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Most men don't care if a 22 year old woman is a virgin. Now, if you are waiting for marriage, that's an entirely different story-most men probably wont date you.
You're right, most of the wrong men won't date her.
But let's be real, there are a lot of good, young men whose goal is marriage and not "shacking up".
There are lots of women in their early twenties who are virgins. It isn't uncommon. The same goes for young men. Are they in the minority? Sure. However, there's still quite a number. It's not like they're extremely rare.
Any person who puts sex above marriage and a quality relationship is simply immature, a sign of high hormonal levels found in youth.
Sex before marriage should be out of the question.
I am a 22 year old girl and even though people tell me I'm pretty, men look at me quite a bit and I get hit on, I never had a real bf and I am still a virgin. I've had occasions in the past but I just never did anything about it because I don't want my first time to be with someone that I either don't truly love or that I love but doesn't really love me... I don't want it to be a casual hook up either. I'm quite shy I must admit, it can take me a bit of time to feel really comfortable with a guy, and I'm also not a girly-girl who falls in love every 2 months and within a few days. Even when I'm attracted and troubled by a guy, I need to take the time to get to know him, to become friend with him, to discover the small details that distinguishes him from the others to develop solid romantic feelings and be able to start a relationship. I think time, a bit of longing, make the feelings way more intense, so why sleeping with a charming guy you've met very recently when you could wait a few weeks or more and make all the sensations way stronger ? I am not religious at all, just romantic, maybe a bit too much, but I just want my first time to be with someone special to whom I will also be special. Anyways, I'm now 22 and getting a bit tired of waiting for love... am I being too idealistic and romantic, should I just stop making a big deal about this and go for a guy I'm not necessarily that thrilled about ? I don't want to... but I'm also a bit worried about what would a guy I like and date think of me still being a virgin.
What would you guys think if you'd meet a girl from my age, kind of like her and start dating her, and discover she is still a virgin ? How would you react ? Would it be a turn-off, or would you be glad she wants to give it to you ? Thanks in advance !
The huge sensation you will try to build up will probably build a dissapointment...
Ever heard anyone describing their first time as magical? I haven't...
it's everything between clumsyness and embarrassing misstakes, to cute blunders and whatnot... but never heard anyone describing it as great...
My advice would be to let loose and take a taste here and there so you know what you like before you try to get prince charming von romantica...
Perspectives on things change after losing the virginity...
It's so romanticised etc that if you have your first time with someone you hope is special, and he is experienced since before, he will not have te same super high expectations on it that you have... because you don't know what to expect, I certainly didn't the first time and I don't think many do...
Taking some other dudes first might also add to your perspective how good your special someone is when you meet him..
Also, I don't think I'm alone ins saying that the first time with a new partner is not usually the best... you learn each other a bit in terms of what triggers each other and what works and not the first 10~ times you sleep with a certain person...
My football coach used to tell us to practise bedmanners just like any other skill whenever possible, so that we'd be really good at it when we really need to be with that special someone... it sounds very immoral to some, but if you think about it the other way, there is a certain sexiness to someone who can go to bed with you with confidence and know what they're doing...
Echo the above. Don't set your expectations for the first time too high. For women, the first time is often awkward and painful which is further complicated by overly romantic notions that you would instantly see unicorns and rainbows your first time. In this vein, it is important that your first time is with someone who cares for you and considers your feelings and is as gentle with you as possible. It'll probably take 3-5 times before you fully enjoy it.
If you want to wait for marriage, it is certainly your choice, but make sure it is because you truly want to and not out of some deference to church authority, which has VERY flawed notions of love and human sexuality.
It's a metaphor! Not my fault if you never heard of one. I'm a woman but I'm definitely not prudish or anal retentive so I will speak the way i speak. I said 'lots of miles' meaning women who sleep with every tom, dick and harry to one who respects herself more like this girl does. No one is worthless but those who consider themselves to have worth do not have low self esteem and go around sleeping with whoever. How come I see no criticism for ascensicons post? If you're a woman I would be very angry about that. Another guy who tell a woman she must give it up to him at some point if he is going to stay with her.
Quote:
Originally Posted by monumentus
So you are comparing women who have had sex as being lower quality machines that are worth less? How horrifically crass. Women are not products. Nor is the quality of a person reduced by having had sex with someone. Nor does being with someone who has had sex in the past mean you have no taste.
Nobody cares that it's crass. We care that it's not an accurate metaphor. Cars get worse with mileage, but people get better at sex with experience.
The car analogy is a good one.
People may get better at sex with experience or they may not.
They may also get pregnant,(body damage)
They may get STDs(ratty interior)
They may end up with a life time of emotional baggage from being with some macho self absorbed ******* (faulty Electronic Control Module)
The car analogies can go on and on.
When its all said and done it only matters WHY your a virgin.
If your a virgin cause you want to be, thats fine.
If your a virgin because your frigid and just dont have the urge that can be very very bad thing.
You're right, most of the wrong men won't date her.
But let's be real, there are a lot of good, young men whose goal is marriage and not "shacking up".
There are lots of women in their early twenties who are virgins. It isn't uncommon. The same goes for young men. Are they in the minority? Sure. However, there's still quite a number. It's not like they're extremely rare.
Any person who puts sex above marriage and a quality relationship is simply immature, a sign of high hormonal levels found in youth.
Sex before marriage should be out of the question.
What would you guys think if you'd meet a girl from my age, kind of like her and start dating her, and discover she is still a virgin ? How would you react ? Would it be a turn-off, or would you be glad she wants to give it to you ? Thanks in advance !
22 year old virgin?! Pffft. try 40 year old virgin woman, LOL! That was me! I think that's the reason why my husband married me even though we only dated for 2 months. His reaction ? - he said he can't believe I didn't let anyone touch me all those years. LOL!
My advice? Lose it when you are ready in ALL aspects! - ESPECIALLY Emotionally AND physically. Don't lose your V card just coz you are worried on what people will say about you. That's a BIG mistake. Lose it because you WANT to.
When its all said and done it only matters WHY your a virgin.
If your a virgin cause you want to be, thats fine. If your a virgin because your frigid and just dont have the urge that can be very very bad thing.
Umm... the second reason is pretty much similar to the first. It should be more like if your a virgin and don't want to be one but guys find you repulsive than it is a very bad thing.
What would you guys think if you'd meet a girl from my age, kind of like her and start dating her, and discover she is still a virgin ? How would you react ? Would it be a turn-off, or would you be glad she wants to give it to you ? Thanks in advance !
Makes absolutely no difference to a mature man who is worth your time. Now, the reasons you are a virgin may be considered either good or bad by different types of men, and your general outlook on sex and sexuality (which includes your beliefs about what it does and doesn't mean to be a virgin) are definitely important. Ultimately, I'd say your current beliefs and attitudes on the subject are more important than whether you had sex in the past. I'd take a non-virgin woman who shares my views on sex (which are fairly conservative) over a virgin leaning towards sexual promiscuity any day. So nothing you said would turn me off, except maybe this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Anna181
...should I just stop making a big deal about this and go for a guy I'm not necessarily that thrilled about ?
I would call this curing your original practice of being smart, with foolishness.
Ok.. stay on topic and report bad post rather than bickering.
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