Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
The point of my thread is to find out if a man is interested in a woman, will he follow her lead if she chats him up, is flirting, and gives all indication that she's interested in him. I've been told and read time and time again, a man who is interested won't let the woman he's interested in walk away without at least giving it a try. I wanted to see if that meshed with what the man on this forum think.
You've been told time and time again....by books and novels.
I should note a slight subtly too. I don't feel I am getting "rejected" at all. I am not rejected, the date is. Just because a man doesn't have enough interest in me to date or even ask for my number doesn't mean I am rejected as a person or he thinks I am a bad person...
Ok so we agree then. Women don't get rejected like guys do.
You've been told time and time again....by books and novels.
Not novels. I don't read that romance crap (I am more into FSF, horror, and action adventure). The books I am talking about are more along the line of the self help books like Men are From Mars..., He's Just not that Into You, His Needs/Her Needs, Love Languages, etc.
It was your passion for arguing with me on the topic that got me thinking what I read could be wrong. It's why I asked the question. And while the poll results seem to indicated that for the most part, what I've read is right, there is a subset of men who will never take the initiative and ask for a number/date/cup of coffee/whatever for various reasons--many legit concerns.
I can sympathize with those reasons, but from my view point of me trying to find a relationship, their inability or disinterest in doing the "flirtation dance" is irrelevant. It seems like most men would indeed follow though and I don't need every man to follow though, just one who is serious about me. From my point of view, my chances of that man being serious are better if he "clearly" takes an interest in me--just like I am taking an interest in him.
Ok so we agree then. Women don't get rejected like guys do.
That's all I wanted to hear lol.
Well, I do agree with you that women don't get rejected like guys do because men and women reject differently. Women will let you know right off they aren't interested. Men will string you along (I speculate either out of not wanting to hurt her feelings or out of a sense of "well, I got nothing else going on") Neither is particularly fun I imagine. I just know from my end, I like to know right off, "Hey, are you interested or what because if you really aren't, I'd like to spend time finding someone who is."
But that's not what I was saying, in what you quoted. I was saying I don't take a "rejection" to heart. Just because someone else doesn't see you as a potential relationship, it just means you aren't that person's type or they aren't looking or whatever. It has nothing to do with you as the one who didn't get asked out. Maybe it's just my way of seeing the world.
This is the truth about men (and women) who are NOT currently looking for a relationship. People who tend to look tend to see a lot more, they tend to notice people who tend to "take their measure" and who are waging if they'd approach or not, and so on.
This effect of "not looking after something" is very true fact of life not only in dating but also in seeking for an affair. People who seek for an affair or give off such vibes will be hit on much more frequently in general. It's also true in work environment. If you don't seriously look after a new job, it seems as if there are no other jobs and employers seeking for someone. Once you are seriously determined to look after a new job, you tend to think that job opportunities suddenly started showing up and you start waging if these opportunities are better or worse of what you already have.
Or this could be someone who women have never showed any interest women answer me this if a man has never had a date or girlfriend how does he know your interested unless your direct. I always hear women ask men this question.
Hey if you like your current situation, only date guys who take the risk to ask you out and thus keep that number small. Hey, no problem. Continue doing what you are doing.
However, If a woman frustrated with lack of dates, then THEY need to change your habits rather than blame guys for whatever. Rather than say ridiculous things like, "I always get rejected by guys!"
If you aren't frustrated, then you continue doing what you are doing and everything is fine.
Hey if you like your current situation, only date guys who take the risk to ask you out and thus keep that number small. Hey, no problem. Continue doing what you are doing.
However, If a woman frustrated with lack of dates, then THEY need to change your habits rather than blame guys for whatever. Rather than say ridiculous things like, "I always get rejected by guys!"
If you aren't frustrated, then you continue doing what you are doing and everything is fine.
I'd agree with you there too. Quality over quality is the way I see it.
Well, I do agree with you that women don't get rejected like guys do because men and women reject differently. Women will let you know right off they aren't interested. Men will string you along (I speculate either out of not wanting to hurt her feelings or out of a sense of "well, I got nothing else going on") Neither is particularly fun I imagine. I just know from my end, I like to know right off, "Hey, are you interested or what because if you really aren't, I'd like to spend time finding someone who is."
But that's not what I was saying, in what you quoted. I was saying I don't take a "rejection" to heart. Just because someone else doesn't see you as a potential relationship, it just means you aren't that person's type or they aren't looking or whatever. It has nothing to do with you as the one who didn't get asked out. Maybe it's just my way of seeing the world.
Must I say this the man has to know your interested for you to be rejected otherwise it's a fantasy.
The way I see it, if a man is not at all interested in me or on the fence and doesn't think I am worth 'the risk', then he's not going to ask. But if a man is really interested in me, finds me attractive, he's not going to just let me walk away without trying.
I agree with your conclusion and I believe everyone else here does too except some of them won't admit it. There are a few guys who claimed they wouldn't ask for your number even if they were interested because they are just so good at dating, they don't mind missing a few opportunities. Translation: they are not that interested. I don't care how good you are at dating, if you think a woman is a genuine opportunity, you will go for it. And then there are those who say they wouldn't ask for your number because they can't be sure if it's just friendly chitchat. Translation: if they knew your intent, they would ask. In this case, they are not disagreeing with your conclusion, they just have doubts you can flirt in such an obvious way to make your interest clear. I think the only guys you will miss out on are the ultra shy ones who may be very interested in you but are so shut in, you will forever have to take charge in the relationship. Unless you like this type of guy, I think your strategy is sound.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
