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I'd just like to know why you think the man is not decent if he isn't acquiescing to the woman's wants, but not saying the same thing about the woman not respecting the needs of the man. Not wanting to waste ones time with someone who may be sexually incompatibal seems like a perfectly reasonable position to take. Does the whole men being indecent attack have any basis or is it a purely hypocritical stance. Sounds laughably hypocritical to me.
And the whole "easy" thing. I don't know a man in my generation (millennial) who thinks like that. Trashy women are trashy regardless of the number of people they've had sex with. Holding out on sex does not make you a better human being. It seems to me like it's mainly other women who perpetuate these stereotypes against their own gender.
I'd just like to know why you think the man is not decent if he isn't acquiescing to the woman's wants, but not saying the same thing about the woman not respecting the needs of the man. Not wanting to waste ones time with someone who may be sexually incompatibal seems like a perfectly reasonable position to take. Does the whole men being indecent attack have any basis or is it a purely hypocritical stance. Sounds laughably hypocritical to me.
Isn't fair? Life isn't fair. I'm not going to allow random men to have sex with me because otherwise it just isn't 'fair'.
I have an incredibly high sex drive, but I also have a brain and I know that there are certain risks I'm not willing to take. I'm not willing to get HPV or herpes or other STDs and I'm not willing to risk pregnancy (I was a birth control baby, just fyi, so it does fail here and there) with someone I hardly know.
A decent man waits until his partner wants to have sex, he doesn't put his foot down and say 'ME MAN GIVE ME SEX' because he wants it. Like I said, I get emotionally attached to men I have sex with and casual sex gives me zero satisfaction so why would I continue doing something that in no way pleases me?
My opinions on sex are based on what I've felt in the past, not based on any religion nor do I plan on waiting until marriage. I simply want to wait to have sex with someone I genuinely feel affection for and would like to continue having sex with for a good long time.
How on earth did you interpret me as saying you should have sex with random men? How on earth did you interpret me to being saying you should give men sex because they demand it from you? Honestly, I suspect you didn't really read through what I wrote. More likely, you just sort of skimmed it then shot out your answer.
To clarify: I am not suggesting you sleep with random men or give in to demands for sex. I am suggesting you not write off every man who rejects your sexual rules as not decent, and accept that decent people can disagree.
I'd just like to know why you think the man is not decent if he isn't acquiescing to the woman's wants, but not saying the same thing about the woman not respecting the needs of the man. Not wanting to waste ones time with someone who may be sexually incompatibal seems like a perfectly reasonable position to take. Does the whole men being indecent attack have any basis or is it a purely hypocritical stance. Sounds laughably hypocritical to me.
If a man doesn't want to 'waste his time' with a woman if he's not getting sex right away then he's obviously not the man for me. It's really a non-issue. Maybe it's different because I'm the one getting something shoved inside me and I'd really rather wait until I know the person before that happens. I'm protecting myself from STDs (which can cause death, ya know) and pregnancy which can end in abortion (expensive and not fun from my end) or me more than likely raising a child on my own because men love to run away from responsibility.
So yes, I'm protecting myself. If you don't like it, go find another girl, it really doesn't bother me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
How on earth did you interpret me as saying you should have sex with random men? How on earth did you interpret me to being saying you should give men sex because they demand it from you? Honestly, I suspect you didn't really read through what I wrote. More likely, you just sort of skimmed it then shot out your answer.
To clarify: I am not suggesting you sleep with random men or give in to demands for sex. I am suggesting you not write off every man who rejects your sexual rules as not decent, and accept that decent people can disagree.
You said it 'wasn't fair' that I would want to wait until I'm ready to have sex. It 'isn't fair' to make the man wait to get his rocks off because I'm not emotionally/physically ready to have sex with him. You suggested that I disregard MY feelings and have sex because that's what the man wants. Otherwise, it's 'not fair'. If you don't think it's fair that I want to wait a few weeks until I get to know you, we're obviously not compatible, sexually or otherwise.
That's how I interpreted what you said, if that's not what you meant then I apologize. I don't have 'sexual rules' I have ways that I protect myself from being emotionally and physically hurt. I already have a HUUUUGE distrust of men because of the way they've treated me in the past, why would I put myself out there to be hurt again? No thanks, it's not worth it.
It really is important to be quite selective with your sexual partners, however if there is an undeniable chemistry between me and the person I'm dating, its really hard for me to wait. I don't really like to put a time limit on when I should have sex with a guy, if we happen to click great, if not then my clothes stay on
Im all for sex education myself, and giving out birth control. Whatever will help.
However Strawberrry..your comment to the OP kinda floored me here.
Strawberry, you said to the OP " Quote< and then kick her out in the street when she can't pay for the baby YOU made her have" <end Quote>.
Whoa..just whoaaaaa here. Now, you may not agree with the OP, but how is she MAKING anybody have a kid? Look, this is why people start to resent these people. And let me just say it is not only high school kids we are talking about here who are running out getting pregnant left and right.
But, where does personal responsibility come into this? How does the OP MAKE someone have a baby? Condoms were not passed out in school when I was a kid, and we never had sex education, and yet you dont see me with babies all over the place. I have no kids. Nowadays there is more education out available to everyone than there was 20 yrs ago.
This just irks me. It's someone elses fault because a girl/woman gets pregnant?? No, its not that she cant close her damn legs, or the stupid idiot bedding her down cant throw a condom on. Or she cant go get the pill (remember..we are not just talking about high school age people here). No, its everybody elses fault. This is why society is just going down the drain. Absolutely NOBODY wants to take any responsiblity for the way they are living their life. In todays time, there are much more programs and education and stuff out there available on all sorts of things. And heck, some places there ARE condoms being passed out, even on the da-mn streets. But you have to WANT to take advantage of it.
