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I recall being on a CFBC board long ago. We had to clarify to people the difference of being childfree, CFBC, and childless. Most childless people are people who cannot have children, but wanted them, and eventually gave up trying. Childfree is anyone who doesn't have kids at home (haven't had kids yet, empty nesters, whatevers). CFBC were those that do not want children, including via adoption.
CFBC was never a title or a label, it was a way to explain what your stance was without having to go through the entire paragraph I just wrote. This was 10 years ago, so maybe it's taken on a whole new life of negativity. I would say, every man I have ever dated that was CFBC liked kids or was willing to be with a woman that had a child. I think I am the only one who will fully admit to "yup, don't like kids". Most times, it was us complaining about kids/parents, but nothing about hate.
If CFBC has taken on a whole new life, I'll happily just say, "I'm allergic to children".
I recall being on a CFBC board long ago. We had to clarify to people the difference of being childfree, CFBC, and childless. Most childless people are people who cannot have children, but wanted them, and eventually gave up trying. Childfree is anyone who doesn't have kids at home (haven't had kids yet, empty nesters, whatevers). CFBC were those that do not want children, including via adoption.
CFBC was never a title or a label, it was a way to explain what your stance was without having to go through the entire paragraph I just wrote. This was 10 years ago, so maybe it's taken on a whole new life of negativity. I would say, every man I have ever dated that was CFBC liked kids or was willing to be with a woman that had a child. I think I am the only one who will fully admit to "yup, don't like kids". Most times, it was us complaining about kids/parents, but nothing about hate.
If CFBC has taken on a whole new life, I'll happily just say, "I'm allergic to children".
Thank you. CFBC is a way to answer the inevitable"WHY?" when you explain that you do not have children.
My use of the term Child Free By Choice was in direct response to the other thread titled Single Moms. And also the shortest way to explain what I meant in the short space we're given for a title.
I hear ya. This is more of a problem in the "Bible Belt" than it is other places, with you being in Dallas, that's not exactly the buckle of the bible belt, but it's in there.
With something like 80% of women eventually becoming mothers at some point in life, I don't know what to suggest outside of using OLD with a "child free" emphasis to screen out the 80% you don't want. OLD is far from perfect, but IMHO beats going out on 3-5 dates with random women, 8 out of 10 of whom are not going to be compatible.
I'd have no issue dating an old(er) woman. I've seen 50 years that still draw my attention. Issue is that I look a bit younger than I am and most older women are self conscious about the appearance of robbing the cradle or aging to the point I lose interest.
And if by M3 Mitch you're talking cars then I like your style. Hoping to snag an e92 this summer once I'm settled down here.
Nobody is forcing a label on anybody. If you embrace a particular label, you do so because it is your choice to do so.
It's not that hard to say, "I don't have kids," and leave it at that.
The problem is that even if you say you don't have kids, people assume you want them someday. This is the point I was making. It's not that us childfree folks like having to label ourselves. But we feel the need because of what others think about us. The folks who have children can be pretty condescending. My personal favorite is when they tell you that you'll change your mind about having kids.
Indeed -- love getting the "When are YOU having children?" and "Oh, you say that now, but you'll change your mind!". Oh and my personal favorite "But who will take care of you when you get old??"
Indeed -- love getting the "When are YOU having children?" and "Oh, you say that now, but you'll change your mind!". Oh and my personal favorite "But who will take care of you when you get old??"
I always want to tell them, why don't you visit a nursing home and see how many people are left to the wolves by their "families".
Indeed -- love getting the "When are YOU having children?" and "Oh, you say that now, but you'll change your mind!". Oh and my personal favorite "But who will take care of you when you get old??"
Yes, son. The only reason I had you was so that there would be someone to bathe me and change my diaper when I was old. And unlike a nurse, you won't get paid.
Location: "Silicon Valley" (part of San Francisco Bay Area, California, USA)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Osito
I always want to tell them, why don't you visit a nursing home and see how many people are left to the wolves by their "families".
But most families aren't like that. My family isn't that close and I take care of my dad when he needs it.
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