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Old 01-21-2013, 06:02 AM
 
Location: Canada
11,829 posts, read 12,089,447 times
Reputation: 30595

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Quote:
Originally Posted by LBomb View Post
I stopped feeling sorry for them long ago. Its a process in which the woman allows the man to cut her off from her friends and family little by little til shes almost completely isolated. Now she relies almost completely on him. She thinks its because "shes special" to him. At that point he can start being nasty to her since she now clings to the few good things he does which turns into " you dont know him like i do" or something similar. If you let a man run your life with such absolute authority you deserve it. I dont buy that excuse that shes afraid to call the cops because he might kill. The police would be ready to beat him down and the law would most likely hammer him. Just look what happens to men who are falsely accused..
Your ignorance is astounding.

It's not a matter of "allow", it's manipulation by a man to slowly brainwash/control her and cut her off from friends and family, you know, the people who might get in the way of his plan to use and abuse her.
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Old 01-21-2013, 07:52 AM
 
4,828 posts, read 4,298,773 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012 View Post
Girls in that age group prefer a man who can provide emotional highs or lows, rather than a guy who can not provide any emotional stimulation. Thus a bad boy who mistreats them, can provide them with emotional lows, unlike a nice guy who provides no emotional reaction at all. The end.
This is what I've been saying for weeks. The emotional roller coaster causes them to swoon. No emotional stimulation, and most women get bored. No emotional stimulation makes them feel that their man is not interested in him. Give her a guy that can stimulate her emotions and she'll seek and crave more and more of him. It's sad, but seems to be a trend that I'm seeing.
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Old 01-21-2013, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Chicago, IL
2,186 posts, read 2,928,857 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LBomb View Post
I stopped feeling sorry for them long ago.
Having sympathy for them is a normal, healthy human reaction. Trying to rescue them when they don't want to be rescued, so you can make them your girlfriend, is not. Some fail to see the difference.
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:30 PM
 
491 posts, read 571,431 times
Reputation: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
Your ignorance is astounding.

It's not a matter of "allow", it's manipulation by a man to slowly brainwash/control her and cut her off from friends and family, you know, the people who might get in the way of his plan to use and abuse her.
She didnt have to cut them off. She is an adult who is capable of rational thinking. The signs are there and Im sure most of them know what an abusive relationship is orb notice creepy behavior such as, I dunno, telling you to stop talking to friends and family. If you choose to ignore them because you are "blinded by love" then thats up to you. Free will. Use it
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Old 01-21-2013, 12:33 PM
 
491 posts, read 571,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Plzeň View Post
Having sympathy for them is a normal, healthy human reaction. Trying to rescue them when they don't want to be rescued, so you can make them your girlfriend, is not. Some fail to see the difference.
Thats a better way to phrase it but Ive yet to meet one who listened after the first abusive incident so thats what affects my judgement.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:01 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,686,902 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LBomb View Post
She didnt have to cut them off. She is an adult who is capable of rational thinking. The signs are there and Im sure most of them know what an abusive relationship is orb notice creepy behavior such as, I dunno, telling you to stop talking to friends and family. If you choose to ignore them because you are "blinded by love" then thats up to you. Free will. Use it
I was of this exact same train of thought until I realized it was happening to me.
They say if you throw a frog in a boiling pot of water he'll fight to get out, but if you put him in a cold pot of water and slowly turn up the heat he'll gladly boil to death.

Sometimes you don't even realize you're in an abusive relationship. I left mine, and I didn't realize how bad it was until I left, and considering it was really the only relationship I had, I had nothing else to compare it to.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:06 PM
 
491 posts, read 571,431 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JetJockey View Post
I was of this exact same train of thought until I realized it was happening to me.
They say if you throw a frog in a boiling pot of water he'll fight to get out, but if you put him in a cold pot of water and slowly turn up the heat he'll gladly boil to death.

Sometimes you don't even realize you're in an abusive relationship. I left mine, and I didn't realize how bad it was until I left, and considering it was really the only relationship I had, I had nothing else to compare it to.
The boiling frog reference is good. Thing is you didnt justify the abuse and left when it added up.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:07 PM
 
Location: Canada
11,829 posts, read 12,089,447 times
Reputation: 30595
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBomb View Post
She didnt have to cut them off. She is an adult who is capable of rational thinking. The signs are there and Im sure most of them know what an abusive relationship is orb notice creepy behavior such as, I dunno, telling you to stop talking to friends and family. If you choose to ignore them because you are "blinded by love" then thats up to you. Free will. Use it
But an abuser doesn't announce that you should stop talking to your friends and family...they find ways to manipulate you out of contact with them. Abuse isn't up-front and direct, it's secretive and insidious and occurs over time.

You've obviously never experienced this and be glad for that it, but your comments are an insult to anyone who has ever been a victim of abuse.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Up in the air
19,112 posts, read 30,686,902 times
Reputation: 16397
Quote:
Originally Posted by LBomb View Post
The boiling frog reference is good. Thing is you didnt justify the abuse and left when it added up.
It took me at least 2 years to figure it out. It's not like I woke up one day and thought 'ya know...I'm being emotionally abused and I should leave.' He had me convinced that my friends were out to get me and that I'd be better off without them, that my family was full of users and that he was the only one who truly loved me.

It wasn't easy leaving and I've been single ever since. Big time trust issues.
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Old 01-21-2013, 01:30 PM
 
491 posts, read 571,431 times
Reputation: 180
Quote:
Originally Posted by Liberty2011 View Post
But an abuser doesn't announce that you should stop talking to your friends and family...they find ways to manipulate you out of contact with them. Abuse isn't up-front and direct, it's secretive and insidious and occurs over time.

You've obviously never experienced this and be glad for that it, but your comments are an insult to anyone who has ever been a victim of abuse.
On the contrary. I have. She hit me. She was a spoiled brat that threatened to kill herself multiple times and even spent valentines day with someone else. I knew what she was i just chose to ignore it like a dumbass. I dont feel sorry for myself since i chose my fate. Hence the divorce after she hit me. So yes i know how it works. I didnt use logic and paid for it.
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