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Old 08-11-2021, 04:26 PM
 
4,621 posts, read 2,226,126 times
Reputation: 3952

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Quote:
Originally Posted by MontyMan View Post
Hi everybody. I’m posting here cause I wanted to find a forum that has an equal number of women posters.

My situation is not a huge deal since I’ve only known this girl for about six months but I am pissed so I’m curious as to what your responses will be.

Here’s the deal real quick. Met a girl. We got along well. Thought she was “nice” so not too fussed when she held out on having sex. Said she wasn’t into going to bed too fast, said she wasn’t like that. OK. No problem. Took us about 2 months to get to it.

I have just found out that while “we were getting to know each other for two months” she had ongoing sex with a “friends with benefits.” I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she stopped with him when we stated having sex BUT she was having sex with him for two months while telling me she wanted to take it slow with me cause that’s the way she is and that I'm special, etc.

We all know the end game here but I have not yet confronted her with this. Before I do I want to be prepared. I’d like your ideas of how she’ll respond so that I have good counters to her justifications / explanations – whatever they may be.

I would really appreciate women’s views on this. Thanks.
I'm not a woman so I'm not going to give you a woman's advice.

But she'd rather bang some of the dude than you and she's not telling you about it I mean she doesn't respect you.

I'd say put that on the curb go find someone who will treat you better and if you can't find someone he'll treat you better and it's better to be alone
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Old 08-11-2021, 04:41 PM
 
760 posts, read 421,754 times
Reputation: 819
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hankrigby View Post
I'm not a woman so I'm not going to give you a woman's advice.

But she'd rather bang some of the dude than you and she's not telling you about it I mean she doesn't respect you.

I'd say put that on the curb go find someone who will treat you better and if you can't find someone he'll treat you better and it's better to be alone
They are not married. Why would she be obliged to tell him anything? When people marry, they sign a legal document under the govt. to fulfill whatever they set up in that marriage contract. That means, that you, if you aren't married, you could bring back home 10 women and get intimate with them, and your girlfriend would still have no right to know about it, because you never signed any binding document, now did you?

And even if she did find out about what you did? You would still have done nothing wrong because there was never a signed agreement between the two of you that would ensure sexual and emotional exclusivity between she and you. Verbally? Verbal contracts don't mean anything. Even if you were to voice record the deal, it would still not be viable because voices can be faked and for other reasons.

A girlfriend or a boyfriend is just someone you spend some time with, have sex with, and enjoy a good time. They don't mean all that much to begin with, as girlfriends and boyfriends come and go as often as the snow falls on Finland, so who cares, in my case, if my girlfriend is sleeping with another man? I don't know if she is or isn't. And I don't care either way. What I do know is that I never miss a chance to sleep with other women, and I am under no obligation to tell my girlfriends about it. life is short, bro. And sexual monogamy is something for poor men and for men who have never heard of the gym, *shrugs*
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Old 08-11-2021, 04:51 PM
 
4,621 posts, read 2,226,126 times
Reputation: 3952
Quote:
Originally Posted by BrentwoodfamilyMart View Post
They are not married. Why would she be obliged to tell him anything? When people marry, they sign a legal document under the govt. to fulfill whatever they set up in that marriage contract. That means, that you, if you aren't married, you could bring back home 10 women and get intimate with them, and your girlfriend would still have no right to know about it, because you never signed any binding document, now did you?

And even if she did find out about what you did? You would still have done nothing wrong because there was never a signed agreement between the two of you that would ensure sexual and emotional exclusivity between she and you. Verbally? Verbal contracts don't mean anything. Even if you were to voice record the deal, it would still not be viable because voices can be faked and for other reasons.

A girlfriend or a boyfriend is just someone you spend some time with, have sex with, and enjoy a good time. They don't mean all that much to begin with, as girlfriends and boyfriends come and go as often as the snow falls on Finland, so who cares, in my case, if my girlfriend is sleeping with another man? I don't know if she is or isn't. And I don't care either way. What I do know is that I never miss a chance to sleep with other women, and I am under no obligation to tell my girlfriends about it. life is short, bro. And sexual monogamy is something for poor men and for men who have never heard of the gym, *shrugs*
If you expect an absolute bare minimum and honesty from people unless you marry them that's your business.
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Old 08-11-2021, 10:47 PM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,579,709 times
Reputation: 19723
Quote:
Originally Posted by timberline742 View Post
I have no idea what you mean by "blue pill land", but whatever.
red pill guys are onto the 'reality' of how awful women are.
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Old 08-11-2021, 11:26 PM
 
21,109 posts, read 13,579,709 times
Reputation: 19723
Quote:
Originally Posted by RedWings18 View Post
Super old post but a classic.


Most people miss the point. The point everyone keeps making is and yes, we all agree, if there is no exclusivity discussion then there is no agreement about sex with other people. But this isn't why the OP was upset.


He was upset because he felt played, and rightly so. She ran a routine on him to make him think she is something she is not. Good girls that make you wait don't have casual sex. It really is mutually exclusive. It's a classic routine to manipulate you into feelings.


Ladies, if you're gonna run the good girl routine, live the part then and put your casual sex ways behind you OR be open and up front about your lifestyle. Can't have your cake and eat it too.
? since when does that 'manipulate feelings'? It doesn't matter if it's a week or two months, once the man has sex, having had to wait for it doesn't make him value her more - maybe it did 5 minutes before, but not after.
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