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Finally got my surgery date at the end of January. Both boobs will be--gone. It's a big tumor that didn't show up on mammo or ultrasound. I am exploring plenty of alternatives but will also most likely follow doc's orders as well. I am not looking forward to this but will think of it as a challenge and a puzzle to be solved. I thank all of you for your concern.
I have a friend who just went through this, and she was out partying (albeit slowly) just a week after her surgery (both breasts removed). The peace of mind knowing that tumor is gone will also be a huge relief. Having watched a couple people go through this sort of thing, I can honestly say that the diagnosis and lead-up to the surgery seem like the most stressful parts, largely because it's all such a big scary unknown.
I have a friend who just went through this, and she was out partying (albeit slowly) just a week after her surgery (both breasts removed). The peace of mind knowing that tumor is gone will also be a huge relief. Having watched a couple people go through this sort of thing, I can honestly say that the diagnosis and lead-up to the surgery seem like the most stressful parts, largely because it's all such a big scary unknown.
Well I hope you all had a Merry Christmas and NY and got everything you wanted and ate all you wanted and lost the weight already lol. I appreciate all the kind wishes and glad I found such great friends on here. Surgery is actually the 16th so coming up soon. But I don't want to talk about that.
I came back to say that we are still texting and emailing quite often--almost never a phone convo or a real meeting though. I still don't know what to think about it but he is so sweet and says very nice things to me when he writes and he's so funny. So, I have just taken a big step back and as with my dx I'm just going to accept whatever comes my way--he may just be waiting to see how bad it is before he commits any further too. I'm preparing myself to have him email one day and say he's dating someone else and that will hurt but it happens all the time to people. Still, for now the letters are fun and they have gotten deeper. I guess I just wonder why a man would do this if he were not all that interested? I mean if you're lonely but not interested, the letters would have a more brotherly/friendly and less um, of a strong flirty tone, for lack of a better term? I mean, he talks to me like we're already dating. Or am I being naive again? And needy? LOL, it's fun anyway.
I mean, you could just say, "I don't know what we're doing. The way you write to me sounds like we're dating, when I know we aren't."
Then see how he responds.
Yes I've asked a couple of times and he hasn't really responded to that particular question. I did make it clear though that it would be cruel to lead me on in my present circumstances, which he is very aware of. I'm guessing he doesn't really know how to answer it and he's said things like he can see us in a future relationship but wants to take it veerrry slow. Well we're taking it slow all right. I guess I'm comparing things too much to the way I feel and while normally I'm a patient person, I'm not on this lol. I guess I should stop overthinking it but you all know how hard that can be with someone you really like.
It sounds like he is confused. I say let him hang around now as a diversion for what you're going through, but don't take it too seriously. It sounds like the distance between the two of you is a major obstacle, unfortunately. Its always nice to have friends who support you when you're going through a tough time.
Good luck with your surgery.
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It's a big tumor that didn't show up on mammo or ultrasound. I am exploring plenty of alternatives but will also most likely follow doc's orders as well. I am not looking forward to this but will think of it as a challenge and a puzzle to be solved. I thank all of you for your concern. 
I guess I'm comparing things too much to the way I feel and while normally I'm a patient person, I'm not on this lol. I guess I should stop overthinking it but you all know how hard that can be with someone you really like.
