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I'm a SAHM now but up til then I always worked a regular job, and let me say, I had WAY more energy when I worked a normal job as opposed to being a SAHM. There is nothing more draining than dealing with kids.
Being tired or stressed is no excuse. If he doesn't want to fulfill his duties as a husband, then you should request an open marriage.
I'm not going to cheat on him. That's a rather insensitive comment in my mind.
Sorry - not trying to sound rude, and I get what you're saying, but I'm NOWHERE near that point yet.
I'm a SAHM now but up til then I always worked a regular job, and let me say, I had WAY more energy when I worked a normal job as opposed to being a SAHM. There is nothing more draining than dealing with kids.
Being tired or stressed is no excuse. If he doesn't want to fulfill his duties as a husband, then you should request an open marriage.
I'm a SAHM now but up til then I always worked a regular job, and let me say, I had WAY more energy when I worked a normal job as opposed to being a SAHM. There is nothing more draining than dealing with kids.
Being tired or stressed is no excuse. If he doesn't want to fulfill his duties as a husband, then you should request an open marriage.
Do you ever stop and think? If someone ever told me that, I'd tell them you don't have to worry about an open marriage because you're about to be single again.
When I worked on a farm, some nights I'd come home DRAINED! Sometimes the only thing on my mind was sleep, I didn't even care if I ate dinner or not. If my wife came at me with the open marriage line after busting my ass all day, it wouldn't be pretty.
... Being tired or stressed is no excuse. If he doesn't want to fulfill his duties as a husband, then you should request an open marriage.
JFC! He's "fulfilling his duties" a few times a week, just not every night. If I told you that I wanted sex every night but my wife only wanted it every OTHER night, would you suggest that I should have an open marriage? Gawd!
And I think that's the thing here, OP. The average couple your age probably has sex weekly or 2x week. If your problem was monthly, I'd suggest a testosterone check, but I don't think the problem is with him as much as it is with you. To expect it daily with work and kids is kind of pie-in-the-sky wishing, imho. Yes, I've been there as late as mid-50s, but not daily, year after year. That's fairly unusual for couples in your stage of life and careers.
I'm older and have had some medical issues over the years that have led to low T. In years past I've taken hormone shots to normalize it, but this past year I quit taking them. This is the first time in my life when I've been the one who had the lesser sex drive. It's let me see married sex in a whole different light! It's not that I don't think my wife is a hottie, and it's not that I don't enjoy sex, but I can take it or leave it right now. Usually I'd just as soon leave it. It's hormones. Fatigue and stress do the same thing.
I'd just try the little things for now. And for gosh sakes, lock that bedroom door! Just lock it every night as a habit.
My libido changed right at about 35 years old. All of the sudden, I just didn't need sex all that often. It's actually kind of a nice change from my teens and 20s when I wanted sex constantly. Now, when I'm in a relationship, I'm good with having sex about 3 times a week, sometimes less. So yeah, I don't think there's anything abnormal about it.
If he doesn't want to fulfill his duties as a husband, then you should request an open marriage.
LOL! Spoken by someone (I pray) who has never been married and probably never will be.
It has nothing to do with not wanting to "fulfill his duties as a husband." It's a hell of a lot more complicated than that with nuances you'd never remotely grasp. The male libido diminishes as they age, women's get stronger. Sure, there are exceptions to this rule, but it's often true.
Most women get their knickers in a twist and moan, "he doesn't want me! He doesn't love me! I'm not sexy anymore!" It has nothing to do with that. For the OP: you're still having sex every couple of days which is more than most people with kids and who have been together 10 years. That probably is no consolation to you, but many women live in no sex marriages because their husband can't get it up or has zero interest. This is very common, just not discussed much here.
I wonder if my sky-high libido lately is just because I finally have more time to myself during the day, and haven't in a while.
I'll be fine, we'll be fine! The low T thing might have some merit, but I won't even worry about that yet, unless I can casually bring it up next time I know he has an appt w/his doctor.
Step 1: Recognize that the libidos of two people rarely match up 100% of the time and be content to take care of yourself on occasion (he's almost certainly been doing this throughout your relationship, so turnabout is fair play now that your libido is higher)
Step 2: Have a frank discussion with him about your sexual needs not being met (emphasizing that this is of considerable import to you) and request an increase in sex or at least some participation on his part when you're handling your own business (which will likely lead to more sex)
For some, its just age. Maybe this doesnt apply to all but I personally know of a few couples, where the guy is on meds and cant take stuff to make him 'desire' his wife/gf. For some its no big deal, if they only have their intimacy once a month, so be it. She isnt going to cheat him, especially if she's at the age where it doesnt matter that much either. The important thing, in their lives, according to what they tell me, is they have each other and what if one were (gawd forbid) one was in a horrible accident and couldnt perform anymore anyway?
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It's not that I don't think my wife is a hottie, and it's not that I don't enjoy sex, but I can take it or leave it right now. Usually I'd just as soon leave it. It's hormones. Fatigue and stress do the same thing.
