Why are men made to feel ashamed concerning escorts? (marriage, romantic, experiences)
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As long as a woman is involved in the sex trade of her own free will, I don't have any problem with escort services. I don't look down on the women who sell their bodies, nor the men that utilizes their services.
But, because prostitution in the US is not legal and therefore not regulated, if I met a man who confessed to using an escort services, I doubt I would become sexually involved with that man. My main concern would be diseases.
I don't have any moral issues with prostitution, in fact I think it should be decimalized
I agree. But since it has not yet been "decimalized" [sic], I will put in my two shillings.
To answer the original question: I think the reason why men are shamed for going with hookers (and also the reason why hookers are shamed if choosing that job) is that, first, there are a lot of people who feel a need to judge others in one way or another, and second, many people are so hung-up about sex that it leads them to judge other people's sex lives (classic example, Puritanical types who hate seeing anyone not following Puritanical ways). Perhaps this is why gay-bashing was so prevalent for so long.
In fact, there seem to be more posts in this thread whose purpose is to express such judgments than there are posts giving a direct answer to the original question. That tells you something right there. Apparently, they do it because they can get away with it.
As for the moral issue, I definitely agree with this:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Stockyman
The older I get, the more I believe lying to get sex is much worse.
and i'm not even saying it's the women's fault..they cant help but be attracted to who they like. at the same time, you cant blame a guy for wanting to go the escort route either.
No one's blaming the guy. But they are not going out of their way to date him either. Going to a prostitute is a symptom for the reason the guy struggles with intimate relationships. I probably wouldn't be interested in him because of the same reasons others are rejecting him--Defective personality, intimacy problems, porn/sex addiction, social retardation, extreme kinks, or whatever the root cause is of his inability to get a woman to **** him for free.
Being tested and immediately confirmed cleaned isn't that simple. HIV has a window period of 3 to 6 months.
If it's regulated it would mean no sex worker would be able to work until verified I would assume. the gates for legal sex work wouldn't just be opened and let free without stipulations for those who wanted to partake in it put in place.
Legal doesn't mean free of laws.
People should assume the risk of catching something with anyone they barley know...that applies to everyone regardless of what source their partners come from.
Yeah, I think that some women have the idea that something must be "wrong" with a guy if he "had" to utilize escorts, not seeming to realize that as great as a guy may be, that doesn't mean he will be attractive to women. It is what it is. But at least you are one of those women who don't care about such past details, if you're being honest
Remember, though, that I also admitted to having an emotional response about it, rather than a logical one. That's why I prefer not to know the past. It's not that I don't "care;" right or wrong, it would be a hurdle for me to get over if I learned that my SO was once with a prostitute. I fully own that that's on me and my own insecurity or misconception, but I know it would be there.
Hence, I'd rather just not know. I'd prefer for his past not to dictate our future.
No one's blaming the guy. But they are not going out of their way to date him either. Going to a prostitute is a symptom for the reason the guy struggles with intimate relationships. I probably wouldn't be interested in him because of the same reasons others are rejecting him--Defective personality, intimacy problems, porn/sex addiction, social retardation, extreme kinks, or whatever the root cause is of his inability to get a woman to **** him for free.
I like how you assume there must be something wrong with a guy if a woman isn't..or has never been romantically interested in him..
Guess what..He may very well not even have any of those issues you stated..and women can still just not be romantically into him. No one is entitled to a date along with a relationship in life.
There is likely at least some normal men that have gone to prostitution after constantly having zero luck in the dating game..it's bound to take a toll.
I agree. But since it has not yet been "decimalized" [sic], I will put in my two shillings.
To answer the original question: I think the reason why men are shamed for going with hookers (and also the reason why hookers are shamed if choosing that job) is that, first, there are a lot of people who feel a need to judge others in one way or another, and second, many people are so hung-up about sex that it leads them to judge other people's sex lives. Perhaps this is why gay-bashing was so prevalent for so long.
