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It seems as though you and the OP are the exception to my experience...in my experience I've found (anecdotally, and at the risk of sounding unfair) that most women tend to not want to go out with a guy if there is no spark. Maybe they don't like leading someone on? It almost feels like they are less willing to take that chance that something will develop. I.e. if there is no spark you are put into the friend zone right away while they cycle through the guys that they do have that chemistry with for romantic relationships. It's almost like it's chemistry first, then figure out how to build a relationship later. If there's nothing after the chemistry fades, then on to the next guy that has that spark. Guys seem to be more likely to wait it out and see if a lack of initial chemistry develops into something more.
Anecdotally, that has been my experience as well. And to be honest, many of the same men will create that spark in many women. So, for us guys for whom creating that spark is difficult, the best way is to go through a lot of numbers. And the worst way is the slow climb which this guy is apparently trying to pull with the OP.
I wish I could go back and tell myself that every day in the morning from when I was age 20 until today. I could have saved myself a lot of heartbreak...
When I was a lot younger I coveted the gorgeous guys, but that attitude was toxic. I snagged one, but it was disaster. Sure, he looked good on my arm, but he was anything but a good guy. Eventually you realize that just cuz someone's hot, it doesn't mean they're for you.
I'll never understand this idea that people have of "gorgeous = toxic attitude"
I have known tons and tons of guys who are extremely good looking and are very nice with great character. It's really no different than regular guys. Some are good, some are bad. The only difference I will say that I've noticed is good looking dudes tend to be more confident (at least on the outside) and that's why they often do better with women
It seems you really like spending time with this guy so why not give him a few more dates and see what develops? Assuming the idea of kissing him doesn't completely gross you out, I think the spark could develop with time. The older I get and the more I date the more I feel like the spark is just a myth...people expect to meet someone and be completely blown away with lust and I don't think it always happens that way. The times I have been blown away by lust for a guy were the times that that's all there really was - lust. If you meet someone fun and caring that you enjoy talking to and who treats you well then I think later on down the road you CAN have fantastic sex with all the spark even if that person didn't light your world on fire at first sight.
When will this myth die? I know tons of extremely good looking people with great substance
There are really good looking guys who are d@uchebags and there are one who are decent human beings. But even the ones who are decent human beings will tend to play and pump and dump women, at least when they are young. Why? Because they can.
My best friend is a great looking dude. Gals love him even though he's a dork (Asian gals at least do). He's also a great guy. But even he has pumped and dumped and multidated a few women. He got a few women in such knots they sprayed venom about how much of a jerk he was. So, to women, a guy is a jerk if he dumps them or picks another woman over them, even if he is overall a good human being. Because when gals fall for good looking, smooth dudes, they really fall HARD.
There are really good looking guys who are d@uchebags and there are one who are decent human beings. But even the ones who are decent human beings will tend to play and pump and dump women, at least when they are young. Why? Because they can.
My best friend is a great looking dude. Gals love him even though he's a dork (Asian gals at least do). He's also a great guy. But even he has pumped and dumped and multidated a few women. He got a few women in such knots they sprayed venom about how much of a jerk he was. So, to women, a guy is a jerk if he dumps them, even if he is overall a good human being.
This can be true, but I know plenty of great looking guys who are great boyfriends
Often times the people complaining that "hot guys/girls = jerks" are those who simply don't have what it takes to get and keep a partner like that. In my experience, there is zero correlation between looks and quality of character. This is not to say that good looks = better person or everybody should go for the best looking piece of meat around or anything like that (if you don't care about looks or like an unconventional look, then whatever floats your boat), I just don't want to see nonsense posted over and over again.
This can be true, but I know plenty of great looking guys who are great boyfriends
Often times the people complaining that "hot guys/girls = jerks" are those who simply don't have what it takes to get and keep a partner like that. In my experience, there is zero correlation between looks and quality of character. This is not to say that good looks = better person or everybody should go for the best looking piece of meat around or anything like that (if you don't care about looks or like an unconventional look, then whatever floats your boat), I just don't want to see nonsense posted over and over again.
The same guy is currently the best husband in the world. And he will be the best father in the world. But, ten years ago, he was playing women because they were all over him.
For gals, it's a little different because there is a WIDE range of women who can attract many guys. But women tend to associate good looking = jerk, because the same guys tend to attract most women, and they will take advantage of that.
For gals, it's a little different because there is a WIDE range of women who can attract many guys. But women tend to associate good looking = jerk, because the same guys tend to attract most women, and they will take advantage of that.
I don't see how it's different, I would say the top 15 20% of women are extremely attractive to men and vice versa
It can develop. Sometimes the time it takes to develop that chemistry lends to a stronger bond. You're not so blinded by lust.
I prefer a guy who makes me weak in the knees right away, though. I like the excitement.
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