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Latest update on this: I did see him again and asked him the question about being married and watched his reaction carefully--I worded it to include SO's. I'm now pretty sure he's not but I put an end to this the other day b/c of the fact that he's still in the dating pool--we never were exclusive yet. With everything I have going on it will just be too painful if he finds someone else to date and writes me the "dear stepka" letter. I told him that it's b/c everything just hurts worse right now. He agreed and said that he's been holding back b/c of the distance and that we should not try to date right now.
So, that brings me to this: I'm thinking that a man would drive 5 hours, at least sometimes, to see a woman if she was the right woman. Am I right? I wouldn't be going on like this except that there was more spark there (for me anyway and it seemed for him) than with anyone I've ever gone on a first and second date with. Or am I just projecting something on someone who barely knows me? Well it matters not since I ended it, but I keep thinking about it b/c it's easier on my mind than the other crap I have to deal with right now.
I wouldn't discount the 5 hr drive thing. I think on some level maybe you are being a bit of a "romantic" I think people get much more pragmatic as they get older, I'm in my mid 40's and I gotta say, I'd be hard pressed to deal with a long distance thing even if I felt like she were the "one", unless I knew somebody would be relocating fairly soon.....
Thanks guys, I do understand that romance is not on the plate right now b/c of other things--we started this before I got sick, but not much before. I certainly would not expect a brand new romance to be there for me thru this tough time, though he said he was willing but then kept saying the drive was too far so I just didn't know if I was receiving mixed messages or if he really was saying what he meant. I think Chow is right--I'm a hopeless romantic and always have been. Anyway that's why I decided on the NC thing--it's too hard otherwise.
Liberated, I went out and bought a jigsaw puzzle last night. Will that keep my mind off things?
"Intelligent, pretty as a picture, sweet, kind, witty."
What compliments--no matter how this turns out, Stepka, that is SO nice.
If I ever received a message like that from a man, I'd keep it for the rest of my life and read it every day, even if I never saw him again. No one ever has or ever will describe me as "pretty", that's for sure, but I'd still be flying high if a man described me with the other words in that phrase, too. Very touching.
With everyone else here, I'm pulling for a good outcome for your health, too.
Well, I have certainly BTDT, your last sentence. How are things going, anyway, healthwise?
As for the 5 hours / right woman question, I dunno. That is a LONG drive. I am not sure you can measure his enthusiasm by that.
But you may not really be in a place for dating, right now.
Hugs, if you want them.
Finally got my surgery date at the end of January. Both boobs will be--gone. It's a big tumor that didn't show up on mammo or ultrasound. I am exploring plenty of alternatives but will also most likely follow doc's orders as well. I am not looking forward to this but will think of it as a challenge and a puzzle to be solved. I thank all of you for your concern.
Finally got my surgery date at the end of January. Both boobs will be--gone. It's a big tumor that didn't show up on mammo or ultrasound. I am exploring plenty of alternatives but will also most likely follow doc's orders as well. I am not looking forward to this but will think of it as a challenge and a puzzle to be solved. I thank all of you for your concern.
You will be in my thoughts and prayers stepka. Be well!
Finally got my surgery date at the end of January. Both boobs will be--gone. It's a big tumor that didn't show up on mammo or ultrasound. I am exploring plenty of alternatives but will also most likely follow doc's orders as well. I am not looking forward to this but will think of it as a challenge and a puzzle to be solved. I thank all of you for your concern.
A big tumor that DIDN'T show up on a mammogram?! That's scary! I'm amazed you're able to keep your spirits up, you have a good attitude. You have our support, we're here for you.
A big tumor that DIDN'T show up on a mammogram?! That's scary! I'm amazed you're able to keep your spirits up, you have a good attitude. You have our support, we're here for you.
No, the scary thing is around 10% of them don't. You still have to do the self exam, which is how I found mine. Thanks all for your kind wishes--it will be a weird Christmas but my girls will be here.
Oh and Mighty Queen I meant to say that I printed out what he said and added it to my happy box--the box I keep with every nice thing anyone has ever said to me and I suspect I'll be leafing thru that often in the near future.
. Just turn off those Christmas carols and put on some upbeat music when you puzzle through the puzzle.
I like this advice
Merry Christmas Stepka!
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It's a big tumor that didn't show up on mammo or ultrasound. I am exploring plenty of alternatives but will also most likely follow doc's orders as well. I am not looking forward to this but will think of it as a challenge and a puzzle to be solved. I thank all of you for your concern. 
