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OK, kid--you don't have time for us, we don't have time for you.
NEXT!
I never said that; "I don't have time for the people on this thread". Quite the contrary. I greatly appreciate the people on this thread, taking the time to share what they have.
I simply don't see the point in going into great detail, about something only distantly connected to the topic at hand.
If you can not elaborate on why you are so stuck on one person then we can not adequately help you. Your looking for solutions to a problem that does not exist. There is not much advice we can give you if your not willing to expand.
Please! Please! Please! Take the advice that has been given to you and seek help, whether from someone in the church if your religious, a guidance counselor, a therapist, someone trained in social work!
If you can not elaborate on why you are so stuck on one person then we can not adequately help you. Your looking for solutions to a problem that does not exist. There is not much advice we can give you if your not willing to expand.
Please! Please! Please! Take the advice that has been given to you and seek help, whether from someone in the church if your religious, a guidance counselor, a therapist, someone trained in social work!
How would elaborating on something off topic help me obtain a solution to my problem??? I have provided all of the pertinent information related to this topic.
I remain confident that there are individuals here, who are willing to share meaningful advice.
I never said that; "I don't have time for the people on this thread". Quite the contrary. I greatly appreciate the people on this thread, taking the time to share what they have.
I simply don't see the point in going into great detail, about something only distantly connected to the topic at hand.
Yet again missing the point.
In answer to why you said you would never date or even marry another woman if you can't have this one later down the line you said, "there are a whole set of serious and valid reasons as to why I feel this way. Reasons that I don't have the time to elaborate on."
So Ruth said if you don't have time for the people on this thread how can you expect them to have time for you.
It's disingenuous for you to claim you never said you don't have time for people on this thread when that is what your statement implied, see?
It's disingenuous for you to claim you never said you don't have time for people on this thread when that is what your statement implied, see?
I certainly did not intend for it to be interpreted that way. I will repeat: "I greatly appreciate people taking the time to read my question, and give it consideration."
Animotion had an 80's song that seems apt for this thread.
Seriously, what is the guiding directive here? Did you have some vision / dream she bore your child who ends up saving the world?
This is an obsession best channeled and redirected towards, say, making yourself into whatever you know she finds appealing in character qualities and hope that should you ever meet at a 10 year reunion perhaps she will have matured (and hopefully you will have then too) and perhaps a dialogue might be rekindled. Whatever it is, don't push it or I see a restraining order coming your way.
See, the Hollywoodized 'Big Fish' dreams you may be entertaining "Sandra Templeton, I Love You and I WILL MARRY you!" are doing you a disservice. If someone is not interested and, as per your description, finds you somehow reprehensible for even having a 'romantic interest' in her WHY would you continue to pine needlessly? Seek counseling / therapy.
This type of thinking on your part, that, she's your 'other half to complete you', or fits some idealized internalized view you have projected onto her is very unhealthy. You don't even know if she is seeing someone from what I did read of this thread.
Why the obsession? If a women makes faces of disgust everytime you are in their presence I would do everything I can to remove myself from them, and if I can not avoid I would just smile and be on my way at the first opportunity.
GET over it already or send her an editted version of the BIG FISH trailer dubbed with you saying her name followed by the line "I Love You and I WILL MARRY YOU", and then you can at least have some closure as the restraining order gets issued and hopefully you then are forced to have a realistic conversation with counselors or guardians. Also if the obsession is somehow caught up in religious visions of say, her being the 'perfect' woman and you'll never find another, guess what? It's a myth as there is no such thing - just as there is no 'perfect man'.
Or perhaps if your school has a "Talent Show" sing this classic song by Pat Benatar
I think I'd like to know why you became obsessed with a girl who treated you rudely in front of your classmates before you ever developed a crush on her.
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I think I'd like to know why you became obsessed with a girl who treated you rudely in front of your classmates before you ever developed a crush on her.
Apparently he thinks asking that is off topic and not pertinent information
Jay, since this thread is just about a carbon copy of the other you made on the same subject, I'd say there is really no new ground or info to be uncovered here. Continue to deny the reality if you want, but the truth is right here starring you in the face if you'll be brave enough to see it.
Some of the best comments and advice you have received came from Ulysses61 on that other thread.
Please reread them and take them to heart.
"I understand your feelings and that you think right now you'll never get over this classmate. And you know what? That may literally be true. You may be an old man in your rocking chair in 60 years still thinking about her and remembering all of the past. That's OK, as long as you live a great life in those intervening 60 years, as I'm sure you will.
Rejection hurts but as you grow older and mature, you'll realize rejection from a woman is not a big deal in the scheme of things. Losing a job when you have kids to support, getting cancer, being broadsided and put in a wheelchair are FAR more serious. I'm sure intellectually you realize this. This is a pin prick in comparison.
Let's get to the bottom line: this girl that you are obsessed with doesn't reciprocate.
It doesn't matter why (though I'm sure you'll obsess over that too).
You're not going to get her to change her mind and you're wasting your time to think otherwise.
She's not going to suddenly wake up tomorrow and fall in love with you or find you attractive.
It's a lost cause. You're in the prime of your life and will someday find a woman to return your feelings.
That may be small consolation now but ask yourself this: why are you spending time on a hopelessly lost cause? Immediately excise her from your mind, however difficult this will be. The minute you think of her, think of something else. Train your mind to think this way.
Stop fantasizing about her.
Replace her with someone else, either real or imagined. This will be tough for awhile, but will gradually get easier."
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