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the anticipation, the butterflies,,,nervousness, the magical evenings of sharing awkwardness, savoring the moments, feeling high on life,,cause you got a first kiss..
where did that go?? thru decades of de-sensitization,,,whether on tv/movies, or in particular technology..
for example,,
a guy is single, he lives in a city, he goes on 3 dating sites, all the sudden, he's looking at a buffet of woman, that he can pick and choose from, so, he may narrow them down to a list of 10 or 15, then start emailing,, out of the 10 or 15, he may be emailing back and forth with 7-10 of them, innocent at first-then throwing innuendos,,, see what the response is. 4-5 agree for a date
he sets up a date with one-knowing that if this doesnt work out 4 more girls are in the waiting, so, he's being a bit more arrogant, stating what he wants, and if she isnt a 9 or a ten in his eyes,,,he will be looking forward to the other dates.
no anticipation, no butterflies, no appreciation of just being in the same company or companionship,,,, very little patience,
maybe im off base,,,but i hear this stuff from guys at work a lot
I think and feel the exact same way as the OP and to be honest, at times I let some of the stuff here I read really bring me down, but I think a good chunk of what is posted here is either complete BS or some level of BS..... I think in real life people settle a lot more for example, or are far more accepting of things as being too short or not wealthy enough... or fill in the blanks....
I just think the negative shows up here a lot more and I think the freedom of anonymity that the Internet provides allows people to be a little more negative or nasty than in real life.....
At least this is the story I'm telling myself, because if I have to go back out "there" after 20 yrs in a relationship, I think I rather pass, cause what I read here, I have no interest in entertaining.....
Yes, real life isn't much like CD, not for me anyways: chivalry isn't dead, men/women are not all evil villains, and people don't wallow in their own pity so much.
the anticipation, the butterflies,,,nervousness, the magical evenings of sharing awkwardness, savoring the moments, feeling high on life,,cause you got a first kiss..
where did that go?? thru decades of de-sensitization,,,whether on tv/movies, or in particular technology..
for example,,
a guy is single, he lives in a city, he goes on 3 dating sites, all the sudden, he's looking at a buffet of woman, that he can pick and choose from, so, he may narrow them down to a list of 10 or 15, then start emailing,, out of the 10 or 15, he may be emailing back and forth with 7-10 of them, innocent at first-then throwing innuendos,,, see what the response is. 4-5 agree for a date
he sets up a date with one-knowing that if this doesnt work out 4 more girls are in the waiting, so, he's being a bit more arrogant, stating what he wants, and if she isnt a 9 or a ten in his eyes,,,he will be looking forward to the other dates.
no anticipation, no butterflies, no appreciation of just being in the same company or companionship,,,, very little patience,
maybe im off base,,,but i hear this stuff from guys at work a lot
i really miss old fashion romancing. it was soooo much better in the olden days.
Welcome to dating in 2013.
We all want top value for our time and energy. It isn't about 'sharing life' anymore. It's more about, "How can I put myself in a position to benefit most."
Quote:
Originally Posted by metamorphosis
If people are so selfish, they should be alone. There is no risk when you are alone. No one to hurt you. No one picking you apart if you ask the wrong question at the wrong time on a date.
But people are also greedy, wanting even what they are unwilling to earn, the easiest way possible.
And if you cannot deliver, then you're discarded and the internet is there to supply someone new to use.
People are taking about switching relationships when they get bored as if their partner is a commodity or disposable - like TP.
This is all so very sad. Most of the threads I read (or even the titles that keep me from reading the thread) and are so depressing and/or ridiculous. If this is what dating is like, I don't even want to be a part of it. I'll stay home and read.
Why would anyone in their right mind have to be so damned concerned to ask women what hair color they like, how much money or status makes a man attractive, if we are going to turn down a short man? Women wonder how/why they aren't asked out. Did you ever think that it isn't your hair color or your income or your height? Good God, we are all human. Not one person is going to be liked by everyone, so stop trying. If you try to be someone else, you aren't being you. You have to be liked/loved for YOU for a relationship to last.
And if you don't care about a lasting relationship, pay a hooker. Don't go around hurting another person's feelings. What is THAT all about? Don't people have scruples anymore?
Maybe you can't find a good woman who will treat you right, because she's staying home, reading, to avoid all the BS. It just isn't worth it. The same can obviously be said about guys, too.
What happened to wanting to spend your life sharing it with someone? Why does it have to be all butterflies and rainbows every single day? Do you think that's realistic? I would expect a relationship to have highs and lows. I'd also expect a partner to be mature enough to understand that and work on it when there are lows. In my mind, you make it work by using each other's strengths. It's like a garden. You don't just put the seeds in the ground and walk away. You go water them, give them the sun and nutrients they need to flourish.
As my friend, MS, says, "You harvest what you plant."
I totally agree with you. Very often, as a big fan of Dr. Laura, I will answer a post as I think she would and I am CONSTANTLY lambasted by feminists and other people of that ilk who ask me what century I am living in because I respect the marriage vows and believe that they should be honored.
These days people are all about what "they" want and do not really care much about the other person. Oh, they are all hot to trot when they first meet, but by the time the first or second kid comes along the bloom is off the rose and they are ready to move on. Instead of working things out it is much easier to just pull the plug. Even though studies have shown again and again that children of broken homes do not do as well in life, and have many more psychological problems than those who come from an intact home.
My husband can be challenging at times. I have posted on this forum about it in the past. But at some point I made up my mind that I was going to be loving and understanding and not critical of him any longer. Since that happened things have improved dramatically. I cannot give advice to others if I am unwilling to "walk the walk" myself.
What most folks fail to realize that the work you put into a successful marriage pays off in the end.
But people are also greedy, wanting even what they are unwilling to earn, the easiest way possible.
And if you cannot deliver, then you're discarded and the internet is there to supply someone new to use.
but what is not worked for ,,,is not appreciated..
I've read so many posts that are about how the author won't settle for someone, and they are looking for a 10 in a pool of 7s. *sigh* And so, what makes the author think he/she isn't a 7 in a pool of at least 8s or 9s? Do people think they are special because mommy told them they were their whole lives? News flash: You aren't special. You're just like everyone else.
It seems folks aren't all that humble these days either.
I've read so many posts that are about how the author won't settle for someone, and they are looking for a 10 in a pool of 7s. *sigh* And so, what makes the author think he/she isn't a 7 in a pool of at least 8s or 9s? Do people think they are special because mommy told them they were their whole lives? News flash: You aren't special. You're just like everyone else.
It seems folks aren't all that humble these days either.
My heart bleeds of what I've seen and witnessed the worsening of society in my 51 plus years of my life so far.
Just for starters: when Morals, Ethics and Values are thrown out the window and into the sewer never to return with a good percentage of society = it becomes a selfish "boink-boink here and a boink-boink there in many different forms" a corrupted in heart and soul result.
My heart bleeds of what I've seen and witnessed the worsening of society in my 51 plus years of my life so far.
Just for starters: when Morals, Ethics and Values are thrown out the window and into the sewer never to return with a good percentage of society = it becomes a selfish "boink-boink here and a boink-boink there in many different forms" a corrupted in heart and soul result.
One can choose not to be a part of that though. I choose not to, and it may mean that I'll be spending life without a partner, but so be it.
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