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I don't tend to see winning in terms of competition against others, only against myself. As in "winning in life" in the sense that an infinite number of people can do so...and as I have much to enjoy, I believe that I am.
In a sense though, I kind of agree. I think that many people are...fake?...in a way. Or just that they prefer not to think clearly or treat themselves or others very well. Too many people. Instead of deciding not to play, I suppose I chose to find a different playing field with a different game, and higher odds of "winning" for everyone.
You are in a relationship board as the self-proclaimed enemy of relationships. Some of us are coming more from a place of hoping people can treat one another right and succeed at having healthy relationships. Which, contrary to what the most disgruntled of posters in this subform continuously spout, is completely possible for most. Whether it's worth the work, one can only decide for themselves.
And while I don't consider my experiences to be dirty or shameful in the slightest, my partners whether long or short term do tend to have a pretty good idea of my history. I don't hide it. I see no point in that. Part of having a good relationship is being able to be true with another person. They love you for who you are, not some illusion you're trying to keep woven together, which will inevitably fall apart in the light of day. If you have to trick someone into being with you, then you've already failed. Failed yourself at least.
Not that any of this would matter to you, as you aren't trying to even do relationships.
So if what others think doesn't matter, only what YOU think matters to you, and you have no use for or interest in relationships yourself, and you're perfectly happy with that...then why are you here?
Not to help yourself or others to have a successful relationship, surely.
Not to complain, since you say you're happy as you stand.
Not to influence other men to abandon relationships with women, if you don't care what other people think.
You weren't exclusive so she can do whatever the hell she wants to do. At the same time though, you were doing the whole dating and courtship thing. And then she would go hook up with some other dude. That's also pretty messed up. She could have at least been upfront that you weren't the only man in her life. No matter what you think, an FWB is still a relationship. It's a loosely based one, but it's still an intimate relationship.
Hi everybody. I’m posting here cause I wanted to find a forum that has an equal number of women posters.
My situation is not a huge deal since I’ve only known this girl for about six months but I am pissed so I’m curious as to what your responses will be.
Here’s the deal real quick. Met a girl. We got along well. Thought she was “nice” so not too fussed when she held out on having sex. Said she wasn’t into going to bed too fast, said she wasn’t like that. OK. No problem. Took us about 2 months to get to it.
I have just found out that while “we were getting to know each other for two months” she had ongoing sex with a “friends with benefits.” I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt and say she stopped with him when we stated having sex BUT she was having sex with him for two months while telling me she wanted to take it slow with me cause that’s the way she is and that I'm special, etc.
We all know the end game here but I have not yet confronted her with this. Before I do I want to be prepared. I’d like your ideas of how she’ll respond so that I have good counters to her justifications / explanations – whatever they may be.
I would really appreciate women’s views on this. Thanks.
Same circumstance between me and my husband. He was special. Meaning a real person with feelings that I may want to spend my entire life with. So after about 10 weeks, cut off the "relationship" if you want to call it that. I was 18, he was 25. We've been married for 29 years now.
Just ignore it. She clearly made the right choice. No one can consider someone a boyfriend when there wasn't time to bond. Now it would be awful but at the beginning juncture, it is not uncommon.
something is going haywire here with the software....where is this post at? how come it just showed I duplicated it (though I didn't) but now it's gone.
Same circumstance between me and my husband. He was special. Meaning a real person with feelings that I may want to spend my entire life with. So after about 10 weeks, cut off the "relationship" if you want to call it that. I was 18, he was 25. We've been married for 29 years now.
Just ignore it. She clearly made the right choice. No one can consider someone a boyfriend when there wasn't time to bond. Now it would be awful but at the beginning juncture, it is not uncommon.
What was the person, or entity I guess, who you were having sex with?
I am in a similar situation. I have a sexual relationship with a specific person as I'm also trying to date other men while not sleeping with them. The reason I'm holding out is because I have feelings for the guy I'm sleeping with. I think that maybe she might have had feelings for this guy too and didn't develop true feelings for you until two months in. I know it hurts but it might be the truth of the matter. It's very hard for a woman not to develop feelings for a man she is having sex with whether they admit it or not. I'm 32 so I've had quite a bit of experience with this. My advice to you is to give yourself some time to let the anger subside, then speak to her ONLY about how the situation made you feel. Speak from the heart. Let her know it hurt you. Get it off your chest, and then decide if you want to keep seeing her. Don't be too hasty with your decisions. Let her speak her truth as well. For all you know, this experience might bring you two closer together. At the very worst, it is a learning experience for you. Use it to grow. Now you have a better idea of what you want and what you don't want and that's a good thing. Hope it works out for the best!
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