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You sure do like extremes that don't match what happens in real life.
But yeah, if she was sleeping with four people in a week and she wouldn't make you number five I'd move on if I were you as she is out of your league. You can then claim on message boards you dumped that promiscuous chick and act like you're a triumphant man.
Um....
I literally know a woman IRL that is currently sexing 4 if not 5 guys a week right now.
She's late 20's, professional, and takes care of herself, and attractive......
Oh, and for some extra juice, she has had sex at her place of employment within the past week with one of her boytoys.
That particular guy happens to be married to quite an attractive woman. The only one who doesn't know is the wife.
Sometimes IRL does match so called extremes.
I believe the extremes happen much much more frequently than people realize.
But what if you aren't a part of the many men?
Now what?
Then you do what I suggested above: After a couple of dates you convey that you are a one-woman man and hope for a one-man woman.
You don't have to phrase it quite like that, but there are lots of ways you can get your point across depending on your own personal style. A few I've heard over the years:
"I can't do the multi-dating thing. I'd eventually mix someone up with someone else on a birthday or something and there would be hell to pay." Went out with that guy for a year.
"I like to really get to know someone one person at a time. I'd rather focus on one person for a couple of months and find out we're not compatible, than drag it out over five or six months because I'm trying to get to know too many people at once and then come to the same conclusion anyway." That was from my ex-husband, Mr. Articulate and Thoughtful, in describing his dating style. I can see you and Dissenter approaching it that way.
"It's not for me. I can't deal with more than one of you [meaning women] at a time." When my current SO said that, I thought, "Finally, a smartass! I can relate!"
Here's how NOT to do it, at least with someone like me:
At the end of the first date: "So, uh, does this mean we're dating? Like, we're in a relationship now, right?"
"You're with me now."
"I may not be the first, but I will be the last." Yeah, I got away from that one--with one hand on the OC spray in my purse!
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006
Um....
I literally know a woman IRL that is currently sexing 4 if not 5 guys a week right now.
She's late 20's, professional, and takes care of herself, and attractive......
Oh, and for some extra juice, she has had sex at her place of employment within the past week with one of her boytoys.
That particular guy happens to be married to quite an attractive woman. The only one who doesn't know is the wife.
Sometimes IRL does match so called extremes.
I believe the extremes happen much much more frequently than people realize.
That isn't that unusual. Never said it was. But do you think she is dating someone that she really likes and withholding sex from them for two months while banging four guys? Highly unlikely. Incredibly highly unlikely. That is the only thing that would make it relevant to this discussion. Otherwise it is just a misdirect, which is precisely what the thirdratewomanhatingblogposter person was attempting to do.
That isn't that unusual. Never said it was. But do you think she is dating someone that she really likes and withholding sex from them for two months while banging four guys? Highly unlikely. Incredibly highly unlikely. That is the only thing that would make it relevant to this discussion. Otherwise it is just a misdirect, which is precisely what the thirdratewomanhatingblogposter person was attempting to do.
That isn't that unusual. Never said it was. But do you think she is dating someone that she really likes and withholding sex from them for two months while banging four guys? Highly unlikely. Incredibly highly unlikely. That is the only thing that would make it relevant to this discussion. Otherwise it is just a misdirect, which is precisely what the thirdratewomanhatingblogposter person was attempting to do.
haha.
I don't think the woman I know is trying give the impression of being a good girl.
I personally think this thread should have cooled off 8 pages ago or so.
Not really sure what the argument is even about.
For anyone that thinks I think poorly of the woman I know, I also know a guy that sexed 3 women in the same week a few weeks back.
He is probably much more deceitful than the woman I know. At least the woman I know is honest about dating other guys.
Not reasonably a deal breaker in adult relationships.
This is the height of disingenuousness right here! Of course a lot of men (yes, "adult" men, assuming that was a remark on maturity) would call it off with a woman if they knew she was having sex with another man while dating them! That's because they personally view it as a bad decision on her part, and they don't want to be with someone who makes bad decisions. Having an opinion you disagree with doesn't make them immature.
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742
Ok, these are all new to me and sound completely made up, but if this is how you see it, so be it. Though you can have open marriages and there is no such thing as committing to an LTR. LTRs happen over time. You don't decide "we're going to have an LTR" and suddenly it is.
You can check any word in an online dictionary. And yes, some people do commit to a LTR. They stay together that long specifically because they chose to (figuring one of them wasn't killed, of course). But I will agree it's pretty rare.
Wow, from reading her reactions to her confronting you, she probably met you and the other guy around the same time, liked you both but felt she had more "chemistry" with the other guy. So she started sleeping with him first. She probably realized he wasn't really interested in getting serious, but was hoping he changed his mind.
Meanwhile she kept the dates going on with you, but refrained from sex, not because she thought you were boyfriend material and wanted to wait because of that, but because she was trying to hold out for the other guy, and instead of being honest with you about the situation, she feed you a bunch of b.s. about you being special so that you'd still be there waiting if things didn't work out with him.
The fact that she won't come clean and tell you how long it lasted may mean it was more than just 2 months.
Personally, I'd dump her, tell her why, and move on, no games, because personally I probably wouldn't even want to be around her for a while.
That's another possibility. That didn't even occur to me. Huh.
That would be a pretty crappy thing to do to someone, keeping him on a back-burner.
Still wouldn't justify getting down in the slop and being crappy back, though. Revenge is a dish best served cold. Like you, I would just say, "I don't see this working out" and walk away.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,995,252 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
This is the height of disingenuousness right here! Of course a lot of men (yes, "adult" men, assuming that was a remark on maturity) would call it off with a woman if they knew she was having sex with another man while dating them! That's because they personally view it as a bad decision on her part, and they don't want to be with someone who makes bad decisions. Having an opinion you disagree with doesn't make them immature.
So it is a bad decision to sleep with other men, but a good decision to sleep with them? Or is that a bad decision too? Is sex just a bad decision? That point of view doesn't sound immature to you? Seriously? It's a virtual poster child for an immature outlook.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
You can check any word in an online dictionary. And yes, some people do commit to a LTR. They stay together that long specifically because they chose to (figuring one of them wasn't killed, of course). But I will agree it's pretty rare.
Yeah, but not all of us debate dishonestly and change some of the guidelines of the discussion (we were speaking of monogamy) in the middle of the discussion.
No, they do not commit to an LTR. They make a commitment and then the LTR happens. I can't approach someone and then commit to an LTR with them. What would it be? "Hi friends, we're in a LTR of two days!!!" Of course that is ridiculous. You are in a committed relationship and it may or turn into an LTR, in time. And there is nothing you can do to make the time go faster.
That isn't that unusual. Never said it was. But do you think she is dating someone that she really likes and withholding sex from them for two months while banging four guys? Highly unlikely. Incredibly highly unlikely.
LOL I knew several women like this, one in particular. Pretty much everyone at her workplace and in her apartment complex knew about her, and as soon as her prospective BFs find out, they break up with her because they feel played. She wonders why she can't find a boyfriend.
Every week, she hooks up with multiple people. She laments not being able to find a boyfriend, she makes guys she is dating wait 6 months before she'll consider having sex with them, but routinely has sex outside of prospective boyfriends she is dating.
No one is going to date her seriously when she says the reason she waits 6 months is because she is not that kind of girl and wants the special moment when they eventually have sex to be special, knowing that she is hooking every week.
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Of course a lot of men (yes, "adult" men, assuming that was a remark on maturity) would call it off with a woman if they knew she was having sex with another man while dating them! That's because they personally view it as a bad decision on her part, and they don't want to be with someone who makes bad decisions. Having an opinion you disagree with doesn't make them immature.