In fact, there seem to be more posts in this thread whose purpose is to express such judgments than there are posts giving a direct answer to the original question. That tells you something right there. They do it because they can get away with it.
As for the moral issue, I definitely agree with this:
I already stated up thread that I personally find it embarrassing to have to pay for sex, but I get that some guys don't mind. I've always been pretty good at getting women, at least I used to be I haven't been single for a long time, so maybe I don't have any game anymore, so who knows...
I couldn't care less what people do in their bedrooms, if a guy wants to pay to play, fine, just wasn't for me.
I find the idea of being a sex worker pretty abhorrent, but I think if a woman wants to get into that line of work, who am I to say otherwise. Would I recommend it, no, but again, whatever works for each person. That's why I think it shouldn't be illegal, matter of fact, tax it, regulate it and make sure they are tested and are disease free.
I'm not a big tax and spend guy, but when it comes to things like that tax the hell out of it and control it.
Being tested and immediately confirmed clean isn't that simple. HIV has a window period of 3 to 6 months.
Being tested... that should be done with anyone... this is not just a prostitute exclusive thing.
None of my circle of friends would have sex without condom... even when I was with them as a FWB. It was never an option. My GF and I also used the condom all the time.
The only times in my life that having sex without a condom was an option (not included post marriage) was the handful of times casually with people I just met.... yeh... alcohol was involved too.
My point is.... you simply never know...
Sex is suppose to be fun.. but do so in a safe manner.
No one's blaming the guy. But they are not going out of their way to date him either. Going to a prostitute is a symptom for the reason the guy struggles with intimate relationships. I probably wouldn't be interested in him because of the same reasons others are rejecting him--Defective personality, intimacy problems, porn/sex addiction, social retardation, extreme kinks, or whatever the root cause is of his inability to get a woman to **** him for free.
Ok, I'll bite... what if he's just ugly?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Marliss
As long as a woman is involved in the sex trade of her own free will, I don't have any problem with escort services. I don't look down on the women who sell their bodies, nor the men that utilizes their services.
But, because prostitution in the US is not legal and therefore not regulated, if I met a man who confessed to using an escort services, I doubt I would become sexually involved with that man. My main concern would be diseases.
I just have the idea that it's not really diseases that concern you since, as someone pointed out, people can be tested. I think that you may just think it gross and unclean in general. Fair enough. That being said, would it be more tolerable if you knew a guy was a "player" before he met you and had probably been with a good number of women sexually before you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissClutterbuck
Remember, though, that I also admitted to having an emotional response about it, rather than a logical one. That's why I prefer not to know the past. It's not that I don't "care;" right or wrong, it would be a hurdle for me to get over if I learned that my SO was once with a prostitute. I fully own that that's on me and my own insecurity or misconception, but I know it would be there.
Hence, I'd rather just not know. I'd prefer for his past not to dictate our future.
Yes, at least you are honest enough to admit that your disdain may be more based on emotions and/or misconceptions and not necessarily logic. I guess many people are influenced by their emotions to a certain degree. But why did you say your own insecurity? How would that play in part in your stance? Just curious.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2kCity33
I like how you assume there must be something wrong with a guy if a woman isn't..or has never been romantically interested in him..
Guess what..He may very well not even have any of those issues you stated..and women can still just not be romantically into him. No one is entitled to a date along with a relationship in life.
There is likely at least some normal men that have gone to prostitution after constantly having zero luck in the dating game..it's bound to take a toll.
I find it interesting that many people on here seem to think it's always the guy's fault that women don't like him. Then when you say that a lot of women have nice men in the "friend zone", all of a sudden people are "They don't have to like them!!" Uh yeah... no one is saying the do. The point is, it should go to show that there are people in which there is nothing wrong with who they are, but people for whatever reason aren't ATTRACTED to them romantically or sexually. Why is this so difficult for people to understand?
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