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OP, please don't listen to Caddy's "be a dominant male" nonsense. Your wife sounds like she has some mental health issues, not some dominant/weak control issues. This isn't about being The Man. It's about not tolerating abuse and getting the help your wife needs.
When you let a woman walk all over you, you become weak in her eyes. Weakness is not attractive to women. When a woman is not attracted to her "life long" mate, she will be unhappy and act out. Some more than others. Sorry, but that's the nature of it.
OP, please don't listen to Caddy's "be a dominant male" nonsense. Your wife sounds like she has some mental health issues, not some dominant/weak control issues. This isn't about being The Man. It's about not tolerating abuse and getting the help your wife needs.
She has no respect for the OP. The OP is a pathetic male. She messes up and he is the one that apologizes and gets her flowers. What kind of person apologizes for stuff they didn't do? What kind of man buys flowers when she is at fault? That sounds like a weak person to me. How can his wife respect him if he can't respect himself? If he wants the relationship to succeed, his only shot is to do a 180 on his behavior since no woman is attracted to weak men. He has to keep her behavior under check or it will get worse from here.
She has no respect for the OP. The OP is a pathetic male. She messes up and he is the one that apologizes and gets her flowers. What kind of person apologizes for stuff they didn't do? What kind of man buys flowers when she is at fault? That sounds like a weak person to me. How can his wife respect him if he can't respect himself? If he wants the relationship to succeed, his only shot is to do a 180 on his behavior since no woman is attracted to weak men. He has to keep her behavior under check or it will get worse from here.
AMEN! People on this forum want him to talk to her and go to counseling when all it really takes is a some strong will to not put up with her BS, stop trying to please her all the time, LEADING LIKE A MAN, and giving her a solid rogering when she finally starts feeling attraction to him again.
This isn't about weakness. It's not about an emasculated male. It's about abuse and possible mental illness.
Emasculated = weakness
Yes, she is a manipulative little problem, though I firmly believe if he shook the chains of emasculation, things would change quickly.
Women will ALWAYS push the boundaries of their men. If they break your boundaries, this is what you end up with. If they cannot break you, and you stay an unwavering pillar of strength, but that provides love, affection, and good sex as well, in non weak fashion, you have a happy wife and marriage
She has no respect for the OP. The OP is a pathetic male. She messes up and he is the one that apologizes and gets her flowers. What kind of person apologizes for stuff they didn't do? What kind of man buys flowers when she is at fault? That sounds like a weak person to me. How can his wife respect him if he can't respect himself? If he wants the relationship to succeed, his only shot is to do a 180 on his behavior since no woman is attracted to weak men. He has to keep her behavior under check or it will get worse from here.
He is NOT a pathetic male...I actually understand that he's just trying to keep the peace. Unfortunately, she changes on a whim. And while she may FEEL he is weak, I don't believe it's the case. Additionally, we are assuming that this is his problem. I don't believe it is. A change in his behavior may change things for a short while, but not forever b/c it's HER problem.
She is a manipulative and abusive brat...ok...we probably all agree on that. But lets say a man acts this same way...is it because his female is weak? Maybe only in some cases but does that negate his abusiveness? I don't think so. If a woman "stood up" to a guy like that, he'd probably beat the crap out of her. This woman has other things going on with her...it's not just a matter of "losing attraction" or "not having respect". It is SOLELY her issue and her lack of control.
I know you're upset that the OP is apologizing for her behavior but it's not a matter of weakness, IMO. He's trying to calm her down so they can have a rational discussion. Your ideas on this matter are well known...we know you give in for no woman...but the OP loves his wife and wants to have a better relationship. He's trying everything to do so. Guess what? It's not working because she's not rational. So I don't think your theory works here.
He is NOT a pathetic male...I actually understand that he's just trying to keep the peace. Unfortunately, she changes on a whim. And while she may FEEL he is weak, I don't believe it's the case. Additionally, we are assuming that this is his problem. I don't believe it is. A change in his behavior may change things for a short while, but not forever b/c it's HER problem.
She is a manipulative and abusive brat...ok...we probably all agree on that. But lets say a man acts this same way...is it because his female is weak? Maybe only in some cases but does that negate his abusiveness? I don't think so. If a woman "stood up" to a guy like that, he'd probably beat the crap out of her. This woman has other things going on with her...it's not just a matter of "losing attraction" or "not having respect". It is SOLELY her issue and her lack of control.
I know you're upset that the OP is apologizing for her behavior but it's not a matter of weakness, IMO. He's trying to calm her down so they can have a rational discussion. Your ideas on this matter are well known...we know you give in for no woman...but the OP loves his wife and wants to have a better relationship. He's trying everything to do so. Guess what? It's not working because she's not rational. So I don't think your theory works here.
It's a combination. This guy is weak. He is in the right and comes back with flowers and an apology. That's weak. No one is denying this girl has issues, but him being a teenage tantrum pleaser type is only making the issues worse.
AMEN! People on this forum want him to talk to her and go to counseling when all it really takes is a some strong will to not put up with her BS, stop trying to please her all the time, LEADING LIKE A MAN, and giving her a solid rogering when she finally starts feeling attraction to him again.
not sure how many LTR you have been in but changing yourself for someone rarely works in anyone's favor. all it will do is exacerbate a situation that in all likelihood should have ended long ago.
your theory implies that OP was a "leading man" and "non apologist" to being with and somehow changed once marriage entered the picture.
not sure how many LTR you have been in but changing yourself for someone rarely works in anyone's favor. all it will do is exacerbate a situation that in all likelihood should have ended long ago.
your theory implies that OP was a "leading man" and "non apologist" to being with and somehow changed once marriage entered the picture.
that's one big assumption.
I've been in three that were over a year, but yeah, never really changed who I was, but I have changed how I ACTED in the relationship to beneficial results.
I'm assuming that he wasn't as weak as he is acting today. I feel that she continually pushed boundries and finally broke them and knows exactly how to behave to control him.
Maybe his personality is so far off from the behavior that I think will bring this relationship back to an equilibrium that the only recourse is to leave. Idk. I'm only putting forth my thoughts on what would put this little brat in check and make her feel attraction to him again, cause I garauntee she has lost a lot of that.
I know you're upset that the OP is apologizing for her behavior but it's not a matter of weakness, IMO. He's trying to calm her down so they can have a rational discussion.
You can't reason with crazy. Why would he try to have a rational conversation with an irrational person? Men like him don't understand that for females like his wife, he can't be rational and expect her to be rational too.
Quote:
Your ideas on this matter are well known...we know you give in for no woman...but the OP loves his wife and wants to have a better relationship. He's trying everything to do so. Guess what? It's not working because she's not rational. So I don't think your theory works here.
He's making it worse by doing everything he can to fix the issue. He doesn't realize that the problem won't be fixed by him appeasing her. You don't appease crazy people. It doesn't matter if that crazy person is a dictator, a criminal, or an irrational wife, crazy people don't respond to what normal people respond to. You have to nip the problem in the bud early. The more he tries to give into her, apologize, buy flowers, etc., the more she will look at him as weak.
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