Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
No I blame the men who took advantage of me for being single.
In life, we all get taken advantage of, in one way or another. You just can't sit there and rot away and blame people the rest of your life. You are 41 years old! Hopefully taco man pulls through for you!
Life isn't fair. It never has been. It never will be. You just have to put on your big girl panties and move on!
If I acted like a little child every time life wasn't fair I would never be able to move on and live my life!
Also, as far as ruling out most men in your age bracket, that isn't helping you either! Do you think you are coming without baggage? No one does. Makes no difference if you've been married or not. Obviously, your baggage is these men who took advantage of you. You are carrying that with you.
You CANNOT know someone well after just a couple of dates or before you've spent a lot of time with them. So when you have sex with someone early in the relationship, it's more risky - simple as that. You just don't know them well, so you don't really know what you're dealing with, how they are going to respond to that intimacy, and what character traits they're bringing to the table.
Not smart in my opinion.
Eaxactly. I can get sex anywhere. Im looking for a relationship, so I would like to get to know someone a bit before just jumping into bed with them. And how long that will take just depends on each circumstance.
No but they live close. I really hope he comes through but time will see.
Well, I would just realize he isn't the last man in the world. Maybe if you to do nothing but become friends and hang out and do things with one another outside of with your parents you can feel socially 'better' about spending time with the opposite sex.
I used to work with a girl, who come to think of it, reminds me a bit of you. She actually had never had a boyfriend and I think when I worked with her she was 42. She was a Christian girl, Southern Baptist like me. She still lived with her parents and acted like a little old church lady.
She had gained quite a bit of weight and then lost a lot of it and started feeling better about herself, and bought some new clothes outside of her turtlenecks with Christmas trees on them and mom jeans and Christmas tree socks and red sweater vest.
She was supposed to go on a date once but her father ended up not letting her.
I kinda felt bad for her. She had nothing but work and church and her parents. Those things are all wonderful, but the part I felt bad about was her future.
Having lost both of my parents in my 20's, I know life is not endless. What will this girl do when she loses her parents? I have no earthly idea. She couldn't even drive when it rained!
Well I haven't seen her in about 3 years, so I don't know if or how her life may have changed...
If someone has sex and doesn't get pregnant I don't care. However I do care when I see welfare moms with multiple babies using a Link Card. If she wanted kids she could have made sure she could afford them so I didn't have to.
I agree with you here. A lot of people in the world agree with you on this particular statement. However, on this board u just seem to be getting grief because u rubbed some folks the wrong way I guess.
I don't know why anyone would ever suggest or even slightly insinuate that it is a good thing to not be responsible when it comes to sex. I dont know why anyone would ever suggest that it's no big deal to have kids when you can't even afford to take care of yourself. While it's true that we live in America, and we can do as we wish, it does not change the fact that it is irresponsible. A kid could drop out of high school at 17 and refuse to look for a job, and instead sit around and watch TV all day and eat pizza. Does he have the right to do that? Of course. Is that smart for him to do? Of course not. No one is trying to control his life or something just because we say we dont agree with how he is living it. Hey, let him be a loser. He will get on welfare too, or say that he has 'nerves' and then get on some sort of disability. That seems to be the ticket around here where I live.
However, such is the times now adays. You can't say anything, because people will tell you they will do what they want, and have the right to do what they want. Which is true. Therefore, you, OP, can say that you have the right to SAY whatever you want, and FEEL whatever you want. Just like the no job having, welfare living, baby making machines do.
Now..back to the topic of not having sex too early when dating......
I am aiming this at women though I suppose this happens to men too. However so many women I know repeat this pattern: they go out with a guy and then they sleep with him. They wait for his call only to find out he was just using her as a booty call. Now I know people who slept together on a first date and got married but am not talking about them. The fact is some people are only interested in sex and not relationships but they lie.
I was thinking of this as I read another thread and it reminded me of a movie I saw long ago. This woman slept with this man and got pregnant. When she had the baby he had married another woman and had nothing to do with her kid. This guy later had kids with his wife while he ignored his child by the other woman.
The fact is I have been used by men with regards to sex and it still angers me that I didn't realize it. It stinks when you see the man you think you are dating marrying someone else. So as a result I have vowed to be celibate until marriage or at least engagement.
If you think withholding sex is going to weed out the men who are just after a "booty call," you're wrong. Men who want that always have plenty of women in their sights, and are perfectly happy to make one or more of them a long-term project. Count on it.
If you think withholding sex is going to weed out the men who are just after a "booty call," you're wrong. Men who want that always have plenty of women in their sights, and are perfectly happy to make one or more of them a long-term project. Count on it.
I don't consider it withholding sex, I consider it getting to know the person before being intimate. I want to meet their friends, go out in public etc. and have some sort of commitment before I take that step. Is it foolproof? No. But it's better than jumping into bed with multiple men hoping one of them might commit.
I can't believe how some people claim to be religious and then look down their noses at large groups of people who don't live their lives the way they think they should. I'm not even religious but I'm pretty sure religion is supposed to be about compassion and caring for the less fortunate. No one should ever go hungry, homeless, or without medical care because they got pregnant. Especially when people like you are the ones who don't want to provide free contraception or teach kids sex education in school. You make it hard for her to get birth control, strip of her right to choose, and then kick her out on the street when she can't pay for the baby YOU made her have.
Nothing I say will ever change your mind, but your attitude is disgusting and it certainly isn't Christian like.
Im all for sex education myself, and giving out birth control. Whatever will help.
However Strawberrry..your comment to the OP kinda floored me here.
Strawberry, you said to the OP " Quote< and then kick her out in the street when she can't pay for the baby YOU made her have" <end Quote>.
Whoa..just whoaaaaa here. Now, you may not agree with the OP, but how is she MAKING anybody have a kid? Look, this is why people start to resent these people. And let me just say it is not only high school kids we are talking about here who are running out getting pregnant left and right.
But, where does personal responsibility come into this? How does the OP MAKE someone have a baby? Condoms were not passed out in school when I was a kid, and we never had sex education, and yet you dont see me with babies all over the place. I have no kids. Nowadays there is more education out available to everyone than there was 20 yrs ago.
This just irks me. It's someone elses fault because a girl/woman gets pregnant?? No, its not that she cant close her damn legs, or the stupid idiot bedding her down cant throw a condom on. Or she cant go get the pill (remember..we are not just talking about high school age people here). No, its everybody elses fault. This is why society is just going down the drain. Absolutely NOBODY wants to take any responsiblity for the way they are living their life. In todays time, there are much more programs and education and stuff out there available on all sorts of things. And heck, some places there ARE condoms being passed out, even on the da-mn streets. But you have to WANT to take advantage of it.
Wow..that comment simply floored me. Unreal. No wonder we are saturated with people who dont want to work, dont want to try to improve their lives and instead just live off the government.
If you think withholding sex is going to weed out the men who are just after a "booty call," you're wrong. Men who want that always have plenty of women in their sights, and are perfectly happy to make one or more of them a long-term project. Count on it.
That's right.
Two can play at the waiting game.
There are plenty of pious and pristine girls who are weeping into their pillows right now because they waited, got the ring, then found out everyone else did as well.
A man who is happy to play the game is a man with a secret.
Be careful what you wish for ladies.
Personally I need a guy waking up in my bed every weekend for months before I'll even contemplate a relationship with him.
I find it's much more satisfying all round to have sex first, then you know if you want a relationship with him at all!
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
