Quote:
Originally Posted by Sjd1
Unfortunately it isn't rhetorical. I missed out on all this when I was young so unfortunately I'm in the position of being weird either way. The lesser of all evils is the choice unfortunately.
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I think the major issue is that you need to find a virgin like yourself or make a decision NOT to seek after her.
The whole "missed out" is rather repulsion towards women who aren't virgins and have slept with their boyfriend on the high school prom night, with a boyfriend during education (and they parted once their "educational" paths separated with one of them graduating), etc.
You feel like a loser if you date such women because you actually wanted to graduate, get a job, become something with your life - eventually establish yourself and save money to buy a house/live independently or establish contacts and your own business, etc.... yet some woman who meets you hasn't waited and she did as she pleased and what felt good to her.
You can't feel like you want to commit to her, she's damaged goods to you. It's only logical on her part that she won't wait for you to show up, but now she doesn't accept the logic that you don't want to play the traditional relationship with her because she reasoned or acted like that. It's a double standard that mainstream women show and it's definitely a female exuivalent to a double standard to mainstream men who want to sleep around and then bring a virginal bride, something that is regularly denied on this forum. You should NEVER accept that double standard, because you never practiced the other double standard in U.S. dating either.
It's about a choice in life: You'd rather not mind about her past if she's going to make it casual and so both of you can have a sexual relationship with no other obligations, or you want to avoid her and seek for that virgin-woman. This is why escorts are so attractive to you - now you have money at your disposal, you live on your own, if you want to experience sexual pleasures and live life the way you want then the option of indulging into sexual fantasies with escorts is definitely better than spending your time to go through hoops with some woman who "had her share of sexual thrills but now something more". You don't want to participate in her fantasy life because she isn't your fantasy bride. Oh well, such is life, reality is back - start acting like mainstream guys and bang women around or keep waiting for a virgin!
Plenty of posters in here don't understand this, they rather think if you're a virgin and over 25, then you must either be closeted homosexual, asexual weirdo or you must have some major emotional issues/abuse history, or you're hideously ugly. This kind of thinking shows that the posters who keep posting such stuff are ignorant and that they basically repeat what the TV told them each day and each year during their whole lives, because they basically act like parrots and repeat that same stuff.
So, listen up: your choice is to either seek for a virgin and an alternative to a virgin is to ditch this way of thinking because you sense you'll not find her and thus just keep "using any opportunity" and have sex with whomever you want, whenever you want, relationship or not. That's what makes you a "man" in America and if you're feeling you're missing on that then act on that. That's what you were missing on and that's what makes you a loser - some other men slept with your gf who wants to emulate her fantasy until her fantasy about commited relationship is gone in her mind. This is why relationships break so often in America - because so many men and women reason like this and it's perfectly fitting each other, it's all about the opportunity.
The most definite scenario that will make you both miserable and ultimately a loser: falling on a story from one of these women (possibly with a child already present) that she's been miserable in all her relationships, that previous boyfriend(s) were abusive, etc. Making it bold, just in case you got bored reading - avoid that scenario. She's basically the equivalent of a guy who uses any opportunity to have sex and fun, she only faced the outcome where life hits hard upon her life choices. Don't try to fix that, everyone deserves a second chance but don't be their second chance yourself, just hit it and move on, lots of folks in USA just prey on the weak-minded or naive men who fall for that!
A guy who tries to help a woman with previous relationship issues (or for her being single and aging) has an equivalent among women as well: it's a woman who tries to help a recovering addict or an ex convict to turn into/remain a respectable citizen. While the ideal scenario usually talks about lifetime gratitude and happily-ever-after outcome, reality is usually the exact opposite and this is why you should avoid it and let those in need of a "second chance" to seek such chance with another folks who also need someone to give them a chance.
Thank you for reading my post, I hope my post will be useful to you and more encouraging than the salves of smears and insults that you get for starting a thread like this. Good luck in your life and make wise choices yourself, don't let others manipulate you into something you don't like or want.
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