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2. No degree: If I read that you're not doing something substantial with your life and you're going through jobs like you're changing T-shirts, you're disqualified. I want someone with drive and ambition. Unless you dropped out of college and choose a more fulfilling path which provides you with a certain financial security, you're not a match.
How would you know whether or not this is the case if it's an instant disqualifier?
2. No degree: If I read that you're not doing something substantial with your life and you're going through jobs like you're changing T-shirts, you're disqualified. I want someone with drive and ambition. Unless you dropped out of college and choose a more fulfilling path which provides you with a certain financial security, you're not a match.
Well, just saying here...
I make low 6 figures as an IT consultant, bought my house at 30, no debt, dropped out of college, no degree...
Flatly dismissing someone for not having a degree is shortsighted.
I think you qualified your answer well, but just saying someone WITH a degree fitting your criteria is equally as bad of a partner for an LTR
Yeah, I would always get that comment from men (and a lot of women on message boards)when I would post my requirements. They'd tell me I'd have to settle (usually with a man with kids)to which I replied "I'd rather have cats than settle". Not sure why so many think being alone is worse than settling, since everyone I know who settled ended up miserable or alone anyway.
I don't write "ask me", but I wrote very little in my OkCupid profile because I personally don't like reading long ones. If you tell me everything about yourself up front, there's not a whole lot I can ask you in the small talk phase. Also, I answered quite a few public match questions, so I figured that should make up for my lack of profile information.
Some of us are more adept at making small talk, and I believe there are layers and layers to peel back from the onion of our life history - if the onion wants to share.
But when you only get 2-3 pics and a bunch of 'ask me later' fill-ins, it implies or intimates they are looking for the short-term hookup or do not take the profile srsly.
I'm a sorta wordsy, cerebral, intellectual kinda guy so I think and wish and hope and dream that my Hypothetical OKCupid match is also inclined to say more rather than less, about herself.
But it still comes down to them liking/swipe Yes
on your pics/face/body most of all.
2. No degree: If I read that you're not doing something substantial with your life and you're going through jobs like you're changing T-shirts, you're disqualified. I want someone with drive and ambition.
I'll approach the "no degree" topic from the opposite direction. I have a PhD, but at this point in my life, I'm drained of most ambition. My lab basically runs itself, and the more of my day is consumed by drinking coffee and piddling around aimlessly, ultimately the more progress is made in my department. Making discoveries, publishing papers, revolutionizing the field? Perhaps, at least the first two. But my emerging ambition is to disavow all ambition.
Many persons in my position would react likewise. We worked hard in our teens and 20s, pursuing our schooling with assiduous dedication. Now comes the stage of philosophizing, of pondering the world in a cushy armchair. Meanwhile, those who were less rigorously dedicated in their youth, are now scrambling to succeed. They're the ambitious ones.
The point is that quite often, "no degree" means MORE ambition, while "advanced degree" could mean a jaded intellectual withdrawn from society and more interested in his library and the effete pursuits that the workaday world would conflate with phlegmatic indolence. I think perhaps that online daters notice this, and act accordingly.
I met my boyfriend on OKcupid. We exchanged a total of 4 messages before deciding to meet up - it's much easier for me to get a feel for someone offline. On his profile politics weren't stated but in general there are a couple political views that would mean instant disqualification. Smoking and drug use are a no-go for me. You all posted dozens of other things that I would disqualify someone for as well. Interesting how universal the turn-offs can be when it comes to online dating.
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