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Maybe I have weird expectations for a date: good conversation and a fun time. Everything else is a bonus. If your metric is "fun" then the amount you pay is based on how much you want to spend for entertainment....
I have always dated guys who are willing to pay for dates. But I always offer to pay my share. So paying for dates has never been an issue for me.
This is not politically correct for me to say, but I do find guys who pay for dates more attractive.
As part of my goal of being more open-minded towards who I'd accept dates from, I ended up running into a much wider range of incomes.
And being honest here, a lot of people in jobs with salaries like mine are just super boring, so I decided the best way to find more interesting people is to skip the people with jobs like mine! And sure enough, some of the people were way more interesting.
If I lived in another region, there would probably be more variety, but not where I live!
Personally I just prefer to go dutch until we are considered an "item." I just don't like to invest in things unless I know there will be some long term returns/benefits. I've had dates that have felt the same way too.
Any form of entitlement. Let's stick with making out for the sake of this argument. If I pay for your meal, am I entitled to a make-out session?
I understand how asking someone to dinner would make the guest assume the host would be paying, but I cant for the life of me understand how someone paying for something for another person would lead them to believe that person should engage in intimate sexual relations.
Not if you pay for my meal but if I invite you into my bed, yeah.
I understand how asking someone to dinner would make the guest assume the host would be paying, but I cant for the life of me understand how someone paying for something for another person would lead them to believe that person should engage in intimate sexual relations.
My friend sent an email this week to a few of us about going to brunch this weekend. Imagine her face when I sit there without reaching for my wallet when the waiter comes to collect our payment.
But 2mares from C-D told me it's fair for me to assume that you would pay for my meal, and the rest of ours for that matter. You invited me to brunch after all. Isn't the responsibility on you?
I understand how asking someone to dinner would make the guest assume the host would be paying, but I cant for the life of me understand how someone paying for something for another person would lead them to believe that person should engage in intimate sexual relations.
Not if you pay for my meal but if I invite you into my bed, yeah.
That's why going dutch in the beginning/just getting to know you phase is best. When each person pays for themselves there really are no expectations of any sort. I if I wait till I've established some sort of relationship with the other party then I have no problem paying. I'm not one of those guys who expects to get some just because I've paid for a nice dinner, but if I'm in an established relationship with that person, I'm likely going to get some anyway lol.
I also don't buy drinks for anyone if I'm out at a bar or lounge because I've seen attractive girls use their looks & charm to sucker some poor guy into subsidizing their inebriation. They'll make the guy think he's going to get something in return at the end of the night but nearly every time they're just going to say "Thanks, bye!" and the guy never hears from them again. I always just go dutch in these situations & ask them to have a drink with me, or I've even been bold enough in the past to ask them if they'd buy ME a drink. If they bought me one, I'd always buy one for them in return, or compensate them in some other manner *wink*
That's why going dutch in the beginning/just getting to know you phase is best. When each person pays for themselves there really are no expectations of any sort. I if I wait till I've established some sort of relationship with the other party then I have no problem paying. I'm not one of those guys who expects to get some just because I've paid for a nice dinner, but if I'm in an established relationship with that person, I'm likely going to get some anyway lol.
I also don't buy drinks for anyone if I'm out at a bar or lounge because I've seen attractive girls use their looks & charm to sucker some poor guy into subsidizing their inebriation. They'll make the guy think he's going to get something in return at the end of the night but nearly every time they're just going to say "Thanks, bye!" and the guy never hears from them again. I always just go dutch in these situations & ask them to have a drink with me, or I've even been bold enough in the past to ask them if they'd buy ME a drink. If they bought me one, I'd always buy one for them in return, or compensate them in some other manner *wink*
My friend sent an email this week to a few of us about going to brunch this weekend. Imagine her face when I sit there without reaching for my wallet when the waiter comes to collect our payment.
But 2mares from C-D told me it's fair for me to assume that you would pay for my meal, and the rest of ours for that matter. You invited me to brunch after all. Isn't the responsibility on you?
Its not that difficult for most people to distinguish between meeting a group of friends or associates for lunch and asking someone on a date. Intent is involved.
If I ask a friend if they would like to have lunch with me, I believe the assumption is I will pay for their lunch. If I say hay Joe ya want to grab a bite before class, I believe the assumption is dutch. If a group of co-worker go out to lunch even if it was asked by one the assumption is dutch unless the asker states that it is their treat.
A guy asks me if I would like to go out to diner with him, I would assume he is paying. A guy says why don't we meet up for coffee or a bite to eat, I assume dutch.
I know there is a lot of assumption and sometimes things are misunderstood so always be prepared to pay.
Maybe you should work on your presentation and intent or just outright make a declaration that you have no intent on paying for both tabs.
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What a mess! 