Wow..that comment simply floored me. Unreal. No wonder we are saturated with people who dont want to work, dont want to try to improve their lives and instead just live off the government.
I just saw this. You're right, I shouldn't have put words into the OP's mouth, but I stand by my comment. In an ideal world people would be responsible. They would use birth control, they would only have children when they had steady stable income, they would live within their means, etc. But this isn't an ideal world and I think some people are majorly lacking in compassion when it comes to this issue. Not everyone who uses or has used assistance in the past is a mooch. Some people need help. They don't have parents who act as role models, their friends are just as off track as they are...I just don't know what your solution is. You can't force people to be responsible. There is this idea from conservative minded people that birth control is wrong (not saying you are against birth control), abortion is wrong...so yes, in that sense I do think some people want to force women to have babies...but when the baby is here and she can't take care of it they want to call her a government mooch when she needs help.
I had great parents who taught me morals and responsibilty. I've never needed government help in my life and I'm thankful for that. I went to college, got on birth control when the time came etc. But not everyone has the advantages I did. What about those kids who are born to single moms with deadbeat dads and their family has been on welfare for generations? They aren't taught birth control or responsibility...they have babies, that's what they do. Look, I'm not saying what they do is right, but I feel like you and the OP look down their noses at those kind of people as inferior bums who mooch off of you, the hard working tax payer. Life is a pile of crap for some people. They have zero advantages and it's not that easy to pull yourself out of crap.
I just saw this. You're right, I shouldn't have put words into the OP's mouth, but I stand by my comment. In an ideal world people would be responsible. They would use birth control, they would only have children when they had steady stable income, they would live within their means, etc. But this isn't an ideal world and I think some people are majorly lacking in compassion when it comes to this issue. Not everyone who uses or has used assistance in the past is a mooch. Some people need help. They don't have parents who act as role models, their friends are just as off track as they are...I just don't know what your solution is. You can't force people to be responsible. There is this idea from conservative minded people that birth control is wrong (not saying you are against birth control), abortion is wrong...so yes, in that sense I do think some people want to force women to have babies...but when the baby is here and she can't take care of it they want to call her a government mooch when she needs help.
I had great parents who taught me morals and responsibilty. I've never needed government help in my life and I'm thankful for that. I went to college, got on birth control when the time came etc. But not everyone has the advantages I did. What about those kids who are born to single moms with deadbeat dads and their family has been on welfare for generations? They aren't taught birth control or responsibility...they have babies, that's what they do. Look, I'm not saying what they do is right, but I feel like you and the OP look down their noses at those kind of people as inferior bums who mooch off of you, the hard working tax payer. Life is a pile of crap for some people. They have zero advantages and it's not that easy to pull yourself out of crap.
That's the problem when they aren't smart enough to prevent conception. They are smart enough to deal with it. Then they try to be the "brave mom" and keep it when they can't handle then go on welfare. I just wish that pregnant women can be smart enough to think. I really can't take care of this baby. How about I abort (if it's still possible) or give it up for adoption. I'm sure most mothers can still keep some kind of track of the child if they so wish. Common sense is not so common it seems.
[quote=JetJockey;26737856[B]]Isn't fair? Life isn't fair. I'm not going to allow random men to have sex with me because otherwise it just isn't 'fair'.[/b]
I have an incredibly high sex drive, but I also have a brain and I know that there are certain risks I'm not willing to take. I'm not willing to get HPV or herpes or other STDs and I'm not willing to risk pregnancy (I was a birth control baby, just fyi, so it does fail here and there) with someone I hardly know.
A decent man waits until his partner wants to have sex, he doesn't put his foot down and say 'ME MAN GIVE ME SEX' because he wants it. Like I said, I get emotionally attached to men I have sex with and casual sex gives me zero satisfaction so why would I continue doing something that in no way pleases me?
My opinions on sex are based on what I've felt in the past, not based on any religion nor do I plan on waiting until marriage. I simply want to wait to have sex with someone I genuinely feel affection for and would like to continue having sex with for a good long time.[/quote]
And ^^ this post right here says it all. WHY some men have a problem with that is beyond me. Are you reading what Jet said? WHY do some men have such an aversion to just getting to KNOW some one for a bit before jumping in the sack? My God you act like it's going to fall off. I love sex, and I also have an adventurous mind. Trust me, NO one EVER had complaints about sex with me. And it's not bragging, I just know how I am. All I want is to spend some time with a guy before we f---k. That doesnt mean it's going to take 6 months or something. Sheesh. Seriously...some of you men are looking like something straight of the wild with no self control, nothing.
Look, for those men who are offended by a woman simply saying I would just like to wait a little longer so we can just find out more about each other, go find someone else. Seriously. I cannot believe someone has a problem with that. I would absolutely have no problem with a guy not wanting to bother with me if he felt that way, because that kind of a man i have zero respect for, and want nothing to do with. If you think for one minute that I would even CARE if some dude didnt want to talk to me because of that, you would be sadly mistaken. Because there ARE men who are more mature than that. I know that for a fact.
So..that is how we all can weed out non compatible people. All of us have the right to live our lives the way we think is best for us. You guys that want to scr-ew before you can even prounounce a woman's last name correctly should hook up with the woman that will spread her legs for you because " y'all went on 2 dates and you made her laugh". Perfect. The rest of us on the other side of the fence can do our thing the way we want. Simple solution.
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Perfect. The rest of us on the other side of the fence can do our thing the way we want. Simple solution.