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Good friends are hard to find once you get older. Almost everyone I know has a family or moved away. Also I read as you get older you only have time for 5 relationships / friendships.
What?
Where did you read that?
I don't know what you consider old, but at 58 I would have to say that's way off base.
The kids are raised, and obligations have been met, leaving plenty of time to spend with people.
I've been told to see a therapist, however I have no idea when I will become dateable. Meanwhile, this want for intimacy brings loneliness and depression.
What does this mean? You don't intend to seek therapy until you are datable? Sweetpea, you need help today. I am not trying to be mean. Post, after post, after post about this struggle makes it clear that you need SOMETHING that you are never going to get with yet one more post to this group.
I've asked the same question before. This is what I told myself many times. I gave myself tough love. And people do say I'm hard on myself, so here it goes. Just picture me shouting in the mirror.
"How do you cope with a desire for intimacy? BY GETTING YOUR DAM HEAD OUT OF YOUR A$$ AND GOING FOR IT!!! THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON THAT YOU CAN'T GET THAT!!!
I'M SORRY, DO YOU HAVE AN STD? HERPES??? HIV??? I GOT NEWS FOR YOU!!! TONS OF PEOPLE WITH HIV ARE GETTING ACTION, THEY'RE JUST POPPING PILLS EVERY MINUTE OF THE DAY!!!
DON'T GIVE ME ANY OF THAT CRAP ABOUT HEIGHT, YOUR FRIEND IS 4 FOOT 9 AND IS DATING A WOMAN WHO IS TALLER THAN MOST!!!
OH, YOU ARE UGLY??? TWO THINGS!!! ONE!!! YOUR FRIEND HAS GOT A UNIBROW, A BIG NOSE, A NASTY CROOK IN HIS EYE, AND HE IS LANDING SOME. WANT ANOTHER EXAMPLE??? MICK JAGGER!!! END OF STORY!!! GO OUT AND TAKE A LOOK AROUND AT THE GENERAL POPULATION AND LOOK AT ALL THE COUPLES THAT YOU SEE!!!
TWO!!!YOU AIN'T UGLY, YOU JUST GOT TO CUT AWAY 10-20 LBS OF FAT AND YOU'LL BE A REGULAR DENZEL!!!
YOU KNOW WHAT THE BIGGEST THING THAT IS HOLDING YOU BACK FROM WHAT YOU WANT??? IT IS YOU!!! IT'S NOT THAT THEY DON'T LIKE YOU!!! IT'S THAT YOU DON'T LIKE YOU!!!
YOU GOT HANG UPS! SO BEFORE YOU EVEN THINK ABOUT THE IDEA OF A DATE, GIRLFRIEND, SEX, LOVE AND ALL THE REST, YOU BEST ADDRESS THOSE HANG UPS BECAUSE THEY ARE DEFINITELY GOING TO LOWER YOUR SUCCESS RATE FROM 10% TO 0!!!
ALSO, YOU MIGHT NOT GET WHAT YOU WANT!!!
SO WHAT?! LIFE GOES ON!!! YOU'VE MADE IT THIS FAR!!! YOU AIN'T DOING SO BAD!!! FIND SOMETHING YOU WANT (other than them ladies) AND GO AFTER IT!!!
YOU AIN'T GOING TO BE HAPPY WITH LIFE UNTIL YOU ARE HAPPY WITH YOU!!!"
Customize this message however way you need for it to suit you hurricane. Like I said to myself, I say it to you. You don't like you. You need to do some kind of soul searching and find what it is that will make you happy with you. It can't be landing some tail because that obviously isn't working.
You don't have to be like this. I'm PROOF of that.
First off, stop using CAPS since I do not really get the message when people are shouting. Second of all it's not that I don't like myself, it's just that I don't like my baggage.
What does this mean? You don't intend to seek therapy until you are datable? Sweetpea, you need help today. I am not trying to be mean. Post, after post, after post about this struggle makes it clear that you need SOMETHING that you are never going to get with yet one more post to this group.
No you misunderstood, I said I won't be able to date until I finish therapy. And who knows when that will be. Depressing thought.
First off, stop using CAPS since I do not really get the message when people are shouting. Second of all it's not that I don't like myself, it's just that I don't like my baggage.
First off, You don't get the message when people are talking to you normally either.
This self pity gets old.
Second Off: You don't like your baggage. So what are you doing with it?
Drop it off at the nearest trash bin and move on.
Carrying your BS around and crying about it isn't going to get rid of it now, is it?
It is time to make a choice.
Do you want to take your life back and live it to the utmost abundance?
Or do you want to whine about how bad you had it, have it, or will have it? There are people who live much worse lives and are happier about their lives. There are people who have turned their crap around and lived productively.
First off, stop using CAPS since I do not really get the message when people are shouting. Second of all it's not that I don't like myself, it's just that I don't like my baggage.
First off, I don't blame the poster for using all cap and shouting, because you did not get the message from all the talk over the past few weeks.
Second of all, you are your baggage. It is part of you until you decide to lose it. Apparently you really like carrying it all around...
First off, I don't blame the poster for using all cap and shouting, because you did not get the message from all the talk over the past few weeks.
Second of all, you are your baggage. It is part of you until you decide to lose it. Apparently you really like carrying it all around...
Some people can't handle life, as evidence by those that snap and hurt themselves or others. Maybe some people are best staying separated from society.
No maybe about it. We have all types of people including those that are as you describe in bolded.
Meh... not really.
We both told him to get rid of it... that is all that matters!
But he will still be confused, and still refuse to get help, and still post the same things every week.
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