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I'm good friends with a lot of guys that have no desire to ever have kids of their own or deal with someone else's. They are out there =c) In fact, just on CD alone, I've met about 3 that never want kids.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by steelstress
so you're evil.
No, I said I personally don't want to have kids. It would be a bad idea, for me. I encourage people to do it if it would be a good idea in their case.
As opposed to the evil "childfree philosophy" in which they are saying NO ONE should have kids, and they want the human race to die out, like the villain in that one episode of Blacklist where the people deliberately infected themselves with a plague, for the purpose of destroying humanity.
Evil would be more akin to someone who didn't want to have kids and still having them just to fit into what they see as the standards of society. My mother had kids just because it was expected of her, same with her mother before her. Neither of them had any interest in raising kids or being a mother, neither of them were maternal in any way and their children suffered for it.
If people decide that they don't want kids and manage not to get pressured into it and end up as craptastic parents, more power to them.
I just read through 33 pages of "Why no one wants to date a single parent", and the one thing I came away with is that 90% of the people who don't want to date a single parent, want to have their own children one day.
So where does that leave those of us who are child-free, whom all those people who don't want to date parents, should be dating? They'll only date us until they find out that we don't want kids, and then we're tossed to the curb too.
When I was freshly divorced in the age range of 27-33, I wanted kids. And dating was difficult because guys assumed that because of the age range I was in that I wanted to have kids yesterday, so no one wanted to date more than just very casually, because they "weren't looking to settle down and have kids" at that point. Then once I really looked at the situation and realized when I hit 34 that I didn't want kids at all (and after I dated a guy for 2 years that had kids and didn't want any more), finding guys in the 34-39 age group that didn't have kids and also didn't want any was like finding a unicorn in a haystack. All these guys are holding out to have their own kids.
So they
A) won't date single moms
B) won't date women who are child free and don't want kids
C) won't date 27-35 year old women who don't have kids but want them because they don't want them YET
SO WHO IN THE HELL ARE THEY DATING?!?
When I was younger and wanted kids, it was impossible to find someone who wanted them. Now that I'm older and don't want them, it's impossible to find someone who doesn't have them or want them.
I HATE DATING.
Seriously, where are all the 35-40 year old childless and child free by choice men that aren't creepy? Is it just that I live in the Midwest where everyone is so family oriented? I can't wait to move to Florida to see if my luck changes.
My preference is for women with no kids, but who want to have kids in the future, why? Because I don't have kids and I want my own kids too. Don't get me wrong I'm open to dating single moms myself, I can make an exception for one kid from a previous relationship, but two, is too much. I also think geography can also be an issue. For example the area where I live has some of the highest rates of single moms probably in the country, yet a mile away in the upper east side of Manhattan I can meet and mingle with a 30 something childless woman, on the flip side, my area that I live is very rare to find a woman like that in the South Bronx unless something is wrong with her health wise physically or mentally along with societal issues at play.
Also one has to look at society, culture and upbringing. Highly educated and career driven people tend to have kids later, those who are not like that tend to have constant unplanned pregnancies. This week I do my taxes and the tax preparer ridicules me for not having kids and why I have not yet that special woman yet. My suggestion for you is to move to liberal highly academic careerist expensive hip mainly waspy white neighborhoods of NYC, Boston, DC SF. Avoid Liberal, blue collar areas, or liberal poor areas as well as conservative places where single men with kids persists.
I'm good friends with a lot of guys that have no desire to ever have kids of their own or deal with someone else's. They are out there =c) In fact, just on CD alone, I've met about 3 that never want kids.
I knew at about age 10 or so that I wasn't going to have kids... just knew it in my heart and I haven't deviated since.
I have moments where I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice, I see some little cute kid with their parents and I have a moment where I think... damn.. I know I'd have been good dad...... but it fades quickly and only happens every so often.... I'm comfortable with my choice....
Based on my childhood for me to have that level of confidence that I would have been a good dad is funny thing..........
I knew at about age 10 or so that I wasn't going to have kids... just knew it in my heart and I haven't deviated since.
I have moments where I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice, I see some little cute kid with their parents and I have a moment where I think... damn.. I know I'd have been good dad...... but it fades quickly and only happens every so often.... I'm comfortable with my choice....
Based on my childhood for me to have that level of confidence that I would have been a good dad is funny thing..........
I was told that due to PCOS, that kids just weren't going to be a possibility for me (I was told this before doctors really understood much about it) and I figured being the best aunt in the world was going to be as close as I got to being a parent. It wasn't easy, it was heartbreaking news but it didn't seem to matter to people...whether I was choosing not to have them or couldn't have them, they made me feel as if I failed society by not producing little kids or I was some sick deviant for not wanting them. Men that I dated were very cruel about it and I'm lucky that I met someone who understood the situation and offered the possibility of adoption after we got married. It took a long time for me to come to terms that it was never going to happen to me...and when I finally came to terms with it....
i was told that due to pcos, that kids just weren't going to be a possibility for me (i was told this before doctors really understood much about it) and i figured being the best aunt in the world was going to be as close as i got to being a parent. It wasn't easy, it was heartbreaking news but it didn't seem to matter to people...whether i was choosing not to have them or couldn't have them, they made me feel as if i failed society by not producing little kids or i was some sick deviant for not wanting them. Men that i dated were very cruel about it and i'm lucky that i met someone who understood the situation and offered the possibility of adoption after we got married. It took a long time for me to come to terms that it was never going to happen to me...and when i finally came to terms with it....
I just read through 33 pages of "Why no one wants to date a single parent", and the one thing I came away with is that 90% of the people who don't want to date a single parent, want to have their own children one day.
So where does that leave those of us who are child-free, whom all those people who don't want to date parents, should be dating? They'll only date us until they find out that we don't want kids, and then we're tossed to the curb too.
When I was freshly divorced in the age range of 27-33, I wanted kids. And dating was difficult because guys assumed that because of the age range I was in that I wanted to have kids yesterday, so no one wanted to date more than just very casually, because they "weren't looking to settle down and have kids" at that point. Then once I really looked at the situation and realized when I hit 34 that I didn't want kids at all (and after I dated a guy for 2 years that had kids and didn't want any more), finding guys in the 34-39 age group that didn't have kids and also didn't want any was like finding a unicorn in a haystack. All these guys are holding out to have their own kids.
So they
A) won't date single moms
B) won't date women who are child free and don't want kids
C) won't date 27-35 year old women who don't have kids but want them because they don't want them YET
SO WHO IN THE HELL ARE THEY DATING?!?
When I was younger and wanted kids, it was impossible to find someone who wanted them. Now that I'm older and don't want them, it's impossible to find someone who doesn't have them or want them.
I HATE DATING.
Seriously, where are all the 35-40 year old childless and child free by choice men that aren't creepy? Is it just that I live in the Midwest where everyone is so family oriented? I can't wait to move to Florida to see if my luck changes.
To answer your question, they're dating and knocking up 20-year olds.
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