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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,962,945 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jsun556
It's not even a site, lol. It's an app...
The OP refers to it as a site. Re read the title. We're comparing it on the basis of it as being a dating site, which is the entire point of the thread.
I know what it is. Downloaded and deleted it immediately as it looked worthless and it wanted to connect to personal/private info.
Oh, it can be. I just ended a thing with someone I met at a bus stop. It lasted a couple of months, but probably went 6 weeks too long. It's fun, but limiting... once the initial chemistry / spark is explored we just found out we weren't compatible. "Real life" meetings (the random ones) almost always seem to go that route. I find OLD superior as if it is a well written profile I can really get a sense of what makes that person tick and our compatibility in general. Very valuable.
I can't stand people that rely on a GPS...
That's what talking is for.
Makes ya wonder how the older generations ever managed to find some random person, begin a LTR and stay married until death did they part without written profiles and the like.
Even though folks will go on about the divorce rate it seems by the number of woe is me I cant get a date, online dating sucks, etc., back in the day before internet dating and phone apps it was easier for people to find a mate.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
That's what talking is for.
Makes ya wonder how the older generations ever managed to find some random person, begin a LTR and stay married until death did they part without written profiles and the like.
Even though folks will go on about the divorce rate it seems by the number of woe is me I cant get a date, online dating sucks, etc., back in the day before internet dating and phone apps it was easier for people to find a mate.
Sure, that works, it is less efficient though. People are busier and have more distractions than past generations. They worked less, or one gender didn't work at all, people weren't constantly working nights/weekends and going to night school, people traveled less and volunteered less. And people coupled up younger and quicker which honestly means most people spent less time with friends in their 30s/40s etc. Trying to schedule a date now is tough with coordinating calendars. Last week the person I was seeing and I found a total of 2-3 hrs to spend together, and we tried... our lifestyles and obligations just made it impossible.
In addition, from everything I've read, the older generations weren't happier. We have, at the least, higher expectations for our partners. There was much "he's a good provider" or "she's a great mother" type stuff in past generations, which is fine... but certainly now we expect more than that from our partners; we want a best friend, amazing lover, travel companion, etc in addition to everything (or most things) past generations wanted.
If you match a bot, they'll send you canned messages after matching.
^
This.
When I was really using the app, I was getting, on average, one-or-two a day, sometimes more.
I like the idea of mutual approval before you can contact / be contacted (regular online dating sites should apply this), but it's apparently shills for scam sites and/or to keep people playing the yes/no game (frankly, I'd just yes everybody and wait to see what came back... what's the advantage of no'ing any women?).
Downloaded and deleted it immediately as it looked worthless and it wanted to connect to personal/private info.
I haven't tried it but my impression is that it was originally geared more towards a younger audience (18-24ish). It seems to me the younger crowd isn't as concerned with protecting their privacy as those of us who are a bit older. I have a friend who is in her mid-20's I finally asked to stop tagging me when we were out of town because I generally don't like to announce when my house is going to be left unattended for long periods of time. She said it never occurred to her that was the message she was sending.
I would have the same reaction as timberline. I really don't see why seemingly everything has to be connected to my FB account these days and given access my personal/private information.
Sure, that works, it is less efficient though. People are busier and have more distractions than past generations. They worked less, or one gender didn't work at all, people weren't constantly working nights/weekends and going to night school, people traveled less and volunteered less. And people coupled up younger and quicker which honestly means most people spent less time with friends in their 30s/40s etc. Trying to schedule a date now is tough with coordinating calendars. Last week the person I was seeing and I found a total of 2-3 hrs to spend together, and we tried... our lifestyles and obligations just made it impossible.
In addition, from everything I've read, the older generations weren't happier. We have, at the least, higher expectations for our partners. There was much "he's a good provider" or "she's a great mother" type stuff in past generations, which is fine... but certainly now we expect more than that from our partners; we want a best friend, amazing lover, travel companion, etc in addition to everything (or most things) past generations wanted.
I, personally, think it is a good thing.
You poor, poor young'uns.
Maybe slow down, put down the distractions (devices, FB, Twitter, U-Tube).
Not sure I agree that people worked less. My grandparents worked from daylight till dark, six days a week and spent Sunday in Church. Thirty five hours a week is consider full time employment now. Lots of people have had to cut back to part-time due to the economy and many students don't work at all.
Not sure I agree older generations weren't happier. I'd say no more or no less than people are today. Sometimes I believe people today have too high of expectations for a potential partner and when that person doesn't fulfill all those requirements its, next.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
You poor, poor young'uns.
