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The odds of this situation actually happening to me in this lifetime is about the same as seeing a unicorn flying over a rainbow pooping mini starburst candies on everyone as it gallops.
Oh, and I would assume that someone gave me LSD, since that's the only way I can imagine this happening.
If an unfamiliar woman initiates a conversation with me at random, I would likely only ask for her number if two conditions were met. One, I felt at least moderately attracted to her, and two, she made it blatantly obvious somehow that this conversation wasn't just started to be friendly chit-chat. If only condition one is met, or neither, I'm erring on the side of politeness and assuming she's just filling time with friendly chit-chat.
Sometimes yes, others no. Gun to my head, I'll say "no"....there are too many women out there that make small talk, even flirt just for the attention, but with no true interest whatsoever.
That said, I would go on at least one date with literally ANY woman that asked me. I respect that kind of moxie Yes, I'd date a "2" that asked me out over a "7" that was talking with me and waiting for me to ask her. Those kind of "7's" are eveywhere, but those 2's are rare.
Exactly. The women here on the board thinks that if she talks to a guy, she basically approached him.
Well, I must have approached 10 cashiers, 10 fitness instructors, 15 sales people, 50 coworkers, 20 friends, and like 30 strangers this month.
A woman can talk to a guy all she wants. That is not enough to demonstrate interest. At least in my case. Many women flirt but they do it for an ego boost.
Thanks for the answers so far! They are interesting to read and it's nice to get some insight.
The big issue I have with having to initial everything from breaking the ice to asking out is that I did do this during my last relationship. I broke the ice, made the first moves, made the dates, came on to him, and initiated our first sexual encounter... and I ended up being really into the guy too, but it turned out he wasn't all that into me. I was a "fun distraction" and he kind of went along with it because he had no other prospects. I ended up wasting several months on him and am still trying to "Get over" him.
So after being burned (in that respect) I am even more on guard. I don't want to risk wasting months of time on another fickle man. It would be nicer if men would just reject upfront instead going along with everything for the distraction. It's the difference between yanking off a bandaid and slowly pulling one off forever. But that doesn't seem to happen. Hence the conundrum for me (and I think other women as well) I want men who are really interested in me to make a move too... but so many of you pointed out a shy guy might not make a move even if he is interested.
I am having the same off topic discussion in two threads, so I figured I would just start a new one about the sub topic.
In the other threads, I talk about how I will approach a man, smile, flirt, engage in conversation, etc... but I won't ask his number (or other contact information). I leave that to him.
My outlook on it is most men I've met are very nice and friendly. They don't say "go away" if they aren't interested in me. They stay polite and chit chat. So the only way I have to know if a man is interested or not in me is whether or not he meets me halfway and takes that step and asks me my number.
The way I see it, if a man is not at all interested in me or on the fence and doesn't think I am worth 'the risk', then he's not going to ask. But if a man is really interested in me, finds me attractive, he's not going to just let me walk away without trying.
Now, the conversation in the other threads are that I should also ask for his number because a man won't ask (even if I did make the approach and even if he is interested). That seems counter-intuitive to me, but who knows, I could be wrong.
So tell me, if it were you and a woman walked up to you, smiled, flirted and initiated a conversation with you and showed interest in you; and you in turn found her to be attractive and you were interested in her, would you ask for her number?
EDIT: Sorry, typo in the poll question AND it got cut off. And I can't seem to edit/fix it. And a typo in the subject line. Ugh. Time for afternoon tea! Hopefully you get the idea.
If you're interested, ask the number (or any other way that you want, to keep in touch) before parting ways and to have a way to arrange a date some other day. I tend to do that and would do that regardless of who started the communication, if I'm really interested.
Just try to avoid awkward/miserable/silly stuff, I've seen some truly silly attempts that I just had to laugh how "silly" it was, to say the least.
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Depends on too many factors. How did the convo go? I might ask hers, might offer mine, might do none of the above. There is no one answer as no to interactions are identical.
I just went to a fitness class and the instructor approached me afterwards asking if I've done it before. Then we had a small talk. Does that mean she is interested?
Nope. Am I going to ask for her number. Definitely not.
She was 45 and I am 25.
I attended contractors meet and greet and everyone introduced themselves including the few women. Am I to assume they are interested simply because they talked to me and everyone else there?
Am I going to ask for her number? Definitely not.
lol just because a woman talks to you doesn't mean she is interested.
Quote:
Originally Posted by techcrium
Exactly. The women here on the board thinks that if she talks to a guy, she basically approached him.
Well, I must have approached 10 cashiers, 10 fitness instructors, 15 sales people, 50 coworkers, 20 friends, and like 30 strangers this month.
Yes - but how many of those women are you interested in dating? If you aren't interested in dating any of them - of course you aren't going to ask for their number. But if a woman started talking to you and you found yourself attracted to her and interested in her - would you ask for her number or just let her go?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31
Sometimes yes, others no. Gun to my head, I'll say "no"....there are too many women out there that make small talk, even flirt just for the attention, but with no true interest whatsoever.
That said, I would go on at least one date with literally ANY woman that asked me. I respect that kind of moxie Yes, I'd date a "2" that asked me out over a "7" that was talking with me and waiting for me to ask her. Those kind of "7's" are eveywhere, but those 2's are rare.
As much as I hate using the rating system because I find it degrading, what if a "9" started talking and flirting with you - and you wanted to go out with her. Would you ask for her number?
I would hate to live in a world where I could never talk to strangers without them thinking think it was tacit agreement to date them!
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Yes, I'd date a "2" that asked me out over a "7" that was talking with me and waiting for me to ask her. Those kind of "7's" are eveywhere, but those 2's are rare.
Hopefully you get the idea.
