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So because a woman can easily get sex, scorn is valid if she does, unless there is a relationship? Where they i state that?? Scorn is made by other women who do not want that sort of woman around her BF/Husband etc since the man can be swayed to her and she could lose him. Some men scorn the woman since she is not selective when it comes to mating and does anyone.
A woman can walk up to a guy and state;; "hey, i think your hot. I want to have sex with you. Let's go back to my place and the response will be around 98% yes. What would be the response if a guy made the same statement??
If a girl wants to hook up with a guy it's pretty simple. All she has to do is pick the guy. (average to hot woman). Remember, it's usually men that make the 1st move.
You say that the name calling happens because it's easy for women to get laid, and praise for men because it's more challenging. And here is where we are disconnecting. I'm saying that women abstain from more casual things like FWB/FB and wait for relationships and worry about being too fast or too easy...BECAUSE...we get the judgment.
I was so happy to pin this down, you and I are having a chicken and egg argument! You're saying, judgement is there because it's easy for women, I'm saying it's more difficult for men because judgement is there. See it??
Anyhow, people gonna people. I don't follow the "bar scene" rules. I think they're dumb. I have sex with anyone I want and anybody who wants to have negative opinions about that can stick 'em up their tailpipes.
Oh, also?
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Scorn is made by other women who do not want that sort of woman around her BF/Husband etc since the man can be swayed to her and she could lose him.
This is stupid. Nobody steals anybody away from anybody unless there is rape going on. The BF/Husband is responsible for his actions. Knowingly messing with a man who is married or taken, it's bad mojo, but he chose it. No man is helpless to resist sex just because it's available. That's just dumb.
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Some men scorn the woman since she is not selective when it comes to mating and does anyone.
This is stupid, too. It reflects the ignorant attitude of someone who follows a set of rules and judges others without knowing them. I've never known a woman in my life (and I've known at least hundreds if not thousands of women) who would do "anyone." I've even known professional, paid sex workers, who will still turn a guy down if she doesn't like him.
But see, this is what I'm talking about though.
Because women know that some dudes think such things, if we care what a guy thinks, we might just make him wait. Otherwise, he might well assume that we'd do "anyone" or something.
Well. "Normal" guys at least. Not in my happy little world.
EDIT: My apologies, I want to clarify, I believe that some of the commonly held arguments you state here, are "stupid"...I am not calling you stupid. I don't think that these concepts help people behave in respectful or loving or decent ways to each other. It feels like viewing people as randy dogs, not human beings. I don't dig it.
I don't think it's a rule, but it's not unreasonable to be uncomfortable dating someone who is having sex with someone else. And whatever motives we'd like to ascribe to objections to this, being uncomfortable with an arrangement is ample reason to pass on it. And as you said, the person passed on still has the FWB.
So I guess I'd bring the conversation around to my intentions, finding a LTR, and that I focus on that to the exclusion of other types of relationships. And ask how she handles this? If she says she wants or needs to maintain an FWB I would likely decide to continue dating her, but I'd have other questions or talking points like safety, timing, clear expectations should we start having sex, and probably some reassurance that I'm special and the other guy is just good for f------. I really can grasp that intellectually, but emotionally that's a tough sell. It really feels special when I'm getting f-----, so it might confuse me on the feels level.
If it is THAT important to you then bring it up and discuss it - don't throw a fit after the fact. Be an ADULT. Not everyone is like you or thinks like you and they don't have to to. Adults need to stop assuming.
If it is THAT important to you then bring it up and discuss it - don't throw a fit after the fact. Be an ADULT. Not everyone is like you or thinks like you and they don't have to to. Adults need to stop assuming.
I may or may not agree with your definition of ADULT, but despite your skill at capitalization, you may not be the final word on who is or isn't all grown up.
You say that the name calling happens because it's easy for women to get laid, and praise for men because it's more challenging. And here is where we are disconnecting. I'm saying that women abstain from more casual things like FWB/FB and wait for relationships and worry about being too fast or too easy...BECAUSE...we get the judgment. You get the judgement from other women and white knights. The majority of guys will flock to that girl for easy sex and not having to put an effort.
I was so happy to pin this down, you and I are having a chicken and egg argument! You're saying, judgement is there because it's easy for women, I'm saying it's more difficult for men because judgement is there. See it?? Men are pressured to have sex with multiple women. Women are pressured not to have too many partners.
This is stupid. Nobody steals anybody away from anybody unless there is rape going on. The BF/Husband is responsible for his actions. Knowingly messing with a man who is married or taken, it's bad mojo, but he chose it. No man is helpless to resist sex just because it's available. That's just dumb. Uh seriously? It takes two to tango. The institution of marriage was created to prevent people from straying away from each other. Some people (men/women) like the forbidden fruit.
I've even known professional, paid sex workers, who will still turn a guy down if she doesn't like him. Yeah right!
Ta answer Rigo00123, No we never discussed exclusivity, so yeah, I get it. She can do whatevre she wants. Of course, so can I.
To answer LovesMountains, Yes I DO want to go out ina blaze of glory caue I feel played. I came here to get womens' views / rationales of her behavior.
To answer AverageGuy2006, yup, I agree completely. She was playing me as a sucker and as long term material while gettting it somewhere else.
First, I'm a woman.
Second...maybe she wasn't cool with sleeping with 2 people at the same time. Maybe she really DID want to see if there was something worth investing in with you, before sleeping with you.
How would you have felt if you found out she was sleeping with both of you at the same time? Would that have been better? Something tells me you'd say "no, that would not have been better."
So...you're mad that someone else got to milk the cow while you were on the payment plan for said cow?
I've never known a woman in my life (and I've known at least hundreds if not thousands of women) who would do "anyone." I've even known professional, paid sex workers, who will still turn a guy down if she doesn't like him.
If even hookers are turning you down, just end it all now!
While it is (generally) much easier for women to find men who will have sex with them, it is very difficult to find men who are good at sex. (I've heard this many, many times from women, and swinger friends who have a lot of basis for comparison.)
And while it is a greater challenge for men to find women who will have sex with them, they will almost always enjoy it and get off.
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