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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia
There are people on this thread without children who don't dislike them, and they don't call themselves childfree. It's a word that usually connotes "I don't like kids." The two usually seem to go hand in hand. I saw it all the time on the Parenting board. I have three children and would avoid people who announced that they don't like children, just as they would no doubt avoid me. The OP sounded confused as to why she had a hard time finding men who wanted to date her, but the simple answer is that most people don't dislike children. They either want their own or at least have enough tolerance for them to not choose that label.
Exactly. I don't have children. Never had the desire to really. Not seriously. But I'm not "child free" nor do I dislike children (as entire group). I just never had them.
Lots of child free peope have no problem with kids. You guys are just falsely associating the word with people who dislike children.
The word is defined as people who don't have and don't want children. That's it... There's nothing more to it. Also, I'm willing to bet that many people who don't call themselves "childfree" probably have never heard of the term before! Either that or you've been fooled into thinking that the word means "people who dislike children".
The poor have been overbreeding since the dawn of time. Since we no longer provide positions suited to their low skill set it is our responsibility to care for them with social safety nets.
Not everyone is smart or capable. That's just a sad fact of life. Shell out your taxes, shut your mouth and be glad it's not you born into poverty with an IQ of 90.
All "yous" general, of course.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 495neighbor
At the risk of sounding like a snob, it seems these days the least educated people who cannot afford to raise children are the ones who are having them. The people opting for childfree lifestyle sadly are the ones with more going for them.
Of course, I just got the infamous rep point with snarky comment for this post.
There are people on this thread without children who don't dislike them, and they don't call themselves childfree. It's a word that usually connotes "I don't like kids." The two usually seem to go hand in hand. I saw it all the time on the Parenting board. I have three children and would avoid people who announced that they don't like children, just as they would no doubt avoid me. The OP sounded confused as to why she had a hard time finding men who wanted to date her, but the simple answer is that most people don't dislike children. They either want their own or at least have enough tolerance for them to not choose that label.
I used to lurk or post on various child free sites and I realized while none of us have kids that's where the it ends. Most of the people on these sites hate kids and avoid them and their parents while I'm different. I avoid people who are only parents (you know the type, the ones who have no interests and believe the kids can be brats because "kids will be kids")and bratty kids. This is not saying child free hate kids, just that many do, at least on message boards. For me, I avoid single dads for a variety of reasons but the kid is low on that list. I believe though the child free have every right to feel that way, even the ones who hate kids.
Labels are often forced upon us. By that, I don't mean that others are assigning those labels, but rather that we feel the need to distinguish ourselves from others. Without a label, people may assume things about us that aren't true. For example, I'm an atheist. It's a label I would rather not use since it seems silly to define yourself in terms of what you don't believe in. But because we live in a culture that seems to assume you believe in God, it forces people like me to describe myself as an atheist. When it comes to children, it's generally assumed that most people want children, assuming they don't have any already. So I think the people who describes them as child-free do so, not necessarily to criticize the people who do want or have kids, but simply to make it clear "hey, we're not one of you." As someone who neither has nor wants kids, I don't apply this label to myself. But I can totally see why others might. Here's my question to the folks who seem to take issue with this label. Why does it bother you so much? So what if someone wants to describe themselves as child-free. Why are you so sensitive to this? Why do you assume it's a criticism of your decision to have kids? Is my calling myself an atheist a criticism of Christians? Of course not. Sadly, I've run into Christians who think it is, as if I only call myself an atheist in order to irk them.
Labels are often forced upon us. By that, I don't mean that others are assigning those labels, but rather that we feel the need to distinguish ourselves from others. Without a label, people may assume things about us that aren't true. For example, I'm an atheist. It's a label I would rather not use since it seems silly to define yourself in terms of what you don't believe in. But because we live in a culture that seems to assume you believe in God, it forces people like me to describe myself as an atheist. When it comes to children, it's generally assumed that most people want children, assuming they don't have any already. So I think the people who describes them as child-free do so, not necessarily to criticize the people who do want or have kids, but simply to make it clear "hey, we're not one of you." As someone who neither has nor wants kids, I don't apply this label to myself. But I can totally see why others might. Here's my question to the folks who seem to take issue with this label. Why does it bother you so much? So what if someone wants to describe themselves as child-free. Why are you so sensitive to this? Why do you assume it's a criticism of your decision to have kids? Is my calling myself an atheist a criticism of Christians? Of course not. Sadly, I've run into Christians who think it is, as if I only call myself an atheist in order to irk them.
Speaking of what is vastly superior, I find that if people keep their attitudes and opinions about things to themselves more, we'd all be better off...... again, both sides of the issue......
Oh, I'm fine with people sharing attitudes and opinions. One of the best ways to learn can be discussing things with people with whom you don't agree/have things in common. I like to hear why people think the way they do, PARTICULARLY if I don't think that same way. Whether or not I agree doesn't really matter.
I just don't see why "I have a different opinion than you" automatically has to be "Mine is right/better, yours is wrong/worse."
Childfree is like atheist. It's a totally unnecessary word, but one forced upon people like me all because of the folks who have kids or the ones who believe in God.
Sums it up for me. I only tell people I'm CFBC or atheist if they feel the need to label me, which most people require. You're either a parent or trying to be one, or unfortunately cannot be one. You're either christian or catholic, because is there anything else?
Nobody is forcing a label on anybody. If you embrace a particular label, you do so because it is your choice to do so.
It's not that hard to say, "I don't have kids," and leave it at that.
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again, both sides of the issue......
