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I would say it's not very likely. It's also never happened that I've felt that way about someone. To me, a relationship with out desire is a friendship.
A typical relationship... I figured if we did get serious I could always force myself to have sex and enjoy it. Of course I never pursued relationship with any of these guys(always an issue of timing) but I never doubted that despite not having a sexual desire for that particular guy, that we could still have a decent sex life.
OP, you condition is unlikely related to ADHD, more like childhood issues really but i'm no shrink and while counseling could prove therapeutic there is no guarantee for "complete recover to normal behavior", if there is such a thing.
one of the amazing curiosities of sex is that it reveals a lot about a person's psyche. like many others who have had multiple partners, the rituals from agreeing to have sex, the where/when/how, taking clothes off, body image confidence and corresponding partner reactions, and likes/dislikes of various sexual acts, the how/when of organisms, and conduct afterwards pretty much lets you come to "know" your partner, as they say "in the biblical sense" (like Adam knew Eve). for me, it always helped me with a understanding a key piece of the puzzle of her personality. ultimately, however, it was about sexual compatibility, and whether you have it or not. for example, if a woman found giving oral sex "gross", i will conclude there is no LTR potential at all. same for you, most guys are going to want the standard menu options.
so it sounds like finding sexual compatibility with a guy who is cool with your preferences and whether you are open to allowing him to get the fix he would normally get from you from others, porn, or through other means. but sex is basically about physical needs and satisfaction, and it works best when you see eye-to-eye with your partner on how you are going to meet those needs. fact of the matter is many long term couples go through these reflective moments as the relationship ages. but if you are otherwise a healthy normal productive person, don't stigmatize yourself like thinking you have some kind of mental disorder (we all do really, no one escapes childhood unscathed as they say), just find your partner and path. good luck.
I don't really think I need therapy because of the way I feel *sometimes* about sex. Like I said even if I feel embarrassed or humiliated I still will do it anyway and pretend like I'm secure and really get into it. My ex couldn't tell that I wasn't enjoying it, or that I found it degrading and nasty.
You could have another medical issue too. I went through a no sex drive period due to whacked out hormones. Then things changed and suddenly my sex drive returned. I had desire again.
See I knew that people would discuss those in middle age or older who have relationships like this. I mean, as men get older, their sex drive wanes, and other things become more important, so of course it makes sense that for some men "having sex" could be the least of their concern when it comes to seeking a mate. But my question is for men who are still in their sexual prime, men who are young, and who should for all intent and purposes be banging as many woman as possible. Is it possible for these men to have genuine romantic feelings for a woman without wanting to bang her, or without feeling that sexual attraction to her? Or is it just a given that for a young man, if he is attracted and likes a woman, that he automatically wants to bang her?
Maybe it's just women, that can be complex like that, but I've always wondered if men can be that way too.
Back to my friends situation, she actually broke it off with this guy, because she felt like scum because she didn't think he was attracted to her since he didn't *act* like he want to bang her. She even said at one point, she would sort of try to watch him when he wasn't looking to see if he would check out her body and he simply did not. She said he was such a nice guy--great in every way, but she couldn't deal with feeling like he didn't want to have sex with her.
It sounded bizarre to me--I mean a lot of women wonder if there are men out there that don't want to have sex right away--and she had one and turned him away.
The thing is, I feel it's REALLY rare for a young man(in his twenties or thirties) to be this way, but they have to exist(few of them) right? I just feel like NOT every single young man will associate attraction with sex.
I don't really, part of it is because I'm a virgin, and something about sex and other sexual acts seems unnatural and a bit crude. Part of this is probably due to being a bit sheltered, partly by choice, when I was young. Regardless, I think I could live in a relationship without sex as long as there is a lot of bonding (cuddling, kissing, etc.). Maybe that will change when I first have sex, but the women I'm attracted to tend not to be the definition of 'sexy', more cute and down-to-earth and easy to get along with.
Wow. You serious? What is an orgasm supposed to feel like that makes you think I'm not having a real one. I watch pornos and when they orgasm it does seem vastly different but I just figured it was theatrix.
Well, yes, porn is fiction .
Orgasms vary a lot. One feels different from the next one. But most times the pleasure should be pretty intense (some people pass out, but that's a minority). There should be some pretty strong involuntary contractions of your abdominal and pelvic floor and internal muscles. With a strong orgasm you will likely feel your uterus contract, too.
Does this help? Like I say, description is difficult . Maybe others here can chime in.
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I been masturbating the same way since I was like 5 (TMI lol) so it very well could be that maybe I have not had an orgasm and just reached some peak that isnt the real one but close enough?
Does the end point feel the same as it did when you were a little kid? I have not heard of someone being able to have an orgasm before puberty starts (beginning to grow breasts, etc.). But some form of masturbation is normal for little kids.
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These are all reasons that I just avoid sex since I broke up with my ex, it's too complicated and makes me feel like I'm weird because I can't orgasm or enjoy it like other people do.
You are not weird . Just uneducated! For example, expecting to have an orgasm from intercourse. Only about 13% of women have the anatomy for that.
The way you masturbate, is it something you can do when you are with a partner? That is usually the first step. Then you can move to having your partner do it for part of the time, and to incorporating other kinds of stimulation...
But, see, if you feel this stuff is humiliating then that is going to be a barrier. Most people cannot orgasm or feel very sexual when they feel embarrassed or bad about themselves (of course, there are some people who kink on that, but that's another story). Counseling is not for broken people -- it is healthy for everyone, and it might make your life a lot happier if you are free of this emotional baggage.
I don't want to push you towards doing anything, sex or counseling, that you don't want to. I just want to let you know what options are out there, in case you feel like following up on them sometime.
Only on City Data can "MEN" (you know who the OP is asking) be booted out and filled in by ladies opinions and banter.
Only on CD will a bunch of guys come out of the woodwork to make it a gender war and take the thread off-topic, instead of answering the OP themselves.
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Orgasms vary a lot. One feels different from the next one. But most times the pleasure should be pretty intense (some people pass out, but that's a minority). There should be some pretty strong involuntary contractions of your abdominal and pelvic floor and internal muscles. With a strong orgasm you will likely feel your uterus contract, too.
Does this help? Like I say, description is difficult . Maybe others here can chime in.
Does the end point feel the same as it did when you were a little kid? I have not heard of someone being able to have an orgasm before puberty starts (beginning to grow breasts, etc.). But some form of masturbation is normal for little kids.
You are not weird . Just uneducated! For example, expecting to have an orgasm from intercourse. Only about 13% of women have the anatomy for that.
The way you masturbate, is it something you can do when you are with a partner? That is usually the first step. Then you can move to having your partner do it for part of the time, and to incorporating other kinds of stimulation...
But, see, if you feel this stuff is humiliating then that is going to be a barrier. Most people cannot orgasm or feel very sexual when they feel embarrassed or bad about themselves (of course, there are some people who kink on that, but that's another story). Counseling is not for broken people -- it is healthy for everyone, and it might make your life a lot happier if you are free of this emotional baggage.
I don't want to push you towards doing anything, sex or counseling, that you don't want to. I just want to let you know what options are out there, in case you feel like following up on them sometime.
Ok so I guess I've never had a real orgasm then--because I don't feel contractions, and pelvic floor and internal muscles contracting. Wow, the end does feel similar as it does when I was a kid. OMG so I've never had an orgasm? That is so embarrassing--no wonder I wasn't able to orgasm with my ex, I didn't know how.
Like I said traditional masturbation--I don't do. I don't want to start either, though. But at least I know that I probably just can't orgasm. I don't know if I should try a vibrator, and see if that works.
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