee without being approached. That seriously doesn't happen. Most people are just out and about doing their business and even if they saw someone they thought was attractive who is really going to go up and offer their phone number to a stranger?
Also good to know that apparently if a guy does approach me and I'm not interseted then I might be shallow with ridiculously high standards and an over inflated ego. Please.
I decided to respond to this post because of it's realism and authenticity, but there are clearly plenty of ridiculous responses on this thread.
First off (not aimed at you Kiki), if you think you're the first person to post "You sound bitter, this must be why you're single" simply because someone doesn't agree with your viewpoint, then I regret to inform you that you're wrong. You're stupid and cliche and should think harder about something more contributing to say.
Secondly, I agree with kiki about women not getting hit on in public as much, especially the 99% of women who are not super-model on the attractiveness scale. But let's face it: Society today is afraid of confrontation and rejection. The really really hot girls get hit on in public because for a guy to sack up enough to approach a complete stranger and put his entire ego on the line to ask her out he's probably thinking "She has to be pretty darn attractive for me to risk rejection at this level". For women who are somewhat attractive, but not super hot, guys just aren't risking it. Why would they? If a guy decides to ask out a mediocre or average looking woman he has never spoke to before and she rejects him then he's going to feel a lot worse than if the supermodel rejected him. Whether the guy is actually attractive enough to land the average looking woman is irrelevant. In his mind, he probably thinks he can at least land an average looking woman fairly easily. Actually doing it and believing it are two different things.
That's why I really encourage women who are able to make contact with a guy to do so because all it takes is a hint or two. If you're really just an average to fairly attractive woman then do something to get his attention. Compliment him on his shirt as you walk by. Ask him if he knows where the tomatoes are at the grocery store. Do SOMETHING to make that huge step to approach you and ask you out a little easier for him and I think you might be surprised at the results.
As for online dating site inboxes not being full for women....I've seen women's online dating site inboxes....they are super full from tons of guys. Sure there are some that are poor emails from guys just fishing or wanting to hook up, but there are plenty of decent guys just trying to make conversation as well. If you think you have it tough in the dating world as a woman, you have no idea how tough it can be for a man.
As I don't drink and prefer to go places where I can actually hear myself think, I rarely go to bars. However, that is where I met the last guy I dated. It was a Meetup event to go line dancing at a country bar. I only went because a couple of good friends I hadn't seen in awhile were going to be there. I wouldn't say it was a mistake but it definitely went on longer than it should have.
It's been mentioned the best way to meet someone is by going out and doing the things you love. I am not comfortable in bars and it shows. I organize a volunteer event twice a month and now have a group of regulars that come almost every time. Doing this event fills me with so much love and pride and as a result that is where I really shine. And this is where I recently met someone who I was supposed to go out with but he flaked.
No, it just means generally, people aren't that friendly in college. The old cliche of a guy approaching a woman after class and inviting for coffee, or whatever, even just starting a convo, is something that only happens on nostalgia TV, or to the "hot"-looking women. This is the same old male fantasy that women have guys lining up to date them, blah blah. Fantasy is so much more interesting than reality, after all.
Exactly. REAL life isn't like what happens on TV and the movies.
As I don't drink and prefer to go places where I can actually hear myself think, I rarely go to bars. However, that is where I met the last guy I dated. It was a Meetup event to go line dancing at a country bar. I only went because a couple of good friends I hadn't seen in awhile were going to be there. I wouldn't say it was a mistake but it definitely went on longer than it should have.
It's been mentioned the best way to meet someone is by going out and doing the things you love. I am not comfortable in bars and it shows. I organize a volunteer event twice a month and now have a group of regulars that come almost every time. Doing this event fills me with so much love and pride and as a result that is where I really shine. And this is where I recently met someone who I was supposed to go out with but he flaked.
Here's what I love to do:
Play mens league baseball
Play mens league flag football
Play pickup basketball
Work out a the gym
Go to Heavy Metal Concerts
Watch sports at a bar with friends
Not too many women in those areas or activities, and I'm not about to start doing things in my free time that I don't particularly enjoy doing just for a chance at meeting a girl.
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