Guys, what would you think of a 22 year old virgin? (casual, experiences)
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It makes it true for that person. In some people's mind, they respect it as a moral. That poster did say "I think", which means they weren't stating it as an all around fact.
And yet if I say "I think Obama was not born in the US" the fact I said it is what I think does not change the fact that my statement can be shown to be false. "I think" does not do enough to mediate between a fact statement and a mere opinion and quite often truth statements ARE made with "I think". I think the sun will rise as usual tomorrow morning. Saying "I think" there does not present what I stated as mere opinion. It is a genuine representation of how I believe the universe actually is.
Thinking something is one way does not in any way indicate it is that way. We would still require some argument to be presented that actually shows that what the person thinks is a valid position actually is one. And I do not see that being offered (yet, the user might return).
There is nothing particularly moral or immoral about losing, or retaining, virginity past any societal average. The user in question might PERSONALLY respect someone more who retains it........ but that personal respect should not (and seemingly can not) be linked in any way to morality or wisdom.
And the judgement implied in saying X is moral is that !X may be viewed as immoral. Is there any useful grounds to think that? I see none, especially given significant portions of our culture lose their virginity in or before that age.
All the OP really need be concerned with is that there are large numbers at play here, and when you lose your virginity will largely be a product of probability. And as such where you fall on the continuum of that probability............ where bunched up with the statistical "norm" or before or after it as some kind of statistical "outlier"........... is no reflection on the person in question. Statistically by pure mathematical necessity, there will be an average....... and people lying on either side of that average. And being one of those people is mere circumstance and says nothing qualitative about you personally.
And yet if I say "I think Obama was not born in the US" the fact I said it is what I think does not change the fact that my statement can be shown to be false. "I think" does not do enough to mediate between a fact statement and a mere opinion and quite often truth statements ARE made with "I think". I think the sun will rise as usual tomorrow morning. Saying "I think" there does not present what I stated as mere opinion. It is a genuine representation of how I believe the universe actually is.
Thinking something is one way does not in any way indicate it is that way. We would still require some argument to be presented that actually shows that what the person thinks is a valid position actually is one. And I do not see that being offered (yet, the user might return).
There is nothing particularly moral or immoral about losing, or retaining, virginity past any societal average. The user in question might PERSONALLY respect someone more who retains it........ but that personal respect should not (and seemingly can not) be linked in any way to morality or wisdom.
And the judgement implied in saying X is moral is that !X may be viewed as immoral. Is there any useful grounds to think that? I see none, especially given significant portions of our culture lose their virginity in or before that age.
All the OP really need be concerned with is that there are large numbers at play here, and when you lose your virginity will largely be a product of probability. And as such where you fall on the continuum of that probability............ where bunched up with the statistical "norm" or before or after it as some kind of statistical "outlier"........... is no reflection on the person in question. Statistically by pure mathematical necessity, there will be an average....... and people lying on either side of that average. And being one of those people is mere circumstance and says nothing qualitative about you personally.
Why does someone else's personal feelings have to be "validated" by facts or other people? If that person wants to associate virginity with morality...let them do it. It's their CHOICE. It has nothing to do with being factual, it's just a personal opinion.
If their beliefs aren't hurting anyone else....then there is no problem.
Why does someone else's personal feelings have to be "validated" by facts or other people?
Because this is a discussion forum not a soap box? Because people in all situations read posts here and if they see one set being described as "moral" and hence another set implied to be less than moral or even immoral...... they might go away from this place feeling bad, judged, both or worse?
Because people come to a site like this looking for advice and guidance.... bad advice and bad guidance should be challenged and rebutted when it arises. Regardless of whether someone thinks presenting it as mere opinion dilutes it's impact.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Auraliea
If their beliefs aren't hurting anyone else....then there is no problem.
Exactly. "IF". But what IF a 12, 14, 16, 18, 20 year old came in here who is not a virgin and read "opinions" that their not being a virgin makes them less than moral, immoral, wrong or in some way a bad person.
What if a girl who lost her virginity "early", who is being called a sl*t or worse in school for it, wanders into this forum and sees comments pretty much confirming what the bullies said.... suggesting she in fact is wrong or immoral or somehow bad for who and what she is?
At the best of times bad opinions can be harmful and hurt others. Can, not will, just CAN. But in a forum SPECIFICALLY for seeking guidance and advice and help.... we should be even more hypersensitive to that and not just express opinion for opinions sake. Not use the well being of others as a soap box for opinion.
