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One can choose not to be a part of that though. I choose not to, and it may mean that I'll be spending life without a partner, but so be it.
It becomes a disconnect from society to a point and going ones own way.
Also, with all the corrupt people out there and people getting burned by others it becomes quite tough to trust anyone especially when the art of deception has been mastered by a good percentage and not knowing if "x" person that one may not know will try the same to someone else again.
You don't have to be alone, though. Sure there are some crappy people out there, but most are decent, if not incredible people.
While I don't believe most of what people post here, I count myself lucky that I'm surrounded by awesome people.
I've known some absolutely incredible people as well, and count many of them as my close friends. However, when it comes to a romantic relationship I haven't had such luck.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lol-its-good4U
It becomes a disconnect from society to a point and going ones own way.
Also, with all the corrupt people out there and people getting burned by others it becomes quite tough to trust anyone especially when the art of deception has been mastered by a good percentage and not knowing if "x" person that one may not know will try the same to someone else again.
It takes me quite some time to trust a person...I have been burned more times than I can count. It's one of the reasons I decided to move across the country and start over
I've read so many posts that are about how the author won't settle for someone, and they are looking for a 10 in a pool of 7s. *sigh* And so, what makes the author think he/she isn't a 7 in a pool of at least 8s or 9s? Do people think they are special because mommy told them they were their whole lives? News flash: You aren't special. You're just like everyone else.
It seems folks aren't all that humble these days either.
Haha. Pretty much!
I don't take most of these posts seriously.
There are great people out there.. Who dont go on about this rubbish.
...& trust is earned. Sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't.
People are taking about switching relationships when they get bored as if their partner is a commodity or disposable - like TP.
This is all so very sad. Most of the threads I read (or even the titles that keep me from reading the thread) and are so depressing and/or ridiculous. If this is what dating is like, I don't even want to be a part of it. I'll stay home and read.
Don't worry, that's not what dating is like for the vast majority of people. Try to remember that the people who post inanities here are, well, inane.
Someone has probably already said it in this thread by now, but don't let things you read here get you too down. It's particularly negative here, which is not like normal. Just let it roll off your back.
The modern reality is that people have been conditioned to accept nothing but the very best. Anything inferior is regarded as cowardly surrender. Consider the analogy with employment. Much is said about a tight job market, but people who do have quite decent jobs are incessantly angling for better ones. In fact we see in employee-employer relationships the same tenuousness, the same feeling of contingency and transience that we see in intimate relationships. An employee remains loyal so long as a better offer isn’t available. A romantic partner stays loyal so long as a better alternative doesn’t materialize on OK-Cupid.
I don’t believe that human nature has changed. People are like gasses, expanding to fill the available volume. Modernity offers very large volumes, and consequently low densities. People will jostle to optimize, exchanging one arrangement for a perceived improvement, whenever the option is available. Today we have too many options, or at least the perception thereof.
But it’s not mere human rapacity to demand ever more, that’s causing relationships to be “disposable”. The flip side is fear that the counterparty is doing the exact same thing. If one can be dumped by one’s partner at any time, why bother investing in the relationship? Why bother spending the emotional capital? Just trundle along, giving as little as possible, so that when the breakup comes, the heartache will be minimal. The prophesy is self-fulfilling. Light and hesitant investment means that the other party feels no need to invest either, whence the slightest setback is ample pretext to end the relationship. Fear of not being able to find another mate? No fear of that… remember, we have a plethora of options.
Welcome to dating in 2013.
We all want top value for our time and energy. It isn't about 'sharing life' anymore. It's more about, "How can I put myself in a position to benefit most."
The views expressed here are not those of actual human beings. Relax.
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