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I will say this about the site: it is allowing me to more fine tune what it is I'm looking for. For example, I read one yesterday that seemed like someone I would send a message to until I got to the question where he said he has no desire to see the world. A partner I can travel with is huge for me.
I can understand where some of the cliches come from too. I was chatting with someone who would have been long distance and had already said he has no problems moving for the right woman. His profile also says he doesn't really have any hobbies. I got to thinking about what it would be like to date someone who just moved here, doesn't know anyone other than me and has no hobbies of their own. I do enough "cruise directing" organizing Meetup events. I need a partner with a life outside of just me. I need a partner who can say "You have bunco on Wednesday, right? Because Fred and I were talking about checking out that new movie you have no desire to see."
Got responses to your messages?
Got messages that turned into actual dates?
Dates turned into actual relationships?
Relationships turned into marriage?
I hear in the online dating world there is a lot of serial dating as people have so much choice they are always of the mindset that there is something better out there, this is especially true for women who get inundated with replies. Do you think there is any truth to this?
OK cupid has been pretty bad for me. The issue I seem to be having is I must be a "polarizing" person and although some attractive women really like me enough women don't that ok cupid has decided I'm ugly and is constantly trying to match me up with ugly women. Its annoying and have to let my average rise every once in a while by staying offline and let my profile collect a lot of likes before it will show me women I'm attracted to again. With that in mind POF is a better website because it doesn't care if you have a 90% failure rate and I can be in control of my matches.
To your other questions:
Got responses to your messages? About 10-20% on POF when I'm here in NYC and its worse everywhere else. Probably closer to 10% on OKC.
Got messages that turned into actual dates? Some on POF never on OKC
Dates turned into actual relationships? Not yet but I've only been in this for a few months
Relationships turned into marriage? LOL hopefully not for another 10 years
As to the nature of online dating it seems to me that it favors women because there are so many more men than women that they can afford to be pickier and downright nasty and still get dates with men that are pretty decent for them. If an average woman wanted she could go on a date every night of the week with a normal enough guy. At the end of the day that's the beast you're dealing with.
Yeah, I think "interests" is a better way of putting it than "hobbies."
I like that word better, but still, a lot of my "interests" are private and I don't necessarily want to share them with other people, but I also don't want people assuming that I don't have any interests just because I don't want to talk about them. lol
I like that word better, but still, a lot of my "interests" are private and I don't necessarily want to share them with other people, but I also don't want people assuming that I don't have any interests just because I don't want to talk about them. lol
Got responses to your messages?
Got messages that turned into actual dates?
Dates turned into actual relationships?
Relationships turned into marriage?
I hear in the online dating world there is a lot of serial dating as people have so much choice they are always of the mindset that there is something better out there, this is especially true for women who get inundated with replies. Do you think there is any truth to this?
Getting back to the original post, I have sent messages to 5 men.
1) Only from 1. The other 4 never even checked out my profile.
2) No.
3) & 4) N/A due to #2 being no.
I guess I just need to be more persistent and patient. One specific complaint I could make about the OK Cupid "matching" system is that most guys hardly fill out any of the matching questions... so they don't give out a lot of info about themselves, and the "system" doesn't make matches as well as it could. It's better than nothing though. I think if people filled out more questions it'd be a great filtering system.
The questions do come in handy for mentioning potential deal breakers or issues in responses to messages:
Question: "Do you believe homosexuality is a sin?" Him: Yes, Me: No.
Him (initial message): "hello what are you up to today?"
Me: "I'm waiting for my friend and her wife to finish grooming my dogs so we can go have lunch."
It was either that, which really is what I was doing, or "Wondering if there are any men over the age of 30 on this site who can write a grammatically correct sentence."
^
Like I've said before, I think many people SAY they are tired of everyone being the same, boring archetype... but in practice, they don't actually want anything to do with people are actually different than said monotony. Case in point: My 'stupid' haircut.
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