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I do think it's valid to make more classes than "monogamy vs polyamory" as if anything not monogamous was the same. You do have various levels of commitment.
I do think it's valid to make more classes than "monogamy vs polyamory" as if anything not monogamous was the same. You do have various levels of commitment.
well it kind of is, mono means one poly means more than one. its very simple
well it kind of is, mono means one poly means more than one. its very simple
Yes, but there are different structures as sort of subsets to each thing.
The person who is a "mate for life" monogamist is not the same as the one who wants and expects exclusivity in relationships but only expects each relationship to last maybe a few months to a year or two (serial monogamy)...
The young person who sets out to have lots of casual sex is also a far cry from the poly group with three or more committed individuals and structure to the whole overall relationship. And either is different from swingers or people with open relationships.
Polyamory in my mind doesn't describe someone who can just get it on with anybody they feel like any time they want, it's more a dynamic with at least one committed relationship involved, and either the people get involved with others in a significant manner or they have bonded up with a third or another couple or something. You have the "primary" relationship and then secondary one(s). But the main thing is full disclosure and communication to the partner and agreement about who is doing what. At least that's what I'm seeing.
Polyamory isn't socially mainstream or numerically substantial, but it does appear to enjoy a strong following amongst child-free, secular, iconoclastic types. I share the OP's frustrations, as I myself am the child-free secular type, but am otherwise quite conservative, or outright reactionary. Those who prefer the "traditional" committed monogamous relationship so often tend to be religious and to want children. And this is especially the case amongst well-established professionals… at least in my geographic region.
As concerns online dating, if we run a filter on "doesn't have children, and doesn't want any", and "not religious", then a large proportion of poly-inclined people will crop up – even if overall they're a small subset.
Polyamory isn't socially mainstream or numerically substantial, but it does appear to enjoy a strong following amongst child-free, secular, iconoclastic types. I share the OP's frustrations, as I myself am the child-free secular type, but am otherwise quite conservative, or outright reactionary. Those who prefer the "traditional" committed monogamous relationship so often tend to be religious and to want children. And this is especially the case amongst well-established professionals… at least in my geographic region.
As concerns online dating, if we run a filter on "doesn't have children, and doesn't want any", and "not religious", then a large proportion of poly-inclined people will crop up – even if overall they're a small subset.
couldn't have said it better myself, I am an extreme liberal, and I am agnostic so my social views tend to lean fer left, but the dynamic I feel most comfortable in for relationships leans far right. so 90% of the women that would adhere to the same rules of monogamy that I do would most likely be rightwing fundamentalist christian, so we would have almost nothing else in common. and the sex would ne non existent unless we ruched to the alter.
Just found this thread. Since taking an early retirement we have been looking for a single mature female for a possible roommate-friendship-relationship. Been married for many years and have never cheated. We are looking at the idea with two things in mind. One would be to add security to our future and second to help someone living alone to do the same thing. Right now we own our home and we are secure. But when the coming financial disaster comes from the debt or maybe a natural disaster we think having a third person in our family would benefit all of us. Everyday we hear from someone that they just got a reverse mortgage or they had to sell their home and move into a small trailer or apartment. We worked too hard for what we have and we want to hold onto it. We are clean, stable, in good shape, decent looking and use no substances and so far no one has been interested. Not sure where anyone is finding people into a poly relationship.
Someone else pretty much summarized it by saying the main draws are freedom and variety; I would agree.
Me...I'm a female and not interested in it. I get tired just thinking of all the time, effort and drama maintaining that would entail.
I have no desire for that lifestyle either, to me it seems like too much work too, but whatever floats peoples boats. As long everyone knows the deal, then fine, have at it.
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