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Remember when this thread was about single parents not wanting to date other single parents?
True, thanks for the reminder.
well, the only point we are trying to make is that single parents are human too who have human needs and limitations.
They should feel free to date and (not to date) anybody they choose.
However, if they won't date single moms because they are afraid of the baggages, dramas, they should not attack childless single women who refuse to date them for the exact same reasons. No double standards. bitter attitude makes them more undesirable.
Oh and holidays were fun too. We didn't spent Christmas together because he was with his child and parents. He also couldn't buy me presents yet expected me to buy for his kids.
You just stated the big sticky wicket. Suddenly, their kids and all their milestones are inserted into YOUR life. And these kids will never like you/love you the way they like their real parent, assuming they still see that parent and he/she is involved.
I've often complained about "the Colombian," the aggressive sister of a friend's wife. Sorry, lady, get the message: "You disgust me. Your OWN mother and sister blame you for your divorce because you've got too much testosterone for your own good." After knowing her briefly, I blame her for her divorce. Before she got extra obnoxious, she had a HS grad party for her daughter, where my friend and his wife would also be attending. I bought her a $20 gift certificate at B&N to avoid showing up empty handed. I didn't even want to be there and made damn sure I never again went to ANY event where she, or her kids, were present. I thought of how many groceries that $20 could have bought.
Basically, a single person looks at their friends who married when both parties were childless and are still together, and views that as "the norm."
You just stated the big sticky wicket. Suddenly, their kids and all their milestones are inserted into YOUR life. And these kids will never like you/love you the way they like their real parent, assuming they still see that parent and he/she is involved.
Basically, a single person looks at their friends who married when both parties were childless and are still together, and views that as "the norm."
Well to be fair, the person who decides to date someone with children makes that decision to take this on, to have kids inserted into their lives...you make it sound like it is a passive process.
Well to be fair, the person who decides to date someone with children makes that decision to take this on, to have kids inserted into their lives...you make it sound like it is a passive process.
No. It's a very ACTIVE mental process - yay or nay.
No. It's a very ACTIVE mental process - yay or nay.
Well I'm glad you feel that way.
I've known people who do date/marry single parents who don't realistically think of the challenges of dating a single parent, and do seem somewhat passive in the process.
I've known people who do date/marry single parents who don't realistically think of the challenges of dating a single parent, and do seem somewhat passive in the process.
Do they have kids?
While I can't check the stats, Idon'tdateyou indicated that the marriage failure rate for a never married childfree with a previously married single parent is among the highest. I believe it.
Sidebar: another thing is that, theoretically, in getting to know a single parent, one can assess which party is at fault in causing the divorce. If one knows the person they are seeing is at fault, why would they want to stick around, even for THAT person, let alone the kids?
I can't speak for Maryland, but in Phoenix, as a hot single mom, you would have your pick of thousands of younger guys with no kids. The ratio is horrific for guys.
If you single moms think that guys with no kids walk around going "now where can I meet a lady and her kid to support"....you'd be sadly mistaken. They date older single moms when they have no other attractive options. They aren't in demand. Or their dating market is horrible.
So when you met this younger guy....didn't you stop and think for a few minutes, "now why in the hell isnt he dating a hot 20 something girl with no kids .....??"
Well I can only speak for my much younger guy, but he had a young first wife that was a drug addict. He was more mature than his peers. He had always dated older women prior to his short marriage, so he returned to his roots with me. We have been together almost 6 years so we must be doing something right.
My ex was slightly older than I, and had the maturity of a toddler. Age really does not mean squat. I also look much younger and very few people know I am older than my bf.
While I can't check the stats, Idon'tdateyou indicated that the marriage failure rate for a never married childfree with a previously married single parent is among the highest. I believe it.
Sidebar: another thing is that, theoretically, in getting to know a single parent, one can assess which party is at fault in causing the divorce. If one knows the person they are seeing is at fault, why would they want to stick around, even for THAT person, let alone the kids?
A person who already has kids is something different marrying someone in that situation. I guess I was saying that those without kids are sometimes naive about the challenges of being with someone who already has kids.
As far as your sidebar...my own thought is that people get too heavily invested/blinded in the relationship to see the faults of the partner. The person's ex-wife/ex-husband is frequently demonized.
As far as your sidebar...my own thought is that people get too heavily invested/blinded in the relationship to see the faults of the partner. The person's ex-wife/ex-husband is frequently demonized.
The person in this case who was doing the chasing was demonized by her own mother and sister for being a steamroller over her soft spoken ex-husband. Apparently, he wasn't THAT soft, because he got her to produce 3 children. Moreover, everybody at her work hated her. Then, on top of that, someone whose behavior is more alpha doesn't want to be chased by, or involved with, another alpha type. Instead, I want her to go to Costco and buy batteries. This is a woman who has not been on a date since getting divorced. There is no blinding. Men who are blinded are stupid, and need to do a "quick study."
Last edited by robertpolyglot; 01-18-2013 at 11:34 AM..
Robert, completely on the mark. When childless people date parents they do expect the childless to wrap their lives around the parent's kids and this isn't fair. I'm not even talking marriage always but even dating. I have been called selfish because I don't want to spend money on another woman's kids but they aren't mine and I'd rather spend my money on those I want to.
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