Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
That you don't know of any doesn't mean that they don't exist.
Speaking for yourself, it's a thing.
I'm not saying zero exist. But I have a pretty good sample size of people who have tried and failed... so I think I have a pretty solid amount of data to project my hypothesis across the entire population.
If you have any statistics to say i'm way off base, I would be interested.
I'm not saying zero exist. But I have a pretty good sample size of people who have tried and failed... so I think I have a pretty solid amount of data to project my hypothesis across the entire population.
If you have any statistics to say i'm way off base, I would be interested.
I've known people who have had poly relationships last decades.
It takes a lot more than bringing someone in for a one-off threesome.
There are also at least two posters here on CD-R that have long term poly-relationships. One of them has posted in the past in this very thread.
I've also observed that when a nontraditional relationship fails people assume that is because of the type of relationship but ignore the fact that each and every day traditional relationships end for the same exact reasons.
Similar observations when it comes to children (hence why I addressed it directly previous post) Whenever some challenges in parenting come up in a family unit, people are quick to come to some sort of conclusion that it is because they are a non-traditional family; same sex, poly, or other wise. When in reality it boils down to parenting, child immaturity, emotional issues etc... no different than any other traditional family.
As for me personally, I was actually more selective with my sexual partners while I was in an open relationship than when I was single. People assumed that because we were both sexual and open that we would bed anyone that had a pulse. That is far from reality. Many of our shared partners were friends of mine before I was in an open relationship and still my friends (albeit platonic) of mine today.
Less to do with the success or failure of polyamory relationships but more to do with what small group of families consists of... their views... educational attainment.. etc...
I recommend that those reading that article first read the limitations and caveats section to frame the study before reading the details.
Thanks for the comments but the number one thing is not "sexual convenience". Nor is it "logistics". If I made a list it would be: companionship (day trips, travel), emotional support (being there thru the tough times), romance (you look great today), financial (only paying for one household) and the sex part would happen if there was mutual attraction. As we get older and retire most of us tend to lose a spouse or friends and wind up alone. Yes, you can join some kind of club or volunteer but it`s not the same as having someone waiting for you at home. We do live in a small town with limited possibilities since there is a lot of substance use. Not going to lower our standards as you call them but wouldn`t be against helping someone who is looking for a hand up and not a hand out. It`s amazing how many people have this "I like to struggle mentality" and are always broke before the end of the month. They insist on living alone instead of building their own support base and in the end will be alone in a "home". In the past I worked in a service job in "homes" and have seen it first hand.
I hear what you are saying, and I just don't see how that's possible long term. It is inviting strife, envy, jealousy and all sorts of other emotions that will over time tear any relationship apart.
I think it really comes down to how you conceptualize sex. If you put sex and sexuality up on a pedestal, considering it a sacred bonding experience between two committed lovers, then naturally it would cause these negative emotions if you were to engage in sexual activity with others. But if you see sex as just another enjoyable activity, then there is no reason it has to come with that sort of baggage and stress. You wouldn't be torn apart by jealousy if your partner, let's say, enjoyed playing euchre with another person. Neither philosophy is more correct than the other, it's just a different way of seeing things. Just because non-monogamy would not be emotionally healthy for you doesn't mean others must definitionally feel the same way.
Quote:
Originally Posted by WinterLover2
I'm not saying zero exist. But I have a pretty good sample size of people who have tried and failed... so I think I have a pretty solid amount of data to project my hypothesis across the entire population.
If you have any statistics to say i'm way off base, I would be interested.
Yous "sample" is hopelessly skewed because you most likely never would have known about the couples who practiced non-monogamy successfully. Even today when the culture is at least a smidgen less quick to condemn such differences, most people keep their private sexual lives private. Your parents, grandparents, or next door neighbors may well have been carrying on multiple open and honest relationships and you would be none the wiser because they didn't go shouting this information through the streets. You only hear about these relationships when they explode into a big, messy ball of ill will. And poly/open relationships certainly don't have a lock on messy breakups.
I am a firm believer that every person should have the kinds of relationships that he or she finds most fulfilling and authentic, as long as no one is being harmed. If monogamy feels right to you, that is the sort of relationship you should seek. If a different structure brings more joy to all involved, then that is the right answer for those people.
I don't know if a TON of people are seeking polyamorous relationships, but I think that the number will increase as it becomes more accepted in society.
I don't think that monogamy is a bad ideal, or that it doesn't work. I think that it does not work for everyone and it's time that people get with the program. The thing is that, there has always been people who desire to be with more than one person, or many people at once...some of those people have been historically considered serial daters and some of them are cheaters.
I think of it this way, if I was dating, I'd be thankful that someone had the honesty to say "you know what, I don't really like being tied down to one person" or "I plan on being with the next person I date for life" or anything in-between. If people were honest about what they wanted in the first place, there would be more happy people in happy relationships. I think polyamory is misunderstood by many people to be cheating, and it is not the same thing at all. That being said, I do not subscribe to the "monogamy is dead and is a stupid ideal" camps who believe that polyamory is some magical solution to their problems or a way to avoid honest communication. Same could be said for monogamy because that can be used as a crutch too. It doesn't matter the nature of the relationship....a dishonest person can be in either. Poly as I understand it, does not mean that the people involved get to do whatever they want without proper communication.
I'm so against it. I think you're right that there are a lot of women out there nowadays who are looking to play the "let's juggle penises" game because when I met my boyfriend and he asked me if I was interested in sleeping with other guys and I looked startled and said no, I'm 100% monogamous, he was visibly relieved that I wasn't a ho.
I think it's unfortunate that so many normal, good guys out there are just expecting to be cuckolded now. What is wrong with women nowadays? You're in a relationship now, close your legs! Damn!
I'm not affected by what other people choose to do with their romantic lives.
I wouldn't enter into a relationship like that, but that's just how I feel. I don't really care if other's choose to. They're not hurting me.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
