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Well, he lost his mind and killed her. Not that there's an excuse for that but people should be aware they shouldn't take the initiative on violence. You're crossing a very dangerous line and never know how it'll end up.
I do seminars on conflict resolution and this is one of the main points I make each time. You NEVER know how much rage that other person has built up inside them. The quiet ones are sometimes the most dangerous. I found that out after years of managing people and having to fire some. You just never know. Why risk it? What do you have to lose when you walk away? Not much. A little pride. But not 10 years to Life!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Pinkmani
Amen! Hands to yourself!!!!
WOW! Not the ending I was expecting... What was he sentenced to?
Here's a spinoff: Would you press charges if a loved one assaults you?
If they assault me, they are not a "loved one."
Addendum to my earlier post:
After I learned that lesson and learned to respect MYSELF enough to not hit anyone else, I set some very clear boundaries with every man I dated thereafter. At some point on the first date, I made sure to make it clear, "Not Even Once. You hit me or raise your hand to me, I'm gone. It's over. There's no going back, no counseling sessions, no long talks into the night and roses the next day. NO." The problem with some people (and this is both genders) is that we assume other people are operating under our values and rules, so we think we can "fix" them.
An abuser is an abuser is an abuser. They may be able to fix themselves if they get enough feedback that their choices suck. But you can't fix them. And there's a very clear pattern that almost every abuser follows. Please teach this to your kids as well...
It starts with Insults and occasional punches or slaps
You don't stop them or tell them this is unacceptable behavior
Insults get worse, physical encounters get worse
You still don't stop them.
If you do stop them, they come back and apologize, usually with flowers or candy or promises to get better.
They start the uptick in hitting and insults again, pushing the boundaries to see what they can get away with.
You get tired of telling them to stop and start to doubt your own sanity
You start thinking maybe it's YOU and maybe they are right, that you aren't worthy of anything better
The violence escalates
You begin cowering, losing sleep, flinching, playing into their sick game.
They really do some damage and you wind up in the hospital
The cops come. You have a chance to file charges and either you don't, or you do and then withdraw them.
They are contrite and bring flowers, take care of you, apologize profusely, profess their undying love, tell you that you are the most important person in their life. They stop... for awhile
Then -- see the top of this bulleted list. It starts over again.
When the OJ trial began, there were numerous articles about this pattern, and how dangerous it is.
It's a sick dance. Think of the escalation as a stairway of 20 steps.
It goes from stair number 2 to 5, then back down to 4. Then up again to a 6 and back down to 3. Then up to 8 and back down to 7, then up and down and up and down. The arrest happens the first time on stair 10. They hang their head and go way back down to 2. Time passes and then, out of the blue, they might just come at you with a level 10 and start upwards from there. Death happens between stair numbers 15 and 20...
Teach your daughters not to take it and not to hit. Teach your sons not to hit and not to put up with crazy behavior like a woman who hits them. We have to instill this lesson early. Too many people wind up thinking it's their fault when they are dealing with a person in serious need of therapy.
Keep your wits about you! The world is full of wackadoodles!
WTF are you talking about? I was referring to the thread title - "put your hands on" is NOT what she is asking for. She wants to know about women's actions that would be considered assault - not defensive against assault.
You can't even read a post correctly because you are so anxious to find something to disagree with.
Yes, I had an abusive ex. She often threatened to accuse me of abusing her when I threatened to report her hostile behavior. With all the double standards in the world, I probably would have been the one convicted of a crime.
The cherry on top? I once called the police to ask them to help me get her out of my apartment, as she was harassing me and would not leave. They informed me that since she was an invited guest in my apartment, that they couldn't get her out, that I'd have to go through some eviction process.
The law is certainly not kind or favorable to men with regards to domestic violence.
Wow! Isn't that something? This world is definitely unfair.
My ex-girlfriend was arrested today for slapping me after filed assault charges on her. I won't hit a woman, but if she puts her hands on me, I will have her locked up.
My ex-girlfriend was arrested today for slapping me after filed assault charges on her. I won't hit a woman, but if she puts her hands on me, I will have her locked up.
People should think twice before taking the initiative to hit someone, man or woman.
I knew a woman who in the midst of an argument started hitting her boyfriend, absolutely convinced he would never do anything to her because she was a woman.
Nowadays his mother visits him every week in prison and her mother visits her every week in the cemetery.
LOL...
People need to NOT underestimate another human being.
I had one girl grab my ass, but that's all that happened. I've known guys who have been assaulted by their wives, but the police will always side with the woman unless you can prove on the spot you as the man did nothing wrong.
You actually bring up a good point and a situation I didn't consider.
I have been sexually grabbed by many women I did not know. I have had probably over a dozen women in my life at bars grab my ass. Full on, palm of hand, grab and squeeze. Several have been while I was wearing a more "revealing" Halloween costume. Not that it makes it acceptable. I don't go out much anymore, but about a year ago I was visiting a friend in Denver, and we were at a bar and a random girl comes up behind me, grabs my butt and says "sorry I just had to check" (whatever that means) and then she just walked away smiling..
I have had at least 1 woman I can recall come up and grab my "thing" for lack of appropriate term. I was wearing a Halloween costume at a bar and was wearing underwear and leather chaps. She just grabbed, smiled, and walked away.
This really is a double standard at it's finest. If a man did this to a woman, hell would break loose. He would likely get assaulted by her, or her friends, or possibly someone that saw it. I guarantee if I would have knocked a girl out that sexually grabbed me I didn't know, I'd be going to jail and she probably wouldn't get in trouble at all.
The difference is, many guys don't really care. Some may get uncomfortable, but in my situations I didn't mind too much.
I never really minded and often it was a good feeling to know that some of those women were attracted to me (or my fantastic butt apparently lol) I was single all the times except the one that happened about a year ago when I was out with a friend. I told my gf and she was surprised it happened but also kind of laughed. She's in the same mindset as me, if other people check her out I feel complimented more than mad or jealous
Also to add, just because a man isn't supposed to put his hands on a woman, doesn't mean some men won't do it. They don't care if she's a female.
A human (regardless of genitals) should not put their hands on another human. If you do, you better be prepared for all outcomes.
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I was referring to the thread title - "put your hands on" is NOT what she is asking for. She wants to know about women's actions that would be considered assault - not defensive against assault. 
Guys, have you ever had a woman put her hands on you?