And when something poorly substantiated is offered then it should be called out..... whether it is presented as fact, or opinion, equally...... because for every person posting for advice here there could be any NUMBER of people reading along who want similar guidance and advice. The "read" count on every thread is very much higher than the "post" count for a reason. For every poster there are multiple readers.
So people who lose virginity early, or keep it late, should be aware there is nothing particularly moral or immoral or wise about either. It is just the vagaries of human existence and statistical deviations. It happens (or not) to us all at different times. And you are no less of a person, morally or otherwise, for having your first sexual experience significantly earlier, or later, than anyone else.
I think some of you are way too worried about other people's sex lives.
Some people are indeed, which can lead to some awful, damaging and judgmental advice (even if the advice was not intended to be judgmental or damaging).
When one shifts ones focus away from the sex lives of others and more towards their basic well being..... a cascading effect in the advice, and the motivation from that advice, occurs I think.
But I could not count the amount of bad advice, and political moves, that are made in this world solely off peoples hang ups about the sex lives (or lack of them) of others.
I am a 22 year old girl and even though people tell me I'm pretty, men look at me quite a bit and I get hit on, I never had a real bf and I am still a virgin. I've had occasions in the past but I just never did anything about it because I don't want my first time to be with someone that I either don't truly love or that I love but doesn't really love me... I don't want it to be a casual hook up either. I'm quite shy I must admit, it can take me a bit of time to feel really comfortable with a guy, and I'm also not a girly-girl who falls in love every 2 months and within a few days. Even when I'm attracted and troubled by a guy, I need to take the time to get to know him, to become friend with him, to discover the small details that distinguishes him from the others to develop solid romantic feelings and be able to start a relationship. I think time, a bit of longing, make the feelings way more intense, so why sleeping with a charming guy you've met very recently when you could wait a few weeks or more and make all the sensations way stronger ? I am not religious at all, just romantic, maybe a bit too much, but I just want my first time to be with someone special to whom I will also be special. Anyways, I'm now 22 and getting a bit tired of waiting for love... am I being too idealistic and romantic, should I just stop making a big deal about this and go for a guy I'm not necessarily that thrilled about ? I don't want to... but I'm also a bit worried about what would a guy I like and date think of me still being a virgin.
What would you guys think if you'd meet a girl from my age, kind of like her and start dating her, and discover she is still a virgin ? How would you react ? Would it be a turn-off, or would you be glad she wants to give it to you ? Thanks in advance !
Oh my. Pardon my initial bluntness here but you are still just a youngster. Your outlook on sex may not be "cool" in the eyes of mainstream youth culture, but it's not up to that culture to make you who you are. I will say, guard your heart, for there is the wellspring of life. I won't get into what my personal reaction to you being a virgin might be, because I am far to removed from being in a position to date you. But I will caution you that there are a LOT of guys out there who would look at taking away your virginity as a trophy, and will say and act any way they think would get you to give it up. Then they would vanish like snow in July. No, your not being too idealistic or romantic. You have a right to feel any way you so choose.
Just be you. If guarding your virginity is an important matter to you (which I personally find admirable) then do so. As I said, be very cautious about guys, because there are a LOT of simple players out there who don't have your interest at heart. They will try and get you caught up in a moment, and leave you with serious regrets.
You come back here in 20 years and are still a virgin, I'd have to give you this face.
Sorry that's not PC to say, but come on, a 40 yr old virgin is just odd unless you're trying to be one.
Eh, I think even in that case, I don't think I'd consider it odd. Even more so if they only prefer having sex in a relationship.
If they aren't into casual sex, don't want to lose their virginity to a prostitute or whatever, haven't found the right match/woman, gone on dates but it never quite reached the sexual stage, etc. Then, I can see how someone can reach 40 and still be a virgin.
Then again, maybe I'm more sympathetic to the situation because I can understand dating struggles big time. I'm 26 and still a virgin.
Last edited by NewYorker11356; 03-04-2017 at 06:27 PM..
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If that person wants to associate virginity with morality...let them do it. It's their CHOICE. It has nothing to do with being factual, it's just a personal opinion. 
Pardon my initial bluntness here but you are still just a youngster. Your outlook on sex may not be "cool" in the eyes of mainstream youth culture, but it's not up to that culture to make you who you are. I will say, guard your heart, for there is the wellspring of life. I won't get into what my personal reaction to you being a virgin might be, because I am far to removed from being in a position to date you. 
But I will caution you that there are a LOT of guys out there who would look at taking away your virginity as a trophy, and will say and act any way they think would get you to give it up. Then they would vanish like snow in July. No, your not being too idealistic or romantic. You have a right to feel any way you so choose.
