Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully
Well I do know that if your girlfriend or wife is out having threeways with random army guys you are a cuckold.
Nope. Not under any definition I know of. The woman isn't committing adultery since it is an open or poly relationship. Nor would the definition of a guy getting off on, or being degraded by, their partner sleeping with other men apply since we don't know anything about the other male partners of the woman involved.
Nope. Not under any definition I know of. The woman isn't committing adultery since it is an open or poly relationship. Nor would the definition of a guy getting off on, or being degraded by, their partner sleeping with other men apply since we don't know anything about the other male partners of the woman involved.
You can call it what you want but it ain't normal.
Perhaps that is why being a "norm" is usually a derisive term.
It's not my thing (cuckholding), but its some people's, and this isn't that... If it's all above board and between consenting adults, its all good.
Derisive term to people who are cool with their wife or girlfriend going out and having threesomes with random army guys. Normal people aren't using guys like that to gage their moral compass.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,989,150 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Uncle Bully
Derisive term to people who are cool with their wife or girlfriend going out and having threesomes with random army guys. Normal people aren't using guys like that to gage their moral compass.
Did I say I was cool with it in my relationship? Nope. Never did. Way to make things up! But I'm cool with what other consenting adults decide to do for themselves. It is their relationship and their lives, and their business.
People that besmirch other consulting adults for what they do in their relationships don't really have much of a moral compass worth paying attention to, IMO. It's up there with "moral" people that try to dictate what consenting adults can love one another, or get married to one another.
Did I say I was cool with it in my relationship? Nope. Never did. Way to make things up! But I'm cool with what other consenting adults decide to do for themselves. It is their relationship and their lives, and their business.
People that besmirch other consulting adults for what they do in their relationships don't really have much of a moral compass worth paying attention to, IMO. It's up there with "moral" people that try to dictate what consenting adults can love one another, or get married to one another.
Derisive term to people who are cool with their wife or girlfriend going out and having threesomes with random army guys. Normal people aren't using guys like that to gage their moral compass.
Additional to Timberline's statement...
I don't go around calibrating my moral compass to what most people or doing, or troubling my mind over whether something is "normal" in deciding if it is right or wrong.
"Normal" people have some few partners, bond with one, marry, have kids, live together, maybe divorce and maybe remarry, but do something like serial monogamy their whole lives with the golden standard being "death do us part." But a lot of people don't do that. And many don't want to. I don't think any kind of a moral value needs to be assigned to whatever choice, so long as there is consent, safety, and no harm done.
And the great majority of sex that happens among American people, is NOT with the intent on the parts of the participants, of reproduction. Since modern medicine and prophylactics have given us some freedom from strictly biological constraints, most people do it because they want to and it feels good and makes them happy.
The woman I spoke of, she presently has 2 boyfriends, one more committed than the other. The more committed of the two, she is HIS secondary partner, he also has a wife. She is friends but not romantic or sex partners, with the wife. She and that man have a Master/slave relationship. She had to text him and ask permission to engage in a hookup. He asked her some safety questions, set up a safe call, and then granted her request.
None of this is normal, and it would be wrong for many people, but I don't believe that makes it objectively or morally wrong for anyone ever.
My point was, she chose her hookups based mainly on their appearances. She and I have talked, and I've stated that I have no sexual interest or desire for anyone until I've had a conversation with them and feel an intellectual interest in their personality. She said, "not me." But I kind of like how people can be diverse in their tastes, as it means more of us have at least some chance at finding what we want.
If everyone were only varying degrees of better or worse on a single scale of being judged in one and only one meaningful way, that whole "just like everybody else--but better!" thing...that stat some folks love to trot out about 80/20% might be a lot more true than it actually is, ya know?
Another wacky story from my wacky life here, I went to a birthday party of a friend at the club, with my boyfriend. It turned into kind of an orgy, and the whole swinger vibe is very much NOT my scene. There was a beautiful woman who invited anyone to touch her while she was engaging in certain activities, and my boyfriend was getting in on that, and invited me to participate. I was intensely uncomfortable and declined. I felt like a total stick in the mud, the only person there keeping her clothes on and not getting on down. Very nearly a prude, even! I thought about it later, wondering why I was so uncomfortable, and I could only conclude that a big part of it was how I did not even know that woman. Had never so much as spoken to her, did not even know her name. With no connection of that kind, I feel no desire.
(I don't know if I am crossing lines here, if this stuff gets deleted, I'll understand. I'm trying to not get graphic.)
I just thought of it as kind of funny that a lot of "normal" people would consider my lifestyle and choices to be utterly libertine, but I certainly do have my limits and they're a lot more restrictive than those of some people I know.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