Maybe slow down, put down the distractions (devices, FB, Twitter, U-Tube).
Not sure I agree that people worked less. My grandparents worked from daylight till dark, six days a week and spent Sunday in Church. Thirty five hours a week is consider full time employment now. Lots of people have had to cut back to part-time due to the economy and many students don't work at all.
Not sure I agree older generations weren't happier. I'd say no more or no less than people are today. Sometimes I believe people today have too high of expectations for a potential partner and when that person doesn't fulfill all those requirements its, next.
I don't mean those distractions... I don't do any of those really, nor do I have TV/cable... but people work 50-60+ hrs regularly outside of commutes (last person I date was closer to 80 more weeks than not), have continuing certifications, or another degree... I spend as much time in airports traveling for work or other traveling as I do socializing, more really. That isn't uncommon. Add book groups, dance groups, people working on their art, garden, maintaining relationships with their friends, caring for older family members, being involved with charity events, community serving, alumni groups, etc etc etc... there is a never ending stream of obligations most professional adults have nowadays. Last weekend just for one example was our open studios and I was working it (volunteering), the weekend before my lady friend of the time was teaching an all weekend workshop... these things are more the norm than not... having both people have a weekend off is a few times a year thing it seems (at least among the people I know and have known in other place I've lived).
I will agree with you on the too high an expectation thing.
I'd also point out your grandparents were working that hard when they were coupled so they already met, big difference.
I don't mean those distractions... I don't do any of those really, nor do I have TV/cable... but people work 50-60+ hrs regularly outside of commutes (last person I date was closer to 80 more weeks than not), have continuing certifications, or another degree... I spend as much time in airports traveling for work or other traveling as I do socializing, more really. That isn't uncommon. Add book groups, dance groups, people working on their art, garden, maintaining relationships with their friends, caring for older family members, being involved with charity events, community serving, alumni groups, etc etc etc... there is a never ending stream of obligations most professional adults have nowadays. Last weekend just for one example was our open studios and I was working it (volunteering), the weekend before my lady friend of the time was teaching an all weekend workshop... these things are more the norm than not... having both people have a weekend off is a few times a year thing it seems (at least among the people I know and have known in other place I've lived).
I will agree with you on the too high an expectation thing.
I'd also point out your grandparents were working that hard when they were coupled so they already met, big difference.
Hard for me to imagine. I don't see singles in my area working that many hours nor volunteering nor taking on the responsibility of family members, certainly not doing charity work or community service (unless its court ordered). They have more free time than most. In fact when they aren't hanging out with friends they seem to be bored. I guess its location.
Honestly if a person has that much going on and so little free time I don't think a LTR should be in the picture. No wonder the new generation is all about hook-ups. They don't have time to establish a relationship. I cant imagine where a spouse or children would fit into their schedule.
I work 40, commute 7 1/2, keep my house livable and the farm maintained, spend time on the weekends with gkids and hang with friends ~10 hrs a week and have a few hobbies and I don't have time for dating, book clubs, dancing or volunteering. How the heck do you do it.
And actually my grandparents worked like that before they were married. Even my grandmother. Back then women did not just sit around.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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No offense, 2mares... but you're in Tennessee, it is location. I haven't lived there, but did in KY... and well, it's the South (people seemed to hunt, fish, and 4wheel drive as much or more than work). The lifestyle, pace, and professional requirements in places I've lived and prefer to live (Chicago, Boston, San Francisco, etc) are a completely different world.
We do it by coordinating schedules and trying to get to see each other, if all goes well, for a dinner or lunch a week, and hopefully an overnight stay (often meeting up at 9 or 10 and get up and get out a 5) a week. That's really the norm. Twice a week dates would be, and is, a fairly serious relationship.
(The court ordered community service is a nice insert... haha... I'm not active in it, but I help with the Open Studios every year, do our alumni group's community servings (feeding people at a shelter), networking group, and yearly scholarship auction event planning/solicitation, and a couple of nights a month with a local environmental group that works on a watershed I care about). That is pretty minimal stuff for my peer group. I know many people that do a lot more... or are constantly working on additional masters or certifications)
I'm in Indianapolis and OKC and POF have some good looking women and a lot of average or ugly women, but the women on Tinder are almost all in their 20s and uniformly 7/10 or better? Does Tinder just attract a different demographic?
The problem is...you still have the same shot with said girls, which is slim to none.
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