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Married men aren't usually going out and having fun in any kind of way. Drugs, alcohol, sleeping around etc.. They are married so they have to rein things back hence they aren't living dangerously like some single guys are. Of course they are healthier but I doubt happier. Stats can say anything, you know.
I'm not sure that a woman would find a man who is doing such things to be a suitable husband. I actually don't know any men who really do things like that.
Most of my women friends and female relatives owned their own homes as single women. A couple of them have refused to marry the guys they're in LTR's with in order to not have any claims on their assets. A cousin lost her house when her gold-digger husband took her for everything she was worth a few years into the marriage. The old cliche about the wife getting a house she didn't pay for is going the way of the dodo bird as trends change, women get more education than men, and end up "marrying down". Not to mention all the couples with equal earning power.
That's still the exception, and not the norm though.
Why not marry? There are cons and pros of marriage. But here are some of the cons: Marriage kills romance. And why?
Because when two people date, they don't see each other too much and they MAKE time for each other and they miss each other. And so when they meet, they feel good and feel excited. But in marriage,
since people see each other everyday, they forget the fact that it's NOT the same as being together. They forget to make special times for being together. And even if they did, it's not the same. Because they see each other all the time and not only that, they see each other at not their best. Also, if in marriage, they have to fight (there are always problems of some sort that they would have to deal with). And so when they are together, sometimes they experience negative feelings about each other.
Of course there is a security in marriage, someone always there to help (although it's not quite true in all marriages anyways, but if it was true)... I think that having a close best friend could help with support
and therefore, the romance could be still alive through dating and the support could be there through friends/roommates
as far as having children.... it's much easier to raise a child with someone who is compatible in living style, so a best friend or a roommate....
nothing is perfect, there are cons and pros with both situations, so it just depends on what you want from life: stability security support and a quiet life or fulfillment, excitment, stimulation and some measure of support...
Interesting perspective. This is pretty much how i feel. I want a special person in my life, but i'm on the fence about getting married.
What does marriage give you that a committed monogamous long-term relationship doesn't?
Legal protection and social standing. What does a committed monogamous long-term relationship give me that marriage does not?
It's not for everybody. I believe that people do seek mates by nature, but that could be long-term exclusive relationships, not necessarily mating for life. Living with another person or in small groups is useful and safer than being single. As a married person, I do think it's unusual to be contentedly single. Most of the single people I know are dating, hoping to date, or expecting to marry someday. I would not question a person about being single, though--that is just rude.
I want to get married...and this is after I had a disaster of a marriage that ended in lies and cheating! I absolutely think people can have loving fulfilling relationships without being married, but at this point in my life I would not be happy in a long term relationship that didn't end in a marriage. It's just how I'm wired or maybe how I was raised. It makes me angry when people say all married people are miserable, the guys never get to have any fun, they never have sex anymore. That isn't always true. One of my good friends and coworkers has a great marriage. They go out on dates, they go out with their friends on their own, they share responsiblity in raising their kids, sure they fight but overall they are happy. It can be like that. Everyone should do what makes them happy and not worry about what everyone else is doing.
I think so. That was the point of my thread, it was really not meant to be a back and forth arguing banter!
Heh, yeah, I kind of figured.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Virijat
Single life is the way to go. Women are interested in marriage because they have a constant need for a punch bag. Too bad.
Oh, Virijat, why on earth would I want to get married just for that when I can come here and pound your posts into a bloody pulp?
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